It’s that time of year and yet again I’ve seen plenty of incoming interns asking what they can do to prepare. I wrote this post to share some tips for all of the not-exactly-medical stuff I wish I knew before I started intern year and to share a few things that interns can do before they start to feel like they’re well prepared for the long white coat.
As a quick background, I was a surgery intern in the first half of the 2010s and much of this is informed by my notes and memories from that time in addition to everything I’ve learned since, particularly about professionalism both in medicine and in the business world with work I’ve done in the healthcare startup arena. I’m also not perfect and very much a work in progress myself and, outside the intern-specific items here, I try to do most of these things myself—sometimes more successfully than others.
So take what you think are good ideas here, leave what you don’t think would be useful, and if anyone else has anything to add, please feel free to chime in.
TL;DR: Intern year is hard. Here are some not-so-commonly-disucussed tips that may help.

Mindset

1. Being an effective intern is, at its core, about being responsible, effective and reliable.

Your day to day responsibilities are nearly always dominated by the need to get things done and to do so in a manner that lets your other team members focus on their own roles and responsibilities. What about learning clinical medicine? You'll learn plenty and fast. Don't worry.
When reading through these tips below, view them from an angle of “would this help me develop an effective system for making sure everything gets done and nothing falls through the cracks?”

2. For your in-the-hospital life as well as your outside-the-hospital life, remember this one thing: you will forget.

You will be busy and have responsibilities in a way you likely have never experienced before. This will naturally make the day-to-day things in life more difficult than you’re used to so developing ways to outsmart your forgetful brain will pay off.

3. You are a professional now. This is your career. You’re in it.

It’s easy to view your life as a trainee as a sort of advanced student or something in between a student and a “real doctor”. But that’s not true. View yourself as a professional building your career. Your intern year is just the first step of that career. You’re a real doctor as much as any other now.

4. One of the hardest things about being an intern or resident is dealing with feelings of isolation. It will take work to actively manage and overcome those feelings.

Imposter syndrome, feeling like you don’t know what you’re doing or that you don’t belong, feeling like you’re not the person you used to be, that you don’t have time to do all the “normal” things that other people do, thinking your co-residents or attendings think you’re dumb, feeling that you don’t have time for friends/family/hobbies, ruminating on “what if I screw this up and hurt a patient?”, or “this doesn’t matter -- the patient is going to XX or YY anyway” etc are all common feelings and they all share the same undercurrent of feeling isolated in one way or another. You need to actively work to find ways to confront and overcome these feelings or else they will control you. When they control you, you’re burned out.
It may not seem like it at first, but nearly every single tip below is geared towards avoiding feelings of isolation. Feeling like you’re not in control of your finances will make you feel isolated. Feeling like you’re losing a handle on your relationships will make you feel isolated. Feeling like you’re behind on your email and haven’t done all the little things in life you need to do will make you feel isolated. Read these tips through that lens.

What you can do before you start

1. Organize and update your contacts. Seriously.

Here are some ways it can help you maintain and grow your relationships.

• Use the ‘Notes’ feature in your contacts for everyone important in your life and all the new people meet.
  
  • You will forget your friends’ kids names and ages. Every time you get a birth announcement or see a post on social media, go to your friend’s contact, edit the notes and put in the info. Then, when you reach out to your friends, ask about their kids...by name.
  • You will forget your friends’ boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/partner’s name, especially if you’ve never met them or haven’t seen them for a long time. Put their name in your friends’ card with a note like “Started seeing Sam in June 2020, he/she’s a software engineer”. Someone you know gets married? Add their wedding date to their card.
  • You will forget how you knew people in your contacts. Met at a conference? Was a medical student on your heme onc service? Friend-of-a-friend you met at a wedding? Someone shares an interest you have? Make a note in their contact card. Tip: these notes are for you, not them. So if someone reminds you of an actor, or didn’t stop talking about bitcoin, make a note. It will help because you will forget.
• Tag your contacts or add them to lists and use those tags/lists to your advantage.
  
  • Make lists or tags for your family, your medical school friends, your undergrad friends, your coresidents, your attendings, your medical students, the hospitals you’ll be working at, etc. Put those lists or tags to use like this:
    • You will forget to stay in touch with people important to you. Set reminders in your phone for every week / two weeks / month, etc to pull up a list (family, medical school friends, etc), pick someone on that list you haven’t chatted with in a while and text them and ask them how they’re doing. Aim to start a conversation, ask about what’s happening in their life. Texts are more personal and meaningful than liking a post on social media or sharing a meme. Initiating conversations with your friends and family will help you feel connected and will increase the likelihood they reach out to you.
    • Don’t label your medical students like “MS3 Laura” or “Sub-I Juan”, etc. Label them with their full name and treat them like the colleagues they are. Put them on a list, clear it out next year if you want, but don’t treat them as “MS3 XXX“ or “MS4 YYY”. I’m sure you remember feeling like a nameless/faceless medical student at times in school and I’m sure you didn’t love it. So don’t repeat that behavior. Add a note or two about them while you’re at it. Take enough interest in your medical students to treat them well. You never know when or how you’ll cross paths with them again.
    • If you rotate through different hospitals, you will forget which “ED” or “PACU” or “nursing station 3rd floor” numbers are which. Tag them or put them on a list. It’ll make finding them when you need them much easier.

2. Use a good note taking app and a good task manager app to help with both your in-hospital life and your outside-of-the-hospital life.

Here are some ways to use a notes app.

• Make a note for each rotation you’re on. Add in any unstructured tips as they come up, like “Send all of Dr. X’s patients home with Y”, “Use the call room in the basement outside of the locker room, passcode 1234”, “Park in the X lot on the weekends”, “Dr. A likes to manage Z with Y”, “The case manager, NAME, usually sits at the computer behind the 2nd floor nurses station”, etc. Don't overthink them, just write them down when they come up. Review those notes the next time you rotate through because you will forget all those little things and they will help you in the future.
  
• Create a master grocery list of all things you typically get at the grocery store. Share it with a roommate/partner so they can keep it updated too. That way if you ever stop to pick something up, you can review the list to make sure there’s nothing you’ll forget.
  
  • Make master lists for other things in your life too like “packing for a conference”, “packing for a family trip”, “Target/Wal-Mart household master list” so you can quickly review anytime something comes up so you minimize the chance of forgetting something
• Make notes for all of the other stuff you have to manage in your life like your car, your apartment/house, your loans, etc and update them every time you work on that thing. Change your loan repayment? Add it to the note. Have to get your brakes fixed? Add to the note where you got it done, how much it cost, etc. Talk to your landlord about fixing the shower? Add it to the note. Have to call the medical board to sort something out with a license? Add it to the note.
  
• I like two note apps on iOS: Bear for personal notes since it’s fast and has great tagging and Apple’s Notes app for shared notes
  

Pick a good task manager app and use it for all the things in your life that aren’t your day-to-day work

• Cousin getting married and you can go to the wedding? Make tasks to ensure your time off, book your travel, buy a gift, rent a hotel room, etc. Then put all the relevant info into your note because...you will forget.
  
• Pandemic is over and you get to present a poster at a conference? Make tasks to review your draft with your coauthors, print your poster, book your travel, submit your reimbursement, etc. Then put all the relevant info into a note. Otherwise, you’ll forget.
  
• I like Things and have also liked OmniFocus. There is a ton of content on how to set one of these things up for productivity so review it and use it YouTube search
  

3. Take charge of your finances

When I was an intern, I figured all I had to do was pay my loans and not go into more debt. I wish I had done the following instead:

1. Read these two books: The White Coat Investor and I Will Teach You To Be Rich. Both are very good and have different strengths. The WCI is directly applicable to you and will help educate you in ways medical school didn’t about your financial future. IWTYTBR is much more of a “millennial” book but it’s very good for explaining big concepts and for providing a system to set yourself up for success. They’re both easy and relatively quick reads and don’t require any financial background. WCI is fine as an e-book but IWTY has a bunch of dialog boxes that make the e-book a poor experience, get a physical new or used copy.
2. Set up a budget. I use and swear by You Need A Budget. It’s the best money I spend every year. Their system is easy and straightforward and it doesn’t take long to get the hang of it. I can’t recommend it highly enough.

4. Update your CV now and keep it updated regularly

You will no doubt have to share your CV with someone at some point whether it’s for fellowship or a research project or any number of things. The time to work on it is not when someone says “can you share your CV?” -- that’s a recipe for omissions, typos and mistakes. The only thing you should be doing every time you share your CV is giving it a quick once-over to make sure you don’t spot any mistakes and to make sure it’s up to date
There are plenty of templates online and your training institution may even have a preferred format somewhere on their website. Your ERAS application will give you a good head start but most of your medical school CV lines will either be condensed or removed all together unless something was particularly notable. You can almost always find example CVs online from senior people in your department or institution with a quick web search -- use a few as a guide
Set a reminder / task to update your CV at regular intervals. Quarterly is good, yearly at least. Save new versions of it each time so you can refer to the old ones if you need to and name them in a way to let you know you’re always sharing the most recent version, e.g., LASTNAME_FIRST NAME_CV_2020-06. You will forget if the one marked “CV” only is the right one you want to share.

5. Subscribe to a couple of newsletters to stay up to date with the world outside of your hospital

• For general news, your preferred newspaper probably has a daily email briefing. Otherwise, Axios AM/PM and Politico’s Playbook are both very good quick reads to stay up to date with current events.
  
  • Keep up with healthcare news so you know what’s going on in the healthcare system broadly
    • Axios Vitals is a great, quick daily healthcare news update
    • Politico’s Pulse and Morning eHealth are both very good and have quick facts at the beginning if you just want to skim
    • Rock Health’s Rock Weekly is a decent summary of each week in the healthcare startup and technology world

Pick a few of these and aim to get through them each day. If you can’t get through them, unsubscribe to the ones you think are least relevant to you so you never feel “behind” in staying up with the news. You can breeze through the few you pick in a few minutes here and there throughout the day -- don’t make it any harder than that to feel like you’re “up to date” on the news.

General tips for maintaining relationships

• For any romantic relationship, do these things if you don’t already:

 1. Make a rule: no phones at the table. * Don’t put your phone on the table face-up. Don’t put your phone on the table face-down. Keep your phone off the table and set to silent. * Focus on the person in front of you and show them you care about them by paying attention to them. We all know what it feels like to be with someone more interested in their screen than in interacting with you. If you’re on call, say “sorry, I’m on call, I may have to check something here and there”, apologize if you do check it and then put your phone away. 2. Make another rule: no phones in bed * Same principle as at the table. Want to feel like two strangers just passing through life who just so happen to share the same bed? Wake up, reach for your phone and scroll through your feeds like a zombie before getting out of bed. Same idea before bed. Your phone can wait. 3. If you’re at the point where you share finances, set a regular meeting to review how you’re doing. * Ideally, this is a “red, yellow or green” meeting and should only take a few minutes. Money can be a big conflict issue for relationships and avoiding talking about money is a surefire way to eventually turn to conflict. If you have a budget and shared goals, this should be quick. * A monthly check-in is good. Create a recurring calendar event, attach the shared notes or spreadsheet document you use, add your goals for the meeting and honor the meeting when it comes around. 

• Eat with people who are important to you, if you can.
  
  • There’s something about sharing a meal that’s special in human nature. Friends who are important to you? Partners? Mentors you’re looking to get to know better after you’ve had a few chats? Try to eat with them when you can. And keep your phone off the table.
  • The same idea works with your coresidents and teams in the hospital. Eat with them if you can. Eating with others builds, strengthens and maintains relationships. Keep your phone off the table if you can.

Think about it this way: who would you consider a better mentor, the person you’ve met with a few times in their office where they sit behind their desk and you in front of them while they glance at their computer screen every time it pings or the person who’s invited you to get coffee or food and they kept their phone away the whole time? Now turn that around and realize the power of the message you can send to people you care about by trying to eat with them and show them they have your full attention.

Hospital tips

1. Learn to think about tasks as a continuum from start to finish instead of as a binary 'done/not done'.

Let’s say you have to order a CT for a patient of yours.

• Instead of marking the task as complete the second you place the order for the CT, recognize that the whole task is not just placing the order, but also knowing when your patient is going down to the scanner, when they’re back, when the CT is up in the system, when the report is up and also that you’ve looked at the CT yourself and have read the report.
  
• When your senior or attending asks you, “Did patient X get their CT?”, a not-so-great answer is “Yes” or “No”. A better answer is “they’re down at the scanner now” or “the scan’s done but it hasn’t been read yet. Want to look at it?” or “Yes, it’s negative for XXX but did show YYY”.
  

Whatever system you eventually adopt for your day-to-day task management in the hospital, whether it’s a list or index cards or a printed signout sheet, make sure you’re tracking both when orders go in, when they’re complete, when they’re cancelled, etc. Just marking things as complete once you place the order isn’t enough.

2. Signout is taken, not given.

What I mean by this is that when you take signout, that means you’re accepting responsibility for those patients. They might be your patients, you might be cross-covering, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that when those patients are your responsibility, it’s your responsibility to get what you need to know to take care of them.
Is someone signing out to you in a hurry and not giving you what you need? Ask them for that relevant past medical history, those exam findings, and so on. It’s not enough for the person handing off to say “we’re worried about x or y”, you’ve got to follow that up with “in case of x or y, is there a plan for what the team wants me to do?”. Get the answers you need.
A lot of covering patients on call is playing defense whereas the primary team generally plays offense. But that doesn’t mean you can play defense in isolation. The last thing you want is for the primary team to feel surprised by your choices.

 * Here’s two ways for the above example to go when turning the patients you were covering back over the next day or whatever: 1. You: “For patient so-and-so, you said you were worried about x or y. Y happened.” Them: “What did you do?”. You: “Z”. Them: “Shit, my attending’s not gonna like that”. 2. You “Y happened so I did A like you said, it went fine and here’s the current status”. Them: “Great, thanks” * See the difference? 

• Along the lines of taking responsibility for those patients, that means that if you couldn’t get the information you needed at signout then you have to go and see those patients and get the information you need yourself.
  
  • You’ll hear this idea said a bunch of different ways like “trust but verify”, “trust no one” and your comfort level will change over the year as you become more confident and comfortable. But always error on the side of going to see the patient and getting your own information at the start.

3. If you will be miserable without something when you’re in the hospital, bring it with you. You won’t reliably be able to find it at the hospital every time you need it.

• Need coffee otherwise you turn into a demon? Bring it with you. You never know when you’ll get caught doing something and won’t be able to run to the cafeteria for your fix.
  
• On call overnight and know you need food so you don’t go insane? Bring it with you. Here’s a hospital food rule: never rely on the hospital's ability to feed you. The hospital will let you down sooner or later, I guarantee it.
  
• Know you always get cold on call? The day you forget your jacket/sweatshirt is the day you won’t be able to find a spare blanket in the hospital to save your life. Put a backup in your locker (if your hospital respects you enough to give you one).
  

Miscellaneous productivity, professionalism and lifestyle tips

1. Aim to “touch” everything only once

• Example: your physical mail. You know, the stuff made of dead trees that accumulates in that box you check every once in a while. For every piece of mail you get, you should either trash it, file it, or act on it. Don’t touch it until you’re ready to do one of those things.
  
• Example: your email. Either delete it, archive it, reply to it or do the thing it’s telling you to do right away. Don’t fall into the trap of using your inbox as a to-do list -- that’s a recipe to get burned. Use a task manager for your to-do list and aim to keep your inbox at zero. Realize that email’s true power is communication and use it as a communication tool and nothing else.
  
• I’ll use the example of going to a wedding again as something to “touch once”. Aim to accomplish all the tasks at once or at least create tasks and reminders to complete those tasks all in one go. Respond to the RSVP, create the calendar invite with all the information from the invitation, share the calendar event with your date, book your travel, book your hotel, book your rental car, buy your gift from the registry and set a reminder to get your suit/dress cleaned a few weeks ahead, etc.
  

2. Lean to use your calendar as a tool

Professionals in the “real world” tend to live and die by their calendars. Some people, especially many senior people in medicine, don’t manage their own calendars. But you manage yours. With it you can:

• Make sure all events—even small ones like dates or errands you want to run—have locations so all you have to do is click the location for directions
  
• Send invites to friends / family / coworkers for anything you talk about doing that has the relevant info
  
• Make reminders for yourself to prepare for upcoming events, i.e.., don’t count on seeing your parents’/spouses’/whomever’s birthday “coming up” to remind you to get a gift or send a card. Create an event two weeks before their birthday that says “Buy Mom a birthday card”, set it to repeat yearly and buy a card when it comes up, send it a few days later and don’t worry that it won’t get there in time.
  

3. Learn to use email well

Ever get an email from someone and feel their tone was terse, condescending or rude? Don’t be that person. Error on the side being polite and professional and writing in complete sentences without textspeak. It’s not hard — you type fast, even with your thumbs, I’m sure of it.

• Learn to communicate effectively. Keep it short but not terse. State why you’re writing to someone, be clear if you’re asking a question, and think about it this way: “How am I making it as easy as possible for this person to understand why I’m emailing them and do what I’m asking them to do?
  
• Don’t use a canned salutation like “Best, NAME” or even worse: “Best, INITIALS”. Use your salutation to continue to communicate your message and remember that politeness and professionalism extend through your signature.
  
  • I don’t know why “Best,” is so common in medicine but it’s meaningless, unthoughtful, inherently passive aggressive and I seriously read it as if the person writing it were signing off by saying “Go f*ck yourself,”. Same thing for “Regards,” and its ilk, any abbreviation like “vr,” or any form of cutesy quote.
  • Write your salutation fresh each time. Did you ask someone for something? Say “Thank you for your help”. Are you writing someone senior to you and want to sound somewhat formal? “Sincerely,” never goes out of style. Are you sharing information and essentially writing a memo? Use “Please let me know if you have any questions”. Your salutation is communication, treat it that way.
  • Sign with your name, not your initials. Signing with initials is a common way senior people will try to remind you they’re senior to you. If you do it, it’s like you’re trying to prove you’re a Cool Guy Big Shot too. It never comes across well -- even for those senior people. Initials are terse. Lowercase initials are even terser. Although they may look different at first glance, all initial signatures functionally come across as ‘FU’. Write your name.
    • If it’s a few rounds back and forth of email, it’s normal drop salutations and signatures and treat email more like texting. Keep using complete sentences without textspeak, though. I promise you’ll come across better that way.
  • Use the ‘signature’ feature of your email client to share your professional details and contact information
    • Your institution (not department) will hopefully have a format for this that’s standardized and includes minimal or no graphics. If it doesn't, then I feel sorry for all the inevitable IT headaches you will eventually endure at your institution since they clearly underfund and undervalue contemporary IT and professional services. It’s the wild west out there so find some good examples of clean, professional signature formats and make one for yourself.
    • Note: this signature lives below your salutation and sign off. It’s essentially the letterhead for your email that lets your recipient fill in the details you may not otherwise provide like your department, mailing address or fax number. It’s not a replacement for signing off of your communication professionally.
  • Never use bold, italics, underlines or different font sizes in your emails. They only make emails harder to read and jumble your message.
• If you want to highlight something, put it in a numbered or bulleted list.
  
  • If you can’t communicate what you want with 2-3 bulleted points, then email is not the right medium to use. Do you like reading long emails? Of course you don’t. Write a memo, attach it as a PDF or shared doc and use the email to tell your recipients to review the attachment.
• You will eventually, in some way or another, ask someone to introduce you to one of their contacts and or refer you for something. Learn how to write a good forwardable email that utilizes the double opt-in concept and how to make it easy on the person doing you the favor. Read more here, here and here.
  
  • While you’re at it, understand the power of using CC and BCC to communicate effectively.
• Aim to answer all emails written directly to you within 24 hours.
  
  • If you can’t respond fully right away, respond briefly saying you got the note and that you’ll work on it and get back to them. Set a reminder or create a task to do or review the thing and get back to them once you’ve done it.
  • Do you hate being left on read in text? You do it in email every time you don’t respond to someone in a timely fashion. It’s better to share a quick, “I got it and I’m working on it message” then not replying until days or weeks later.

4. Don’t let someone else’s negative energy and/or anxiety transfer to you

You will frequently experience things like this in the hospital:

• A co-resident disagrees with a management decision made at rounds and mentions that so-and-so is an idiot. So-and-so probably isn’t an idiot. Your co-resident probably isn’t an idiot either. Form your own opinions from your own experiences.
  
• A nurse pages you with a tone that says “THIS IS REALLY BAD”. It might be, go and see. And on your way, stay calm and go over the steps in your head of what you’d do if it is, in fact, REALLY BAD. But don’t freak yourself out before you even get to the room. You won’t be able to make decisions with a clear head if you’re already worked up.
  
• You’re a surgery intern and all your patients are normally on the med-surg floor. Every once in a while, one goes somewhere like heme-onc if the med-surg floor is full. Someone on your team says something like “great, now they’re going to screw up our patient”. Recognize that that floor isn’t full of terrible nurses and may just have less experiences with lines and drains and that the best thing you can do is go down there, talk to the nurse and say “here’s what we want to be called about” and “this thing may look bad but it usually isn’t and we don’t need to be called, here’s why”, and so on. Doing things like this will mean you get fewer calls. Fewer calls are good.
  
• Your attending is having a bad day and you’re not enjoying your interactions with them. Don’t let that make you have a bad day too. Medicine is hard enough as it is, stick to your own bad days instead adopting other people’s. Then pull up your friend list, text a buddy and feel better.
  

5. Don’t neglect your physical health. Trying to eat well and stay active are even more important when you’re insanely busy.

The #1 thing you can do to help your waistline is cook your own food and pack your own meals. It doesn’t matter what you cook or how good of a cook you are, as long as you’re aiming to pack meals that an adult would eat, it will be healthier than takeout and cafeteria food. It’s better for portion control, you control all the ingredients and you get a sense of satisfaction for being on the ball. It’s better in every way.
I know it’s not realistic to always prep and pack your own food on the busiest of services but you should try to hit at least a percentage like 25% or 50% of your meals. There are no lost causes in your own health.
It will be hard to exercise and work out. You should still try to do it anyway. You will go long stretches without exercising at times. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Every day is a chance to do the thing you want to do so get back out there.

6. If your social profiles are private, consider doing some housekeeping and making them public.

Instead of thinking about them as a liability to be that needs to be hidden, think about them as a narrative you can control.
Nothing is private on the internet. Even your private profile. You never know who knows someone you know or what may get screenshotted and shared down the line.
It’s natural to run a web search on anyone you’re meeting for a date, interviewing with for a job, or researching in general. When you search your own name, what comes up? What do you think when you’re searching for someone and they have a private page? Do you ever click on a few links to see professional stuff from LinkedIn, and then some social pages to see what else you learn? So does everyone else.
Use your social pages to put forward a version of you that shows who you are, shows some interests true to yourself, makes you seem like a totally normal and reliable person (which is exactly what any potential date, partner, fellowship director or hiring manager is asking themselves about you) and doesn’t share enough information to let a patient show up at your door.
Medicine lags behind other industries with people still commonly hiding behind private pages. In the tech world, it’s more strange to not have a public page. A private page says more about you that you might want to hide red flags whereas a public page says “go ahead and look, you won’t find any red flags”. One is much more powerful than the other.

Closing and something to read

When you view your professional life, it’s natural to view your professional relationships as being a binary one between patient and physician. That’s certainly essential and certainly important, but as a professional you now have relationships to consider with so many more types of people: co-residents, faculty in your department, faculty in other departments, administrators, support staff, medical students, and so on.
Just as you had to learn how to work with patients, you will have to learn to work with all of the other people in your professional life. Truly effective professionals will treat all interactions importantly and give thought and consideration to each one. All these interactions and relationships will all affect your day-to-day experience, your well-being and, ultimately, your professional experience.
You will find yourself being not just responsible for your patients, but also for yourself, your career and your relationships. It takes effort to succeed in all of those areas. And even with effort, sometimes you’ll be winning in an area and losing in others. And in a few months it will be different -- that’s just life.
I want you to consider looking outside of books and resources written specifically for physicians when you’re trying to tackle these issues inside the hospital and out.
Medicine is a much-smaller-than-you-realize bubble with a long history of personality-driven examples of “that’s just the way we do it” or “that’s how we’ve always done it”. There are good books about medicine out there, to be sure, but you’ll benefit more professionally by learning from the wide world outside of hospitals since there are quite simply many more successful and accomplished people who’ve written great resources for all aspects of professional life that medicine tends to ignore.
I’d recommend you start with this book: Andy Grove’s High Output Management (a review by another Valley titan here). Andy escaped communist Hungary, taught himself English and rose to be CEO of Intel and went on to be a sage of Silicon Valley before he passed. This book is a how-to guide for how to be an effective professional in an organization (hint: you're now a professional in an organization) and if you’ve enjoyed this post at all, you’ll love this book. You may think that this book applies to ‘managers’ and ‘business’ and not medicine but you couldn’t be more wrong. Although it was probably written around the time you were born, nearly everything in this book is a lesson that directly applies to your professional life in medicine and when you start seeing it, you’ll feel like you’re in The Matrix.
Congratulations! You've worked hard to get here. Be proud of yourself, your degree, your long white coat and be the best doctor you can be.

Hi everyone – this is a follow-up to a post I made about a month ago, asking if anyone would be interested in the details of my then-upcoming top surgery. I’m officially post-op now (five days!) and working on a ridiculously detailed writeup. This is the first part, which goes right up until the surgery itself. I’m going to wait a few more days to do the post-op one so that I can go up to the process of getting the drains out. Feel free to skip to the end to get to the salient info, and to comment with any questions about stuff I might have left out!
So, without further ado, how I got here:
First the basics. I'm 31 years old. I live in Maryland. I'm five feet tall and weigh around ninety pounds, give or take a couple in either direction. My chest measurement before surgery was about 28 inches, and about 26 "underbust." I've never been on testosterone or puberty blockers. I've never really had to wear a binder, and avoided it because I knew that I had to be gentle with that tissue if I wanted the results that I'd really hoped were possible. Keep this in mind - I'm hardly an average representation of anything, so my experience is most likely atypical in a lot of ways. But I'm hoping the overall information could be helpful.
I came out when I was 25, though I'd known since high school. Top surgery was on my radar, but trans stuff was on the fringe then - I read a lot of "butch lesbian who got top surgery" blogs, which was the only thing that made it seem possible for me, though the thought of paying for it (I was overestimating the cost by almost double, and too scared to actually look it up) seemed unthinkable. I didn't know about anything but double incision surgery, which was pretty horrifying to me. So I put the thought out of my mind for almost ten years.
When I aged out of my parents' insurance and got my own, most plans had a line specifying that they did not cover anything meant to "alter the patient's physical sex," or something to that effect. This changed a few years ago, but at the time I didn't qualify for sick leave at work, and I was still paying off my student loans. Along the way things progressed - I started using a new name, then changed it legally, and then my state started allowing "unspecified" gender markers on driver's licenses. I paid off my loans and saved some money, without acknowledging to myself what I was saving it for. And then I got a letter at work, informing me that they were now required to provide medical leave for anyone working over 15 hours weekly. And suddenly a lot of things came together, fast.
My mom has always been supportive of me, but she was not very happy to hear about this. After talking it over a lot, we ended up going together to a therapist who worked with both trans people and families - incidentally, our therapist was also nonbinary, and we had to take a break in our visits while they recovered from their own top surgery. We visited them a few times over a few months, and they suggested that I at least look into getting my surgery covered by insurance, and directed me toward the Johns Hopkins Center for Transgender Health. I had done research on several of the big names in top surgery, particularly those who do a lot of peri-areolar surgeries - I was very not into the idea of double incision, and knew that, while I was not the seventeen-year-old kid on T who's a sure thing for peri, I had a chance. But getting it covered would make the financial hit more bearable.
I did some research on insurance coverage. When it came time to renew my Medicaid coverage, I switched to an MCO that had a history of working with Johns Hopkins. I contacted them about finding a therapist to write a letter for me, and about getting a consultation - I expected to have a long wait to meet with Dr. Devin O'Brien-Coon, but they suggested that I come in much earlier and meet with Dr. Benny Tan, who had only recently come to work at the Hopkins center, so I got my letter and scheduled my appointment with him.
Dr. Tan had just started at the JH center when I had my consultation with him, and while he had a lot of previous experience doing breast cancer mastectomies, he was clearly a lot less familiar with top surgery. He was adamant that I was ineligible for peri-areolar surgery, and would have to have double incision. He seemed to have some weird misconceptions about the details - at one point he said that no one ever regains any nipple sensation after surgery (???), and when I mentioned the concept of the eventual shape of my chest being somewhat dependent on how much muscle I can develop through exercise he sort of laughed and said, "Well, maybe if you decide to become a bodybuilder." When I asked if I could see post-op pictures of some of the previous procedures the center had done, I was told no, that Dr. O'Brien-Coon didn't want to suggest that there was any guarantee of a specific kind of results. He seemed like a nice guy. He answered the questions I had, and my mom's. But I did not feel good about this.
At the same time, I was trying fruitlessly to get any information at all about whether I would, in fact, be able to get this covered by insurance. I won't go into the boring details of one million phone transfers, but after several days the question was resolved: because the insurance required a previous twelve-month period of hormone replacement therapy, I was out of luck. At this point I wasn't even upset - it just made it clearer that my original plan was what I was going to go with.
Finally, I paid $100 to have a consultation with Dr. Beverly Fischer in Lutherville. Dr. Fischer was one of the surgeons I'd been researching from the beginning - she's been performing surgeries since the 90s, including a lot of peri-areolar surgeries, and she also is the most local of the surgeons I'd looked into. I'd seen pictures online that people had posted of her work on people with body types very much like mine, and I was impressed. Dr. Fischer doesn't take any insurance (you can try to go through a process on your own afterward, and perhaps get at least a partial reimbursement from your insurance, but that's up to them), but I had the money saved, and I felt it was a fair trade to have a greater level of control over the experience.
Since Dr. Fischer has her own small facility, the consultation was very smooth and low-key. Again, my mom went with me (this was right before covid started, but even now she allows one visitor to come with a patient). She looked me over and assured me that I was definitely a candidate for peri (they all say "keyhole" there, which confused me, but I'm going to keep saying peri, by which I mean full circular incisions around the areola). We were given a breakdown of the cost ($9,700) and shown into a little room where they gave us a binder of pre- and post-op photos to look at. Again, her work is very impressive - my mom, who was not familiar with the different styles of surgery, was reassured that they did not look as scarred up as she was probably expecting. This was a much better experience than I had at Hopkins, enough to convince me.
Then the pandemic hit! Needless to say, things were on hold for a while.
The library I work at was closed for over two months. In June, we started working again, but with a very minimal schedule. I'd been doing almost double my baseline hours by filling in for vacant positions, but now I was working fifteen hours per week maximum, meaning I didn't lose any substitute pay for taking sick leave. So I called Dr. Fischer's office and made the soonest appointment I could, for September 16th. I made a 10% payment over the phone ($970) and scheduled my appointments for three weeks prior to surgery.
Three weeks before surgery:
I went to Dr. Fischer's office for my pre-op appointment. Because I'd already been measured during my consultation, this was mostly a lot of information and question-and-answer sessions with their surgical coordinator Shannon. My mom came with me (all of us wore masks, and we had temperature checks when we came in, as well as standard "have you had any covid symptoms or been out of state" worksheets to fill out).
Shannon brought out a set of the drains and showed us how they'd work (they are still stuck in me at the time of this writing, so I'm trying not to think about it too much!), and gave me a folder of pre- and post-op information, plus the sheet to give to my primary care doctor when I went to get my bloodwork done. The instructions were pretty standard - try to eat a lot of protein in the weeks before and after surgery (raises your red blood cell count so you recover faster), get up and walk around on the first day (helps the anesthesia junk work its way out of your body), don't lie on your back eating applesauce the whole time (you're not going to hurt yourself, live your life, just be gentle). Mentioned, but for some reason not included on the printed sheet: there's a one-day-post-op appointment the morning after, just to check everything out - this means that AFTER your surgery you shouldn't eat or drink after midnight, and through the morning, just in case there's an unexpected need to put you under to correct anything.
I brought them a check for the remainder of my payment - $8,730. As weird as it seems, seeing the money actually come out of my bank account didn't bother me at all. I'd saved that money with this in mind, so it seemed natural to finally use it.
They also gave me a stack of four prescriptions, which I filled on the way home: One pre-op anti-nausea pill, one pre-op Xanax, several post-op pain pills (hydrocodone and acetaminophen) and several post-op anti-nausea pills. Fortunately this was covered by my insurance, because I sure did NOT need all of these.
I went within the week to get the required physical and bloodwork at my regular doctor's office, and just handed them the sheet that said what results needed to be sent to Dr. Fischer. Apparently there was some kind of faxing error and I didn't find out for a couple weeks that they hadn't gotten the results, but that was fixed by some relatively simple phone calls. I'd recommend calling a week after the blood test to confirm that they've received everything.
I put in a request for six days off work - starting and ending on a Wednesday, with a normal weekend between. They usually recommend ten days, but I have a very low-activity job and only work short shifts, so they agreed that eight days would be fine. This is another factor that might have been different if I had been getting double-incision surgery, which I've heard can take a few more days of recovery.
Some days later, I got a call saying that the anesthesiologist wouldn't be able to be in on the Wednesday I was scheduled for. I was all set to move everything forward by a chunk of time when they clarified that no, they wanted me to come in one day earlier. Well, okay then. I added a Tuesday to my leave. I am told that I will need to get an "excuse note" to take back when I return to work, which I haven't asked for yet, but will probably get at my one-week-after appointment.
A few days before surgery:
This is the time to get things in order wherever you'll be staying. Of course you can't prepare for everything, but I did as much laundry as I could, made sure I had plenty of prepared food in the house, checked out a ton of books and DVDs from the library. Trimmed my hair and nails. Note that you are required to shave your armpits so the tape doesn't stick to them when they bandage you up - if you're not used to this, I recommend doing it a couple days in advance, because it's a Bad Time.
Night before surgery:
I got the usual confirmation call from them the Monday before my surgery date. I got everything together (medication. Sweatpants, button-up shirt, socks, slip-on shoes, COTTON underwear, which is the only kind you may wear in surgery. The folder of information. My old ipod and headphones). I went to bed relatively early as I knew I was going to be up early, though it might have been better to stay up and have a late snack before the midnight deadline.
Day of surgery:
September 15th - my surgery was scheduled for 9:30, and my arrival at 8:30. I was told to shower and wash my hair, to only use antibacterial soap (we had the Dial orange bar) for my body. I used baby shampoo on my hair, because I wanted something that wouldn't leave any weird residue, since I knew I wouldn't be able to wash it again for some days. Deodorant is allowed, but no lotion. Brushed my teeth. No food, no drink, no chewing gum.
I went to the surgery center with both my parents, but right now they're specifying only one guest per patient, so only my mom came in. There's a little retirement community and some stores around, so they had somewhere to hang out while they waited. I left my mom's phone number with them on a post-it so they could call her when they needed to come back for me.
I took my bag and went into one of the patient rooms, where I was given this hilariously large toga-looking thing to change into. I gave them my bag of meds, and they came back with a tiny bit of water for me to swallow the Xanax. The anti-nausea one dissolves in your mouth and tastes like strawberry mentos.
In a little tiny room with a ring light, they took a series of pictures of me from ribs to neck, at straight-on, side, and three-quarter views. Later I looked back at a computer screen and saw these pictures and briefly thought "who the hell's that?" Not that I'd had any doubts before that I was making the right decision, but that made it pretty clear.
Dr. Fischer came in after that, and drew about three dashed lines on my chest. My assumption is that these were so that when my skin shifted while I was lying down, she would be able to see what parts corresponded to where when I was upright. I asked briefly about what kind of resizing she would do around my nipples, which are very slightly asymmetrical, and she said that she uses a kind of template that would make them turn out a bit smaller, and, yes, the same size.
The anesthesiologist came in to give me the rundown on what would happen when I was taken into the operating room. I would put on a hairnet, I would get an IV that would put me out, then a mask of gas to keep me unconscious. A small tube would be put in the back of my throat to keep my airway open, and might give me a sore throat for a couple days after (spoiler: it did, but it wasn't too bad). Some kind of contraption of sleeves would periodically squeeze my legs to promote blood flow. All fairly standard, probably.
So they let my mom come in and hug me, and I said, "see you soon!" and they walked me back.
Sorry for the huge cliffhanger, but this thing is way longer than I thought! I'll be back with the post-op section in a few days, ok? And definitely comment any questions you might have. Recovery is boring.
TLDR:

• Total cost was $9,700, which was not covered by insurance, but depending on your provider it's possible to get reimbursed afterward for at least part of the cost.
• Check with your insurance about getting coverage. Be persistent. They might have weird requirements that knock you out of the running, but it's worth seeing what options are available to you.
• I had a copy of my therapist's letter sent to the surgeon before the procedure
• Three weeks before surgery, there's a physical and bloodwork that has to be done by your primary care doctor, and the results faxed to the surgeon. I'd recommend calling both parties to confirm that the documents were both sent and received.
• You'll need to be off work for at least a week, and more likely ten days, so plan for that.
• Make sure everything you need is really accessible before you get back. If the cabinets are higher than your shoulders, put the dishes on the counter. It's like anti-baby-safing your house.
• You definitely need someone to drive you to and from surgery, and I really, really recommend having someone you trust to stay home with you. Somebody asked about this in my previous post, and here's my updated answer: while you could technically be by yourself most days after the first, I really would not recommend it.
• The night before, you must stop eating and drinking before midnight, but you might want to have a late snack if your surgery is later in the morning like mine was. I did not take this advice and I probably should have.
• The day of surgery, no food or drink in the morning. Shower, wash your hair, and use antibacterial soap on your body. You can wear deodorant but no lotion. Shave your armpits if you haven't already. Brush your teeth. They will call you the day before and let you know exactly when you need to get there.
• Stuff to have with you: Clothes that somebody else can put on you, including a shirt that opens in the front. Sweatpants are great. A skirt would probably be even better. The bag of pills they prescribed to you, plus any other meds you take normally (I brought my inhaler, but didn't need to use it). Just give them the meds and they handle giving you anything you need while you're there. A snack in case you have to take the pain meds on the way home.
• Don't panic! People do this all the time, and the doctors know what they are doing. It's a lot of faith to put in someone you don't really know, but they want to do the best job they can.

Good luck to everybody reading this! I am feeling good. My recovery's been great so far and I'll go into more detail when I come back for the next part of this.

this should be 10 thousand words

nuance inn abundant dough firefighter crutch separate impress thank appointment pure cunning tiptoe win pedestrian routine evening sunrise alarm period pole sculpture raise architecture authorise fire nest want remunerate flawed restaurant pen soar intensify nature country atmosphere lock nonremittal doubt category obese wing seal aunt withdraw flock score father champion outlet suspect painter explain treatment first-hand feminine radiation go disco game frozen pigeon lodge contrary telephone relinquish feast pilot road policy curriculum hour tension sharp recovery resignation explode snub solve cotton face branch vein complain government jungle see spare grant experience ground appreciate portion food husband adoption capital journal gravel brag projection praise equation surround salt screen welcome settlement volcano federation thirsty basic clash tread twist sodium settle thick agency snatch display look belong ignorant eject folk highway march charismatic review industry chord secure visual ideal flush block height horizon wrist glass leaf detail attractive coat pause instal convenience flat white van jaw advertising steam artist theft recommendation care define program engineer requirement knife award survivor soldier standard disgrace sick pottery escape hotdog vegetarian tourist veil quiet class straw innocent essay calendar compose parallel burn bat holiday spider decorative viable dome glance bold soft belly raid slow extraterrestrial spill undertake cross egg particular acceptable flour leash spell factor cafe offender establish assault faithful domestic gas pedal privacy court wisecrack insert bill jam sector record giant gown hardship expertise gift south tight lost restoration filter pasture aquarium hobby view sail obligation majority appear fate top curtain inhibition album conception wriggle cute announcement corpse rob sin hard leader association horoscope wind weed pledge recruit jockey imperial enjoy credit scream equip unfair vote applaud sour retired haircut exaggerate glove circle passive bathroom encourage substitute investigation flash count assignment medicine ecstasy sting elephant executive teacher mild return pop radio penalty referee vigorous carpet read graze domination pneumonia reject affair makeup deck director restless troop definite replace absence guilt tell reduce concede sugar predator withdrawal offense satisfied normal relation level feature sleep blade dignity redeem fuel courtesy cooperate tired attack age bar consumption current dream rush card hospital seat reception origin pie crossing retreat deny handy tie condition letter charge doctor demonstrate ally salesperson threshold packet driver earthflax toll relationship match crop secretary model pan mushroom able decisive tire college allowance dentist angle pleasant mouth oppose rebellion cooperation revolutionary advocate ignore excess sword system positive plead functional chin drop criminal wire imposter lobby proud alive realism avenue clearance confuse scale direction fraction conversation sight straighten desk motivation taste reasonable gradient lesson production revival river panel entertainment reputation marriage butterfly foreigner finger tax trunk ethnic mistreat blue floor patient democratic beautiful short orientation omission charter ostracize just testify death suffer overeat proposal physics drug constituency addition edge development morale strikebreaker facility document wonder pin activate bronze sandwich surface matter ballet article high report health cheat modernize lip bargain hole understand tin ferry generation action notion theory unrest established prescription glory spirit worry communist goal cart disappoint convulsion stuff relax friend essential infection harass prison astonishing monopoly rumor relieve admiration king verdict take cattle node charm exception bounce camp heroin generate damage social tip motorcycle dine push undress club vain maze drum file invasion fish copper fool around beef wake differ presence art illness valid wear out hold stitch afford agriculture bless enhance computer virus pudding deter shower laborer include spite advantage administration harm slam eaux ambition noise official sex epicalyx policeman autonomy right wing firm cheek consumer format tree despise introduce century beach opponent sensation decoration tile singer admire pity manual governor selection restrain cage apple god yearn clock bundle composer reign sweep cream vegetation break in correspond consensus honor clerk minor gradual rain orbit trade basketball fee gap squash patience knowledge shatter character dimension wrestle pioneer motorist exposure microphone franchise protection voice goalkeeper drain fling indoor conscious password embrace root irony census convict user clinic major bend limited participate attachment cancel bolt strategic formal ratio form resist pollution perfume tidy twin radical monk funeral sheet shiver rock novel assumption trick fist relative continental hostile refund coin discount shot breathe brain fisherman banquet bind cottage charity shed mobile sensitivity ensure satisfaction economics ignite petty add captain course scene sigh registration despair sock coincidence responsibility trait bread linger scandal supplementary implication seller surprise rebel opposed penetrate matrix banner grandmother auction creation precision stable note hunting ask dedicate rehearsal portrait analysis revise employ boom entitlement request sketch virus expenditure workshop bomber panic steward stick violation monster constitution skip fit mind aluminium safety excavation learn hypothesis sun spray context lie shy iron diamond native healthy directory tolerant exclusive observer village concrete hand reduction drill general far reactor abridge ballot overall explicit claim mail carrier bedroom research designer terrace devote aware survey state create rank teach snarl run incentive shave school distance sum interface auditor exit sacred locate decrease triangle bag stain weapon north potential traction quaint put deficit modest ice arrow population terrify institution liability superintendent costume priority pillow tendency faint practical dressing shelter grain climb arrangement remember hilarious wrong gun right series collection dictate helpless girlfriend researcher cool runner outer confidence initiative proof menu senior title pattern address soup oak pierce whip hall script credit card mood waist contract congress lack accurate term miracle bulletin enlarge approve teenager shoot dorm deputy kid childish rational gravity frighten weigh analyst thaw economic flood plug football cable comfortable rainbow finished coach compromise publish terminal remain breakfast uncle fox print unlikely peel folklore fruit crash jealous green button unfortunate hero knit warm mountain manage pick accountant fever part global summit swear emphasis concession prevalence breed inspire producer dealer work out pat member depend prosecution affect layout combine gallon flag timber arrogant company symptom mathematics reporter order bloody slump demonstrator authority truth recognize field reward debate station cow likely ambiguous hen wheel underline interference ghost clay area item earwax discriminate shake credibility confine reference single strap pour draw looting home suggest freshman prince instruction rotten liver civilization battlefield cell phone scholar texture bacon hemisphere echo quarter fun pass deviation sustain dive value fill pump bottom soprano attention strip inspiration specimen chance election absorb mosaic deal popular dinner training remedy cinema coffin circulation continuation trust mislead artificial basin calculation legislation impact party pig smart moving index elect variation stumble hardware image notorious grand aloof cupboard transform dip computer chop cry plant retain horror safari rubbish affinity hill behave tactic air wage ribbon poem freight mainstream mixture active cucumber conscience lane dish overcharge beginning quotation office loss stubborn applied romantic pay recommend poetry rare number strict diameter slip earthquake license swarm receipt wear knock day whisper era shift train angel mask offspring demonstration drawing express greet serious justice amputate ignorance grace due embarrassment kitchen valley thesis partner tempt jurisdiction rugby live stem balance friendly width council ancestor cook athlete concert snap reckless psychology square prospect prediction video access retire endorse enter birthday herd proper dozen trainer evolution expectation weakness sign union thin frame total welfare tender mutter child consider peace bubble shadow paper enthusiasm temporary owe obscure brush lend posture lead flexible default black strong dynamic vessel minimize pony mark jelly deliver preference tear mass exemption crouch pumpkin empire serve declaration plan excitement interrupt acquisition mole ritual liberal secretion grass folk music stun peak dairy storm beard nose nonsense graduate instinct dog buffet student bush extreme variety meal representative window lamb hell behavior pound thread preoccupation guitar tool platform plaintiff navy begin nursery predict slant hypnothize fragrant officer revenge toss pipe palace satellite dare tone tycoon back harvest berry vat cancer betray hope drawer bare even module overwhelm reform knee invisible disposition lift candidate provincial throne witch stall resolution promote qualify tune deprivation liberty have jacket rabbit disagree whole cycle way sister body customer question silence fear give mourning smoke error groan contact useful trench topple payment fool joint dark trolley gasp anxiety hurl communication skate slice ash suite assessment fantasy boat throat adjust momentum sympathetic shop pit store lover stamp reconcile false jewel vertical breakdown AIDS abandon pluck family rhythm environmental mile appetite show tower attract attic wheat last countryside minimum residence retiree extort tongue spring interactive glimpse possibility tablet extinct gloom principle past paradox old dull apathy isolation sea advertise abbey recession galaxy main fan asset deer headquarters medieval urge reader eliminate freckle restrict carbon refrigerator protest classify approval stress split option acquaintance cover accent kick rub sell jury exempt disappear act clothes justify reluctance winner exploit guideline youth tube conventional horseshoe danger citizen increase brake stage monkey parameter key profound repetition brand detector variable short circuit shout map zone ministry mutual die organize wording text random minority moment link book trouble patch challenge spontaneous offset steak roll sticky foot perform accessible sheep close sniff final rest cheque objective multiply regular mosquito fashion follow throw discovery fork threaten study memorandum nationalist beer TRUE concentration illusion fare revolution bald opinion chimpanzee catch marine crusade practice disturbance chapter wine plane glare deficiency invite bury hair competition bow say lung truck anger cower clean leave constellation soul sample pray tenant element kidnap woman insight control heavy electron depression banana professional latest trend housing pull prove borrow stroll brave integration scatter helmet temple movie Mars qualified ice cream dragon embryo realize quantity roar net risk corn grip failure illustrate gene housewife silk recover memorial sweater channel feminist crude freighter appeal interest convince bride career sport twitch nuclear clarify excuse wrap work toast slide metal still distant reproduce blue jean ideology resident left slap heaven earthwax facade color-blind occupy stretch background flourish glacier stadium moral broken shark defendant fold rich inappropriate possible skeleton boot combination suspicion reason protect ruin junior budge characteristic brown feather arrange large history lid monstrous onion island civilian peasant oil rung linen cemetery listen hot departure dictionary critic spin plot frequency assembly blast clique variant oral harmony miserable favour audience technique dry virtue lonely professor margin law science loose president tease pace employee hook software sausage trial deprive difference superior curl ditch favourite treaty eat courtship slime appendix nomination halt legend injury poll package exact rally mechanical integrity traffic red punch slab comprehensive gaffe bark diplomat tick reflect difficulty sunshine marsh contradiction ban separation shallow debut dominant relevance recycle host bait elbow notebook like hover fairy keep east tragedy sow rifle fund rocket dilemma talk simplicity infect technology stop refer allocation method coast smell accumulation attitude cap cruel cabin vague crime fine planet contemporary wife harmful presentation discourage crisis victory extent captivate guerrilla primary tract racism list lump accept corner gear guard divorce band broccoli stake kneel inch reinforce inspector permission bay unique chemistry soil ample coma gesture homosexual approach post screw cope enfix flow ball mother make economist musical shelf switch agenda parking owner pool ivory twilight clue rate tense temptation hostility unity inject beg magnetic dismiss means new incident pavement impound sleeve heel ready solo compete premium ghostwriter ward effort unlike culture colleague fiction lunch security delicate case honest flower arrest spectrum arena size other colon spit porter punish horse structure highlight pension nightmare admission profession species average depart fax reverse barrel stimulation brick tournament prosecute awful cigarette jail torch landscape name compact watch empirical curve hierarchy strain alcohol problem fashionable lineage speed smile density intermediate collar freedom hiccup cabinet base city happen sphere seed war operational sink rough help person figure retailer plain pawn master magazine budget deadly castle fair salvation chest wealth glide neighbour contraction joystick presidential narrow agony fog write permanent rage orgy execute dependence prize dose chalk axis range indication cut dominate share environment provoke personal absorption investment call celebration move vision chocolate disaster taxi strange mayor incongruous lighter chew mist tank surgeon redundancy ceremony coerce lecture adopt dismissal crowd tradition raw medal proclaim save economy cooperative sense midnight slippery familiar headline favorable cereal leg delivery rotation introduction skilled excavate offensive cluster feedback visit financial loop mail destruction upset content rib frog hike trustee manufacturer landowner scramble orthodox splurge inhabitant fortune peanut arise original issue theater stunning finance feel nut norm develop insist degree mess heir depressed nap shell abstract annual chaos community lease safe difficult belief commerce tape licence accident support descent sand revive elaborate miscarriage ant ride sound meeting habitat exclude architect meat promotion salon absolute describe lick real exile point public brother casualty export continuous precede publisher immune section champagne use calf tail qualification suburb referral scan measure first passage kettle worth elegant fix fibre limit voyage implicit spy poor speech good full demand grow transparent subway ex cave drift player opposition expect summary voter jump precedent small handicap feeling register trance eagle bloodshed venture adult uniform burst color gold force strike chorus explosion seem orchestra embark quit merchant stand crevice pier systematic acute studio discrimination sensitive sulphur experienced source radiation sickness dribble calm advice retirement coincide stomach chain grateful patent unit extract resort contain mosque division basket free bother spot result Venus tissue hip page forecast abuse meaning coup resign confusion absent hallway border wild feed bland catalogue produce farewell neglect desire break fly fresh cold spokesperson project distortion replacement fast fireplace indirect conflict Bible hunter instrument price maid reliable lot mean engagement example rider long coalition convention tropical chart heat swing lily snail boy engine log conservation swell garbage fall buy impulse improve widen sailor hostage exhibition influence deep situation exceed repeat exercise royalty bowel acceptance pair Koran eye printer stock fossil formula loan expansion smash strength dress route reproduction publicity philosophy delete slogan information preparation glow row argument nun X-ray pastel transaction shock pack horn think arch evaluate management profit reservoir burial easy winter rescue rape graphic passion shareholder adventure need elapse scenario touch young patrol miner choke carve forest district pursuit ridge emotion assume education vehicle expand egg white torture answer seek regard abortion secular gossip railroad press stereotype carrot inflate flu siege path girl fight pepper dirty oven advance consultation decline myth extend coverage socialist crackpot crew robot confession table effect mix judge conservative tough thigh bite decay barrier fur gain waiter execution kidney remark stride pest cathedral constitutional recording unlawful capture west string hypothesize pitch storage session cellar second bitch grounds urgency overview cause craft spend mature piano constraint bracket proportion mercy role suppress pressure energy parade dialogue dangerous flesh wagon determine scratch self concept sickness personality favor battery foundation leadership television lake huge bucket release skin literature chauvinist conceive rear cutting consciousness emergency regulation shorts treasurer agree morning deteriorate genetic volunteer admit star accompany judgment hit agile copy fragment zero plagiarize test activity powder calorie benefit divide relief distort different habit provide fat mine grind adviser spoil productive soap progressive courage seasonal noble displace length dead house deposit salad banish linear fence provision shortage tiger end gregarious swallow sweat solid comment glasses anniversary machinery quest layer lemon necklace camera breast promise glue society ladder change laser compensation will bulb choose snow correction well competence line room draft contempt econobox crystal manner damn discuss meadow organ performance pardon innovation subject fail wardrobe conductor staff trip shame incapable harsh install pot eyebrow publication muggy riot reveal unaware respect seminar blackmail ear shoulder labour improvement wolf wreck physical drink round swim date forge half feign imagine love temperature consolidate launch flight memory needle bee lay murder trap try worker canvas intervention trouser kit infinite reality scheme decade transfer Europe preach understanding flatware human body donor night candle minister herb core hurt exploration warn vegetable eavesdrop fraud detective digress bishop theorist collect houseplant conviction eternal sermon movement mud syndrome gas warning extension ranch cater power addicted negligence beam estimate race yard miss check fastidious defeat cat battle kinship relate acquit snack stream commitment distributor duty penny snuggle ordinary ambiguity mold falsify suntan rule reliance volume speculate survival summer guarantee bus lose tray statement sentence incredible trivial buttocks apology correspondence dawn blank fascinate wander double particle struggle committee response bang negative ton hay market insure unpleasant cast scrape ethics archive insurance word revoke bell weave spread bathtub assertive stool open loot biology bullet concentrate diet thought shaft denial crosswalk wall waterfall haunt compartment treat cousin product fame anticipation creep opera operation funny loyalty version tribute cash disappointment design comfort achievement tribe classroom coffee function heart tasty cultivate ticket chicken gate baseball hammer initial integrated perfect cake orange leak defend middle achieve purpose prejudice conglomerate year old age velvet circulate intelligence judicial wilderness silver low can future waste biography import bike hear cup stay ego elite meet film squeeze dividend space neck consideration world brainstorm garage ring mouse partnership basis bench wedding biscuit discipline museum abnormal bake transmission estate dollar voucher cultural fuss killer drown merit fluctuation sacrifice cane available equal perforate confront tent clear fitness bond mystery literacy piece arm definition cord thumb digital marathon load asylum notice pile monarch sweet helicopter fade compound related bed property tap chip laboratory uncertainty talented queen drive front morsel endure reserve choice lion entertain hate greeting grudge lounge forward late spine threat ankle distribute custody wave disclose man criticism dilute utter know trace message responsible gem application mastermind bad doll daughter witness wood water enemy agent steel shine lace intention entry timetable week blonde coal quality missile great formation guest turn decide distinct offer position knot object language tumour staircase commemorate leaflet negotiation aisle corruption photocopy occasion delay obstacle pleasure fleet remind outlook lamp jet terms outline transition moon possession season unanimous conclusion prosper pyramid prayer censorship aspect foster visible job medium track team misplace respectable complex thrust urine inflation polish float warrant queue prevent drag faith walk computing joke identification creed land therapist money board reflection appoint writer plastic marble sentiment shape straight translate collapse carry pain occupation drama deport hang play chair multimedia exchange amber lawyer disability cheese column reptile complete poison critical insistence cylinder quote dialect conspiracy weight misery closed genuine bank common rise private dump magnitude certain aviation thanks church bet grimace veteran craftsman golf relaxation observation amuse mechanism sequence animal network deserve place jest frank garlic rotate seize lifestyle prisoner chimney discover aid premature disk diagram salmon counter constant carriage formulate car willpower appearance material nationalism represent supply beneficiary flavor manufacture please tooth bring head suitcase mill trail photograph opposite similar plaster steep manager time offend equinox theme hide legislature cherry hesitate nervous blow news freeze turkey infrastructure outside contribution neutral scrap undermine reaction refuse lazy behead factory stroke baby discreet bear regret perceive effective nominate cell brilliance sip electronics mutation picture thoughtful executrix bird bomb desert disagreement privilege bleed duke hut umbrella grave pocket fabricate speaker belt fault finish paint wait find slave growth suit nerve tolerate prestige contrast copyright comedy pupil paralyzed prefer present academy cheap sanctuary photography roof ceiling cruelty joy Sunday commission crown sit swop pride mug stir owl examination nail virgin attraction worm inside leftovers injection inquiry articulate agreement expose braid swipe construct command kill minute apparatus paragraph get episode dance vacuum prey light bean snake gallery palm grief business center shrink efflux build climate marketing quota rack organisation flex rehabilitation overlook colorful complication disorder site account concern avant-garde army bitter compliance national reach outfit performer migration transport mirror hospitality abolish wash process forum rent embox debt direct blame humanity confrontation persist door perception wound output breeze guide grandfather neighborhood solution forbid sofa quarrel set month code building service index finger presidency fixture chief symbol identity convert gutter loud weak allow broadcast laundry litigation rhetoric break down mention dash style connection park pill talkative location sale tumble important evoke bottle heal start humor smooth couple central suffering brink duck profile campaign muscle cassette circumstance thinker stab forestry chase idea blind colony dramatic rice acid experiment indulge side fountain crack lean expression goat beat bin frown slot update diplomatic railcar percent guess harbor story motif soak edition parachute progress step maximum conference polite bridge resource automatic few forget exotic 

(Something a little old school that I promised to write up here a while ago).
Introduction: The Story of Individual Ships
In the Eve of 2018, a single ship - even a Titan - is a somewhat transient thing. Having over five hundred Titans on grid is now a very real sight in New Eden and having five hundred Faction Battleships on field (especially Machariels) was a watershed moment that is itself already fading into old history.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with this. If Eve didn't change and force us to constantly adapt then the past would have no meaning and this would all be just like any other canned game experience - just an unchanging fast food menu to drop in or out of, as one pleased.
But for the purpose of this story I'm going to wind the clock back to 2005/2006, when Eve narratives revolved around not just players, alliances or doctrines but even around actual specific ships. There was an era before even 2005, of course, where the 'ship narrative' was even more acute: after they joined Rooks and Kings I remember conversations with ex-m0o members like Lord Zap or Agent Xer0 where they vividly related the power of having one of the first cruisers and then one of the first battleships in Eve, in 2003.
By 2005-2006, there were a good number of famous ships in Eve. Many of their stories are lost to us today, buried in a sort of Virtual Antiquity of secondary sources and jarring white-on-black archived forum text (looking at you, old Eve-O). Two specific hull types tended to capture the imagination in this regard: 1) Faction (or pirate) Battleships and 2) Motherships.
For example, April 2006 saw the launch of Hera, the Nyx Mothership of The Establishment, flown by Rawthorm via his alt Ign0raMus. Remember that Supercarriers were once Motherships - different bonuses and a different role but immensely prestigious beasts in their day. Rawthorm himself was a brilliant pilot with both a sixth sense for danger and a cleverly unpredictable willingness to aggressively throw Hera into the fray (a tendency I was reminded of years later when he decided to fit a rainbow mix of Officer Smartbombs for a Pipebombing operation).
This was also the era when Farjung assaulted gate camps with his Vindicator. Meanwhile, in the South, there was a famous Rattlesnake which caused havoc until finally being destroyed by a Mothership. For once, my records fail me in regard to the name of both the Rattlesnake and the pilot. I have the details saved somewhere but it'll require sifting through the archives. The Mothership that destroyed it may in fact have been the Hel flown by Velios of M Corp. At any rate, the oft-repeated theme of that era was that the Faction Battleship was the apex predator until a cyno lit and a Capital, or if need be a Mothership, arrived. This dynamic is also important to our story here and the events that will transpire.
By 2007/2008, famous "ships" were transitioning into what was really a famous 'fit' for a ship. For example, Cown would fly around in a Slave-set battleship and include the results in his videos. But there could be many of his Abaddons that lived and died in the given story. The same was true about my own videos, which began in that period. I documented battles and campaigns and when it came to the tools of how those battles were fought, I followed the narrative of tactics, doctrines, fits and meta-weapons. I rarely concerned myself with the story of a specific, individual ship as opposed to the fitting for a type of ship. With the exception of the early Titans, much of Eve came to take the same approach when thinking about ships. When people referred to the Alazais triage carrier, they soon came to mean my fit rather than a specific hull that wintered in a specific station each night. It's an inevitable shift of emphasis given the evolution of the Eve economy, the growing of numbers players and so on.
Yet there was a time when some people's pride and joy was often a specific, individual ship. 'When it dies, I quit'. I know this mantra to be true because whilst still playing Counter Strike I ran into someone who told me about the friends they made in Eve, the little Corporation community they became a part of, the ship they helped him farm for... "and then someone killed my ship and I quit".
Wow, I thought. Now that's a game - your entire virtual life (which itself seemed an exotic concept to me) can be gone in an instant of space gunfire or a momentary lapse of judgement. I instantly wanted to play it.
And that's where we're going.
Life On The Wrong Side of the Tracks
So it's the Winter of 2005/2006. I'd just started Eve and ended up in the Great Wildlands, living out of a POS in 4M-P (which had to be taken down nightly, to reduce the risk of discovery). The area at the time was controlled by Veritas Immortalis and Lodka Volterra (-V- and LV, respectively).
Having come from FPS games (with a dash of Everquest thrown in) I wasn't a stranger to PvP. However, the unique sense of threat in Eve was something new to me and the predatory ambience permeated every part of the experience. I'll never forget the odd, melancholy calm of listening to 'Below the Asteroids' whilst ratting against the backdrop of those beautifully cold, cream-coloured nebula that typified early Eve's aesthetic, only to have it all shattered by bursts of adrenaline as the hunters came to visit.
Veritas Immortalis (-V-) had a tight grip on the region and were a well regarded PvP alliance of the day. One of the few spots of local resistance was a small but regular gatecamp in 7Q-8Z2. These heretics made it their business to pick off -V- and their allies as reinforcements and supplies came through from Khabi. Sometimes -V- arrived with a defence fleet or even dropped a Cyno. Yet no matter what happened, the locals would be back the next day. They called themselves Foundation, followed a seemingly bizarre NRDS creed, believed in an improbable future revolution where all neutrals would band together against the oppressors and were led by the Afrikaans baritone of Valdor (and in US TZ by Gorgon).
How I came to meet them is a story for another day (actually that part is easy - I somewhat dramatically cyno'd Alazais' Thanatos into the middle of their 5 man camp and when they realised that the neutral carrier was here to help, Valdor had a new friend).
But I didn't know Valdor yet on the day that CptDelta from Veritas arrived in the 4M-P pipe, where I was ratting with a couple of friends. Although I'd scouted him at N-DQ station (4 jumps away) there wasn't time to take down the POS, which we'd erected to change a fitting on a Maller. Yes, the Maller was the pride and joy of our operation (here pictured testing its tank in low-sec a few weeks earlier).
CptDelta wasn't pleased with these filthy interlopers in -V- space. However, for the princely sum of 4 Million ISK a week, he was willing to grant us a 'Hunting Pass' (until I checked my logs again today, for many years I'd remembered it as 2 Million ISK but in fact when adding what was essentially a stamp duty, the good CptDelta wanted no less than 4 Million ISK).
4 Million ISK! Not only to hunted by these scoundrels but also to be fleeced by them! This was villainy on a scale I'd simply never encountered in Return to Castle Wolfenstein.
I instantly decided to take the region and institute a new regime where the denizens of New Eden would live better (a notion that later came back to haunt Foundation, since it meant that I couldn't charge more than a few million ISK toward the funding of then-massive capital fleets to defend the jackpot moons of neutrals, lest we have an Animal Farm situation on our hands).
Now, I admit, with the benefit of hindsight I should probably just have paid the 4 million ISK and got the damn Hunting Pass. But I was a fool, if a determined one, and I suppose that in a sense the war with -V- & co. and the eventual takeover of the region was essential to meeting some of the people who'd later be part of Rooks and Kings.
The gauntlet had been laid down and while looking for allies in this war, I had come to identify pockets of resistance like Valdor's camp in 7Q. However, due to their situation of being massively outgunned and outnumbered (the camp was usually less than 5 people), these rebels obviously (and wisely) relied on very replaceable ships.
I liked their methods but I also noticed how much the ruling locals (which were of course just a subset of -V- and related allies) enjoyed showing off their brand new HACs, battleships and even the odd carrier. Valdor himself always flew a battleship, true, but mostly the rebel camp was in what he disdainfully called "fluffy stuff" (T1 cruisers and frigates).
Therefore I felt something more dramatic was needed to add spice to the Great Wildlands mix.
As The Saying Goes...
At this point, I had been told not to fly what I couldn't afford to lose. However, I had now trained enough skillpoints to fly a battleship. A Battleship! Granted, I couldn't use Tech2 modules yet. But I'd noticed that Faction and Officer modules had lower requirements and were better, too.
"Don't fly what you can't afford to lose". Sure, it sounds sensible and all - but it only matters IF you lose the ship, right? Surely if a ship was built so well that it simply could not be destroyed, then such advice would be superfluous?
Of course, I realised that if hostiles leveraged enough numbers against any single ship then they probably would destroy it. The key, therefore, was to create a ship that would make unexpected sorties and strike a decisive blow to raise morale before slipping away safely into the night. Essentially, like the Bismarck. Not like anyone would one sink the Bismarck, after all.
Operation: Unkillable
In 2006 there was no EFT. Although there was a fantastic little program called Quickfit that made its debut around this time, for the most part capacitor formulas and stacking penalties were still done on old fashioned pen and paper (or Notepad and Excel). The gleaming hull that emerged from my calculations was clear: the Navy Apocalypse.
Ironically, many years later, this ship would feature again in my life in a popular RnK doctrine. However, the Navy Apocalypse of 2006 was a totally different beast with totally different bonuses. In 2006 the 'Navpoc' was the "capacitor ship", owing to an already massive capacitor size that was then endowed with a 25% bonus (although admittedly I was far from the Battleship V skill).
Before I go into explaining how that capacitor bonus would prove useful, I'd like to say that I'd never actually seen a Navy Apocalypse at the time I began farming for its load-out. In fact, at the time I deemed it to be my 'Champion Hull', I had never seen a normal Apocalypse either, although I did end up using one to farm for the Navy version.
The Navy Apocalypse remained a complete mystery until I bought one. The icon showed a "silvery" version of the normal Apoc:
Icon Close-up
But how would it actually look? These early ship icons were very mysterious in low resolution and with strange angles. Back then, clicking on the icon did not bring up a 3D model to pan around and although the Test Server existed, Faction Battleships were not seeded.
I even tried waiting in Jita for an evening to see if one would fly by so that I could get a look at my future battle steed. But none did. The closest I got was a Rattlesnake. At this point in Eve's life, people would still comment in Local when a Faction Battleship flew past.
Clearly such mystery could not have been sustained for the following thirteen years and we can hardly begrudge modern Eve for allowing players to inspect things they don't own. But I do want to stress how different even a simple thing like that was - how would it look undocking? There were no Youtube videos to watch about it and few good pictures to search for.
When it finally emerged from a station in Penirgman it was as bold as I could have hoped: a Golden Banana (the reason for going all warp-core stabs and no Nanos was that the route to 4M-P was littered with dual warp scrambling tacklers; Interdictors had only just been released and thus were rare and I had an alt to web it into warp).
The ship was named Bitter Moon, in honour of the charmingly quirky Polanski B-movie of the same name (and the young Emanuelle Seigner). After a suitably paranoid journey through nullsec, split over four days, Bitter Moon arrived in 4M-P for fitting. The process of sourcing and fitting the modules was to take another full two months.
The Fit
If Bitter Moon's aesthetic had been a mystery to me until the moment of purchase, its purpose was not. The fitting had to fulfil a number of objectives.
Firstly, it had to be a dominant 1v1 vessel. The hostiles with whom I interacted in GW put much emphasis on 1v1 battles. This was probably a consequence of the fact that they responded to rebellions at N-DQ station with crushing superiority. Once the interlopers were camped into station, an offer of a 1v1 was probably the only option to milk more entertainment out of my disheartened friends.
At this point in the game huge emphasis was still put on skillpoints - several of the hostiles had phrases like "15 MILLION SP GUNNERY!" in their bio and this led to a perception of their relative invincibility when the rebels chatted in Local after they'd left. Fifteen million skillpoints might seem trivial today but in 2006 it was impressive to have an amount like that as a specialisation.
[ 2005.12.19 15:45:52 ] Lord Maldoror > I assume you do a shed-load of dps?
[ 2005.12.19 15:46:21 ] Sly Raver > 3,5 mill in gunnery :)
[ 2005.12.19 15:46:24 ] Sly Raver > alone
[ 2005.12.19 15:46:39 ] Sly Raver > 14.4 mill skill points in total
[ 2005.12.19 15:46:39 ] Lord Maldoror > wow
My ship would have to make do with around 2.5million SP total. Therefore part of the design brief was to mitigate any skillpoint advantage an opponent might have in a 1v1.
A second requirement was that the ship had to be able to strike against small gate camps and kill the enemy or drive them off.
Finally, I needed some way to be able to strike back against the carrier threat. Carriers had just been introduced to the game in Red Moon Rising (Christmas 2005). As I began speaking to the 'rebels' (i.e. Great Wildlands locals who were not aligned with the region's owners) I heard many awe-struck stories of a cyno opening and Hellhunta II's carrier emerging to crush anyone who dared aggro in the vicinity of N-D station. The power of these tools was obvious and I was soon shopping for my own carrier alt, which led me to the purchase of the Alazais character. However, in the meantime, I wanted a different story told by the natives, one where the heavens open and the carrier emerges.. and yet, the prey lives. Better still, could the battleship-prey turn the tables on the hunter?
So the brief was relatively simple: win 1v1s, fight small gangs and camps and survive against (and possibly kill) capital ships, alone.
Rigs did not exist yet.
Combat Boosters did not exist.
Many T2 ammunition types and weapons did not yet exist.
A 'gankgeddon' or damage-fit Megathron could each break the 1000dps mark. A Thanatos did 1800dps and Dreads in the range of 1500-3000dps depending on damage type (the higher end of their dps was for EM/Thermal, which was good for my resist profile on an Apoc). A Titan could fire one big AOE but if you could tank that then it did less damage than a Dreadnought.
As a result, the tank of my Navy Apoc was fairly obvious: dual Centus-X armour repairers and Officer EANMs and hardeners. It was thereby (narrowly) numerically possible to tank any ship in the game - if you could keep the capacitor fed.
To sustain the capacitor meant the same simple solution that the classic NOS-Domi used. Back then a Nosferatu (NOS) module took all the capacitor energy that it was rated for in each cycle and gave it to you, regardless of respective capacitor percentages. It only stopped giving energy once the enemy was cap-dry.
Compared to the Dominx, the Navy Apoc had more high-slots for NOS. That still left a few spare for guns and of course it had a much bigger capacitor. It killed slower but it could beat a NOS domi (and had to, on two occasions). It also used a Talisman set, which was a pain to source back then.
Beyond the basic tank/NOS combination, the rest of the fit was fairly fluid. At the time I implied that there was a specific 'magic recipe' (and therefore covered over the modules when posting screenshots) but in truth the ship was essentially a hangar full of gear. It nearly always had a 90% web (webs were much more powerful back then) but the mids would vary: ECCM to keep the NOS feed going under jamming, exotic 36% Chelm's rechargers for certain builds (especially for duelling with a Bhaalgorn) and so on.
Assembling all this exotic equipment in the winter and early Spring of 2006 was possible only via a long forgotten artifact of Eve: the Escrow board. This was a plain list of available escrow contracts that served as a precursor to the modern Contract system. Faction modules weren't listed in the normal Eve Market and had to go up via this arcane board to be sold. There was no sorting beyond obvious categories like price (all bookmarks packs were at the top for a trillion isk to serve as an advert with contact details) and with no easy way outside of forums to broadly assess value, many expensive items were accidentally sold for a song.
Between playing the Escrow board and some hardcore ratting sessions, I finally sourced all the equipment and on June 1st 2006, the ship was combat ready.
First Blood
2006.06.01 20:03
Victim: Marshall SilverSky
Alliance: Veritas Immortalis
Corp: German Cyberdome Corp
Destroyed: Raven
System: N-DQ0D
Security: 0.0
Marshall SilverSky is probably a good man. Although the report in our ramshackle "Intel" channel ("MASSIVE RED SPIKE!!1" / "wait, it's clear now" / "they both left", etc) described the Marshall as "camping" N-DQ station in his Raven, in retrospect I suspect he was probably just taking a long time picking a belt.
After aggro'ing him with a bait Impairor on an alt ('Amber Times'), I undocked and attacked. A corpmate came to see what was going on and took a nice screenshot of the first encounter. On a screen from my POV, you'll notice that despite having only lost my shields, I have both my Centus-X reppers running. I had never been fired upon by a Raven-Class Battleship until this moment and although I believed I understood the mechanics, I still wasn't quite sure what would really happen when the missiles hit. Anecdotes about Cavalry Ravens on Eve-O were certainly playing on my mind.
Yet before I could finish contemplating the enormity of the moment, the good Marshall suddenly died. He left behind a smattering of Arbalest launchers, a few shiny "Tech2" modules and - this being 2006, remember - a Fleeting Warp Scrambler 1 amid all that ratting equipment which betrayed his true motivation of having designs upon my life and my ship. You'll note the loot screenshot is dated some five hours after the engagement; presumably I spent the interim dissecting the violent events had that unfolded.
Banana Intensifies
From here things escalated quickly. I used Bitter Moon to roam down the B-VIP pipe to hunt, break camps and then retreat to several 500 and 1000au safespots I'd made along the way. I learned how to bait tank. I learned how ship scanners could measure capacitor and thus to know which of multiple targets to leech for hungry armour reps and in what order.
One terrifying night my friend fell asleep while unanchoring our POS in 4M-P and -V- discovered it. I still remember the tension of having to counter-NOS a Curse (at the time a very new, poorly understood ship) to silence it, and while they were busy with Bitter Moon, quietly bringing my hauler alt on grid to scoop the worthless tower. With numbers escalating I finally managed to use a combination of webbing and neuting to offer a brief window where I wasn't pointed and make my exit to a deep-safe.
In arranged 1v1s the ship excelled by smothering capacitors and slowly whittling the enemy down while they pounded impotently on its hull. Specific fights still knotted the stomach: one was a knife- edge capacitor race against a Bhaalgorn where victory hinged on correctly timed injectors to win the race to silence the other and pit capacitor-amount against NOS-amount bonus. Another was a neutraliser-fit, plated Typhoon that cared little for its capacitor and simply desired to obliterate mine (and thereby reps). In the end, though, Bitter Moon always managed to win out.
Most importantly, the ship was able to tackle capitals undocking from N-DQ station. In 2006, N-DQ was a true 'kick out station' with a smaller sig radius than it has today. Being webbed during undock meant a high chance of no return. Of course, capital ships in 2006 were initially not too concerned with a lone Apocalypse daring to engage them, Navy Issue or not.
Believing it was their lucky day and that I'd aggro'd accidentally (cyno traps were much rarer in 2006) they assumed the question was simply whether their fighters could melt Bitter Moon before it could deaggress. It didn't occur to many of them that battleship neuts can eventually wear down a carrier's capacitor and in this era, although they already possessed the same rep amount that they would in future years, capitals had not yet received their ~400% hp boost and an average dread or carrier might have only 30,000hp of armour. 30k was still a lot by the standards of the day but viable for even a low dps battleship to chew through once their capacitor was empty.
[ 2006.11.03 22:40:56 ] SatanSarah > did you really tank?
[ 2006.11.03 22:41:01 ] SatanSarah > or is it a bug
Dreads and carriers tackled by Bitter Moon suffered a variety of fates. Some made it back to dock range, such as the individual quoted above. Some perished without help and some died to escalating rebel forces, once the word went out that a carrier was tackled and the hill fires were lit.
Of course, these escapades probably made me overconfident when dealing with capitals - despite that I was only ever dealing with one carrier or dread at a time.
The Beginning of the End
By April 2007, Bitter Moon's time had begun to pass. During the previous winter, Vertias ally INFOD had unleashed a Great Wildlands campaign which culminated in the battle of 7Q on 24th November 2006, recorded in the final part of INFOD legend Damige's Lock N' Load series. I'd led the fleet with my Thanatos against a fleet led by Damige in his carrier. When we prevailed, it was another step in the carrier replacing my Navpoc as the pick of the Hangar. A lone, absurdly expensive Navy Apoc had little purpose in fleet combat: throughout the campaign, I'd been dropping my carrier around the Wildlands every day and it would obviously be hard for a mere battleship to compete with the logistic power and force projection of a carrier (quite aside from the fact that the Triage module was only a patch away).
But it was still The Flagship and by now we had become a regional power. Therefore it had actually become the flagship of something. That meant that it was duty-bound to keep up appearances and fly the flag.
Fateful adventure
On April 19th 2007 I set out on a little roam through L4X-1V. I'd originally intended to go just with Valdor and have both of us in battleships, with me taking Bitter Moon and him in his trusty Typhoon. At the sight of the "flagship" making an appearance, members from the surrounding systems joined the gang as we moved through.
What resulted was not a good fleet, even by 2007 standards. We soon had a liquorice all-sorts collection of about a dozen people including a couple of Stabbers, three battleships total, a few tacklers and a passive-tanked Drake. I considered sending my alt along in a 'hospital Domi' (essentially a pure RR Dominix with remote ECCM) but we were already too far from M-M for that to catch up so I sent a cyno frigate instead, with a vague plan to drop my Thanatos if required.
Surprisingly, a small gate camp did bite on the Navy Apoc in L4X and we got a few kills. Our effort really shouldn't have netted a sausage: Navy Apoc lands in anchored bubble, lingers and lets enough ships get close to spread points, then Local goes up. Even back then this was an old chestnut and when tired shenanigans like that are netting kills, clearly it meant a day where nothing could go wrong.
But having noticed that we were now being followed by a couple of scouts, we decided to head back through Skarkon and low-sec rather than reverse our exact steps, even though this would put us out of jump range to use our cyno until we returned to the Egbinger area.
The systems ticked by: Skarkon, Mimiror, Osvetur. Then Unertek.
As we began to exit warp in Unertek, a cyno went down on our outgate. D-Scan revealed a carrier, then two, then three carriers.
Finally the warp was done and there they were: sitting at zero to the Klingt gate with fighters out. As soon as I was lockable they pointed me, along with Valdor's Typhoon. We decided to jump.
But awaiting us on the Klingt side of the gate there was another cyno and more carriers. And something else, too: "Mothership!" exclaimed our Drake pilot (it's always the Drake pilot - the born red-shirts of Eve). It was true: Velios' Hel was sat there. Worse still, the gate had a smattering of tacklers around it, including a Vagabond. Slipping away didn't seem a likely prospect.
The fleet had never seen a Mothership before. We were all still holding cloak. "Yah, it's a bloody pickle this one", said Valdor in those magical South African tones. Then he insisted on the only course of action: the Drake would uncloak first, followed by a smattering of other ships, to soak up their points. Bitter Moon would decloak last and try to warp before they switched points.
It didn't work. To the Drake's immense relief, the hostile force ignored him and let him warp off. Indeed, our entire ramshackle gang was allowed to warp off while the hostiles waited for Bitter Moon to decloak.
The instant I broke cloak and aligned out, I was immediately tackled by a Vagabond and, soon after, a carrier. The Hel and several carriers soon had their fighter swarm inbound to the Apoc.
At this point I decided that Bitter Moon had inadvertently done its duty - the ploy to have it decloak last had at least enabled the rest of our motley collection to escape.
Trundling back to the gate seemed improbable - the ship was webbed and besides, at least 3 carriers were waiting on the other side.
Generally speaking, flying such an expensive ship was in equal parts terrifying and enjoyable. Knowing you have a lot to lose makes each gate activation and each little gank more exciting. In this case, landing at the Klingt gate with the cyno up was thrilling and waiting in cloak on the other side, a little terrifying. But having finally walked into a good trap, there was mostly acceptance.
So, fuck it.
I starting locking up tacklers and fighters and set to work on making a suitable last stand. Unlike with the good Skymarshall's Raven, this time I did need both my reps running from the moment the fighter blob arrived. And so, fighting to the last, another fine vessel makes its departure from New Eden to join the fleet of Doomheim...
Well, except for a few things.
Firstly, the fighter blob had fewer Einherjis than other fighters and although still well into the 80s, Explosive was the ship's lowest resist.
Secondly, although barely used compared to my carriers, Bitter Moon's fit had been continually upgraded at any opportunity. For example, when rigs were introduced to the game, the ship was kitted out with them within days of the release, at vast expensive. Along the same lines, for a version of a build that used two EANMS, I'd been looking to replace an A-type (28.3%) with a second Officer EANM (30%). The resulting expense meant that I'd made a brief return to carebearing and had just tipped my Sec Status back above -2.0.
In turn, that meant that gate guns were helping me - and driving off light tacklers, while their HAC was being cap drained. With the Apoc's tank still holding, the need to keep me tackled and the lure of a shiny killmail probably worked together in making the carriers in Unertek jump over to the cyno in Klingt and unify their firepower. That meant they had now committed most of their force in Klingt. With the HAC's web turned off by NOS and only one of the carriers in webbing range, Bitter Moon was able to crawl back to the gate and then de-aggro.
As befits a flagship, it never suffered the indignity of going to Structure: with the armour bouncing between 25-50%, the timer was up and I jumped to Unertek. Although another HAC was waiting there, this wasn't a real threat. After a moment of madness where I considered reapproaching the gate to play games and try and split their force somehow ("Don't bloody hang around you bloody idiot, get to the bloody station" - Valdor), the battered Golden Banana safely made its exit:
[ 2007.04.19 20:12:23 ] MeatwagonUK > You should hear our ts btw, we are all amazed in your tank :p
[ 2007.04.19 20:12:29 ] MeatwagonUK > gf :P
[ 2007.04.19 20:12:41 ] Lord Maldoror > cheers :P
[ 2007.04.19 20:12:44 ] Lord Maldoror > nice trap
[ 2007.04.19 20:13:50 ] Lord Maldoror > Velios was the MS pilot?
[ 2007.04.19 20:14:09 ] MeatwagonUK > Aye, he's a nub, can't even kill an apoc in a mothership :P
Epilogue
As time went by, Bitter Moon's excursions became fewer and further apart. I was determined to show the world the merit of the new triage module and there was little place for an absurdly expensive augment-rigged local tanking battleship in that New World Order. Moreover, for a time I lost more carriers in Eve on Alazais than anyone else had ever lost up to then, which might have proved the critics right had even the losses not mostly been in winning causes. However, sometimes a battle involved multiple losses of triage carriers, to wear down the enemy fleet and their non-triage caps before they could exhaust the triage reserves.
To keep all that funded it was perhaps inevitable that I ransacked Bitter Moon's module pile (Chelm's rechargers were worth a lot even then) and when the time came to replace the items, eventually I tended to buy something new and shiny rather than restock for a ship I barely used.
Even more importantly, the ship itself changed. NOS functionality was altered completely and, in time, the Apoc's bonuses were also changed away from capacitor size. The Abaddon already encroached on the Apoc's tanking role but the Paladin certainly finished the matter.
I did wheel it out for a few Rooks and Kings fleets in 2010 and 2011 but it was probably as absurd as bringing along the HMS Victory for a sortie with a modern navy. I was loathe to remove the original rep-amount rigs, so it flew around with a very sub-optimal fit, under the cover of half a dozen triage carriers (and in fleets where it no longer even stood out as an expensive ship, which itself says a lot about the changing times).
If there's a point to be made from all this, it's that a specific individual hull can have a story in Eve. Perhaps that's a natural extension of the way that a location in Eve has a 'real' sense of place. I've always thought it a shame therefore that when ships are re-balanced and altered that the existing versions don't keep their old properties. This wouldn't be possible in every case, of course (sometimes hull changes are needed to fix something very broken or overpowered) but where role changes are more subtle it would be nice to see an ever dwindling supply of 'mark 1' hulls be recognised on the battlefield.
"Sir, I don't think I'm being neuted! I'm half of structure!"
"That's no Armageddon, son. That's a Gankgeddon".
etc.
And, for example, you'd have to be very confident in your plan to throw in a wing of long range Falcons after they lost their range bonus, and risk your finite supply.
To follow that thought a little further, while it would be wonderful to have an original golden banana poking its way into a fight alongside modern Apocs, clearly the demands of shaders and damage-skins will never allow for legacy ship model versions. However, even that limitation would be nice if the bonuses were honoured: one of the few disappointments of modern Eve is that the increasing specialisation of ships means that it's obvious what a ship will do when it hits the grid. If the heavens opened and a carrier sprung out, there were many things it could have been about to do. If a FAX emerges, it's pretty obvious.
Killmarks have given us a sense of history to a ship but it would be awesome to have a tab on the info box to show where a ship was built and perhaps who assembled/repackaged it along its lifetime or what pilots scored kills with it. Whilst it's rather unlikely that they'd actually be reading this post, it would be nice to think someone could read this and discover where their BPC and minerals from 2005 ended up.
For the record, during a special 2014 campaign in Great Wildlands, we escorted Bitter Moon back to N-DQ station, where it resides today. It's never been repackaged in its nearly 13 years of service, still has the first rigs it was fitted with (and was one of the first ships in the game to be rigged) and I'm told still has its original summer 2006 Item ID (though I don't know much about how that stuff works).
Ultimately, Bitter Moon was not instrumental in any battles on which hinged the survival of either alliance it served as a flagship for. It didn't change any metas or launch any doctrines. It had the potential to leave a good killmail (by 2008 its collective modules totalled about the then-value of a Titan) and therefore some financial significance, though conceptually it was a lot less important to my Eve story than other things in my hangar. And yet, with a few exceptions, those other ships are really fits and not ships. There's something very mid-2000s about it all, coupled with the creamy nebulas on CRT monitors, the reporting of ships by name in Intel channels and the general innocence of people getting to grips with virtual objects as 'things' that lived and died and entertained you in the time between.

* * *
Tl;dr: The following is a long form essay that goes over the issues that NC/PL will be facing and are currently facing. If you want to read about historical comparisons and discussion on military theory, organization, and operational warfare, this is for you; if you don’t care, then just know that this is going to be a long reee about the war. Effectively; NC/PL don’t produce enough ships, don’t have the means of absorbing losses, and have lost control of the narrative.
* * *
I had been thinking about writing this since the battle of UALX. At the time I saw that it was something of a Falaise Pocket rather than the Dunkirk it proved to be. This comes from someone who is seeing this war from the bottom rather than having any special access to command channels and all information is derived from the publically available Monthly Economic Reports (CCP, please fix your MERs so that the graphs and data occur in the same order every month, it’s killing me and it made me make a couple mistakes at first). I am a member of TEST but I write not in favor of them, I write to give my insight in hopes that it may prove useful to someone. Maybe it’ll prove useful to NC/PL, the enemies of TEST/Legacy in this war, which I don’t think would be bad.
“War is a continuation of politics by other means.” - Carl von Clausewitz
The war that we have been wanting is upon us, we have massive TiDi titan conflicts with battles that are reaching unheard of levels since B-R. However, the game has changed since B-R; since which we have seen the two greatest upheavals to the game, skill injectors and Rorquals. Within a day, someone with a strong credit card can buy enough plex to create a capital alt and fit it, ships that were rare and decisive are now commonplace. As a result, the tactics and stylings of the game have changed. Dreads and FAXs (new but still a version of legacy fit triage carriers) are built to be disposable and lost with little survivability beyond buffer. Sub-cap meta shifts away from cruisers to battlecruisers and battleships. Shield caps are actually useful.
As such, the different factions of EVE learn to fight their way of war with one major exception: NC/PL. In ages past, NC/PL were a force to be reckoned with, masses of highly skilled (both in terms of SP but also practical knowledge) and a capital cache that made most of EVE tremble. While the Mittani and his Imperium was mighty, NC/PL were the counter-weight of power. However, as with all empires, those that do not adapt or change will grow old and static; the once mighty line regiments of Frederick the Great were laughed upon by Napoleon at Jena, and too has NC/PL calcified into a relic of old.
Here, I will discuss the reasons why NC/PL is effectively doomed in the current World War Reee. Three issues are apparent: NC/PL is economically doomed and it is clear from the monthly economic report (MER from here on out); NC/PL has not adapted to the new form of war in the age of Rorqual & Capital Proliferation and Skill Injectors; and NC/PL has little concept of Operational Warfare.
**Economics*\*
Ever since the Imperium has taken Delve, EVE has looked upon the MER and wept. Looking back to just February of 2018, Delve has been slowly ramping up to being the sole place of wealth in the entirety of EVE. This is seen in three areas, by looking at the production per region, the NPC bounties per region, and the mining value per region.
During February of 2018, the leader of production was The Forge, aptly named while holding the largest single market in EVE (The Forge had over 650t of trade value while Delve had nearly 50t.) The Forge had 30t of production as a region while Delve was close behind with 29t in production value. February is notable because this will be the last month The Forge was the leader of production. Within the next month, Delve cleared ahead of the 30t mark in production and well passed into 40t of production per month while The Forge held at 33t. It isn’t until June (as the July MER hasn’t been released) that Delve has a decline in production that is noticeable at 33.3t while the Forge produced 32.9t.
In respect to mining and bounties, it only gets worse. In February of 2018, Delve naturally was in the lead at over 10t in NPC bounties while the closest is Branch at less than 4t. Other regions are close with Deklein nearly matching Branch and Esoteria barely going over 3t in bounties. For the months of March through June, Branch and Esoteria hold between 3-4t in bounties but never come close to matching Delve which hits a high of 13t in bounties and goes down to 12t the following month. It goes without saying that Delve outmines the entirety of EVE at 12t of ore mined in February of 2018 and only going up every month to nearly 15t in June.
Now, why the economics dump? Effectively The Imperium can and has the means of fighting any war they want. The other member of the super coalition, Legacy, is one of the top performers but nowhere near that of the Imperium, producing 2-3t per month every month consistently and getting around 3t in bounties per month. The counter argument will always be “but there are more Goons in Delve than everyone else in their regions” and yes, this is true, but that doesn’t matter just as it doesn’t matter in the real world, which I will get to in a moment.
What about NC/PL? Their performance is rather middling. Judging on primary holdings in Vale and Tribute, NC/PL produced 3.1t and 6.4t in their regions respectively in February and nearly 3.5t and 5.7t in June with a small bump in March with 9t produced in Tribute and in May with nearly 7t in Vale. Mining? Less than 1t in February with both regions and and following suit each month with an exception of March. Ratting income? 2.2t and 1t respectively in February with roughly the same month by month. How much of these numbers is truly theirs over their renters is unknown, for if it's NC/PL, then it's lackluster, but if it's their renters, then it's deplorable. These stuck in the old meta alliances of note are doing far less than even the “middle ground” Legacy in Esoteria and outmatched by their renters or allies.
Which gets down to the real economics. What does NC/PL have for them in the economics department that Legacy or the Imperium doesn't? Yes they all have renters, but for NC/PL, the primary source of income is ISK via renters. While something not publically available, it could be assumed that it would be great and enough to make due. It’s nice to make ISK but the issue is that the ISK needs to be coupled with production and resources.
Realistically, it could be compared to the situation of the Axis and Allies in WW2, with NC/PL being the Axis and Imperial Legacy being the Allies, not due to how they align against whom I fly with but in respect for the comparison of economics.
Using this wiki article as a source for numbers, it is very clear who was the producer of WW2. The Axis produced 76k tanks while the Allies produced 256k; 97k artillery compared to 1m; 222k aircraft to 637k. With very few exceptions, the Allies out produced the Axis well over 3:1 and in some areas out produced them 10:1, with a majority of the production on Nazi Germany (because what is Italy going to do?)
What is worse is the access to resources. The Allies produced 4.6b tonnes of coal to the Axis 2.7b (with 2.5b being Germany’s); 597m tonnes of steel to 291m tonnes; and 1043m tonnes of crude oil to 66.7m tonnes (with Japan actually contributing 25M tonnes to Germany’s 33m tonnes).
In the end, no wonder weapon was going to save Germany. The King Tiger that could kill tens of Shermans still relies on oil that Germany lacks access to. The Iron of one King Tiger could be used in other aspects, the energy from coal could be used on other aspects of the war (and this doesn’t go into other issues like finicky tanks and delicate weapons). Without the mining or production backbone to support sustained losses, NC/PL isn’t going to be able to match the abilities of their enemy.
**Strategy*\*
On the 18th of July, Test Alliance had a Keepstar that was anchoring in the system of UALX-3 in Tenerifis. As a result of previous movements, PL had their armor super fleet ready and worked to destroy the Keepstar before it could finish anchoring. TEST and Allies, with some help from those in the Imperium that had Shield Supers, fought long and hard to stop PL & Co. The Keepstar was destroyed but the battle continued until a crash of the server. TEST logged back in to continue, but PL & Co didn’t.
NC/PL relies on a concept as old as Napoleon, the Grand Battle. Napoleon wanted decisive battles to force his enemies toward peace talks, and it’s been a fascination for all armchair generals. Austerlitz, Jena-Auerstedt, Wagram, Waterloo; big singular battles that end wars. These big, massive battles are an old style of warfare that are more common of pre-fozzie sov and argued by some to be the superior means of warfare. However, things have changed by two ways: first, Aegis Sov as it’s properly known actively worked to spread out conflicts over a constellation to make it easier on smaller groups to gain territory while making it easier on the servers. This prevents these Grand Battles that would slow down the server and ruin the fun of the player. These changes were implemented after the jump fatigue changes that limited capital projection and stopped massive rental empires. The second change was that of citadels; no longer were stations important since staging could happen anywhere and be destroyed.
These two changes have shaped warfare to something more similar to contemporary warfare, a constant slow burn where armies constantly fight but few big battles happen. Unless you drop a Keepstar far forward from your home region.
To exacerbate this is the two logistical benefits that have vastly changed the game: the Rorqual change and skill injectors.
Rorquals have massively changed the means of production, reducing the cost of everything (except T2 items which have been affected by moon rebalancing) and throwing massive amounts of minerals around for even the smallest of alliances (as well as the material efficiency reduction of citadels but Rorquals are far more impactful) . Delve is able to out mine the universe because the Rorqual has shifted industrial action away from Exhumers to these massive 11+b whales that eat up mining anomalies so much, CCP even nerfed anomaly spawn times after a series of Rorqual nerfs to help bring balance to these extremely overpowered industrial beasts.
Skill injectors are a different animal that only fuels the power of Rorquals. If the Rorqual was OP, they were made more so by the skill injector. Anyone could become a Rorqual pilot with a few clicks of a button or your skill plan could be cleared just as easily. However, Skill Injectors allow newer pilots to join the big boys, the older players that have been carefully grooming their skill plans and working to collect the capital to own several capitals. A day one pilot can be anything they wanted, even a Titan pilot. And that’s the thing, anyone can be a Titan pilot. And worse, anyone can dock up their Titan into a Keepstar.
If anyone can be in a Supercarrier or in a Titan, what specialness is there to the NC/PL superfleet? No more can they throw their weight around and expect to make these decisive battles if there is a massive proliferation of their own speciality.
And worse, these Grand Battles that NC/PL wants; the Grand Battles that CCP advertises and lusts for to sell to the games media, they can backfire. Napoleon marched into Belgium to defeat an Anglo-Prussian observation army meant to make sure France would be fine, marching in if the King was overthrown again. Worse, Napoleon came back and moved to defeat the observing army. Napoleon defeated the Prussians at Ligny, Ney failed at Quatre Bras, and Napoleon moved on Wellington near a small town called Mont St. Jean where, as ABBA put it, he met his Waterloo.
Putting the stakes on a single battle can work against you as it did Napoleon. Napoleon marched against the Anglo-Dutch lines while PL pushed against the Shield of Imperial Legacy. At UALX-3, Legacy wanted PL to devote themselves to the Grand Battle they always wanted, knowing that they had spent the past year and a half building up Esoteria and making ISK for the fight against the PL super fleet. The game crashed, and PL was told not to log back in. Then Legacy started the trap, hell camping their last position in game. For several days, the super fleet was trapped offline and escaped, but the damage was done. The ISK war was in favor of PL, but Legacy held the field and claimed victory. This would be mirrored at X47L-Q in Pure Blind with even greater consequences.
**Operational Warfare*\*
Unlike what Todd Howard wants you to think, war has changed. From Napoleon to the World Wars, from the World Wars to today, war isn’t waged in the same way. What is more important is the Operational aspect of warfare. Operational Warfare is the unification of every aspect of the nation into its ability to wage war; from economics, fiscal & monetary policy, standard government policy, media control & support, morale & propaganda, logistical & production means, and standard military tactics & doctrine. Operational Warfare is Total Warfare in its fullest ability and furthest realization.
Today, operational warfare has more to do with government policy married with governmental fiscal policy and the military, how much money the military gets to do what it wants and how it ties to the military-industrial complex. In a more desperate time, say during WW2, it was realized by tying nearly every aspect of life to the war effort. Women worked so men could fight, factories were retooled to make war materiale, Daffy Duck joined the Navy and Captain America punched Hitler. Everything was working to maximize America’s ability to fight war, and every nation did this during WW2.
Operational Warfare still exists even in a game like EVE.
We have talked about the economic potential of the two major powers, Imperial Legacy and NC/PL. Imperial Legacy, with the Imperium as the major contributor in this respect, has maximized their ability to wage war. They joke when losing a Molok that it has already been replaced (and more on that later), showing the level of production that they feel comfortable of losing. But what joking is there when NC/PL lose a Titan?
“GLOBAL TELL ALL YOUR FACTION TITANS TO DEAGGRESS OR WHATEVER I DONT WANT THEM GETTING AN EASY WIN ON THE BATTLE REPORT BECAUSE OF FUCKING FACTION TITANS.” - Killah Bee, 2018.
There is no joking. There are no memes. There is no control over their own message.
This simple phrase is an issue for PL but there is a similar aspect example in military history. At Borodino, Napoleon had faced a stalwart and stubborn Russian army that was eventually cleared from the field with the exception of this large hill at the center of the Russian center, the Raevsky Redoubt. Packed with guns and troops, it would be a hard push to take this without wasting an already exhausted army. Napoleon had a choice, continue to have his exhausted army push up and take the hill by force or commit his Imperial Guard.
The French Imperial Guard was some of the most fearsome and skilled fighters in the era. With years of experience before they could even be eligible to apply, only the best of the best could become a Guardsman. It was a prime position with extra income and support from the Emperor, who treated them as if they were his own children. Sending them forward would see casualties from this elite force and the tattering of a reserve force that could be useful later, but that same reserve force could sway the battle and decisively end the battle.
In the end, Napoleon didn’t commit the Guard; his generals were furious and those at the front pushed their exhausted troops up the redoubt and took it by force, but tired soldiers couldn’t stop the Russians from slipping away. As a result, the Russian army stayed intact, able to harass Napoleon on his way to Moscow and on his return from it. There are many what if scenarios from that day, but the failure to commit his own special forces showed the Emperor wanted to save face over all.
As noted earlier, morale and propaganda are vital aspects of Operational warfare. Captain America punching Hitler is a vital to making American power look like that they could physically touch the most evil individual of Nazi Germany and such do our own propaganda has purpose. The war effort was shifted toward the reworking of capital and women entering the workforce due to the messages and propaganda from the governments of the world. A large change happened that allowed for logistical and economic success by the Allies over the Axis.
The Imperium puts out music and fanfic, Legacy puts out memes, there is not as much as an effort from NC/PL. Imperium has evolved from their sprawling Empire to becoming the kings of industry. Legacy shifted from being the kicking boy of Goons to playing PL.
Admission of bias, I don’t look at the EVE forums, my time is spend on reddit. I have my reasons but that’s where it is. If NC/PL posts prop that matches Legacy propaganda, that could be a thing. However, it never gets reposted if there is, and the NC/PL propaganda is as lackluster as their production numbers.
Propaganda is a means of controlling opinion and message. While there was a small anti-Legacy time period during the early part of the war due to Admin issues, it was cleared up and rules were explained to the benefit of all. However, Narrative control stayed with Imperial Legacy. When PL stayed logged off after the Battle of UALX-3, there was a narrative of a cowardly PL, a PL hell camped by BRAVE, a PL that had lost more Titans than they killed.. After the Battle of X47L-Q, the Killah Bee quote caught fire. There is very little attempt to do damage control.
Operational Warfare is the battle, the war, and the message. It seems that NC/PL is lacking in the latter two. They can claim “the ISK war”, but after the Killah Bee call, is it really about the ISK War or about saving face? Will NC/PL commit the Old Guard, or will the Old Guard crumble at the end as they did at Waterloo?
To wage a war is not a light task. It takes many individuals countless hours in a hobby to organize, collect, produce, and pay for the ambitions of others. Wars are tiring in their own effort, the battles of UALX-3 and X47L-Q last from USTZ prime time till the crash of the server or downtime (and if I recall, PGL said that he was up for over 36 hours during UALX).
However, it doesn’t seem like NC/PL have the will to win, just the will to save face. “ISK War” has been claimed in UALX-3 and X47L-Q, but at the cost of their objectives, battlefields, and face. The Propaganda War has been decidedly held by Imperial Legacy with amazing propaganda posters and NazAlGhul Fanfic. They lack the means of production to replace the losses that Imperium can easily absorb and what more is there to push them beyond their own elite stature? Legacy had a border war with Fraternity and company explode into a larger war, but the Imperium wants blood, they want revenge.

This is pasted from my own blog which you can read here with nicer formatting and more images :)
https://ashyin.space/aar-biggest-fight-ive-ever-started/
Titans and supers get thrown around like nobody's business these days, but it's hardly common for a small gang to ignite a 40b ISK brawl just like that. To really understand the insanity that was our Saturday evening, though, we're going to go through it bit by bit AAR style. More of an After Day Report I suppose this time.

STAGE 1: Lowsec Gate to Foxholers

I have to admit that I didn't start off the evening in the best mood. I just wanted to play some WoW Classic (Warlock BTW) and eat fried chicken takeaway. Of course since things never go to plan as CEO, I had already started receiving personal pings that there was a Brutix & more to kill. Said person apparently did not want to ping themselves but hey whatever; I'll crash a lowsec gatecamp any day.
From what it seemed, the people that we wanted to kill do this all the time (as evident by this curious fellow in local chat screaming about it). I'm not sure if it was the logi on standby, the fast-locking Praxis/Gnosis, or the fact that they reset and repaired after every single 3m ISK kill, but these guys looked like they wouldn't even fight a kitten let alone Foxes.
It's like looking back at embarassing things you did as a kid on the internet
Fortunately for us, we had some hauling to do. Through the generosity of good old Lukas Nemec, we now had some (actually expensive) DST bait. The plan was a simple 'bait the gatecamp' then bring the hammer so I won't bore you with the details. I will say, however, that we tanked easily and smashed up a lowsec camp twice in a row. Turns out that remote repping Drekavacs really tend to help your Occator not die. You can check out a combined BR here.
Thanks to the hilarity that is 750m KG mass wormholes I personally let myself get rolled out here. Our second attack was entirely through a crit hole which couldn't have supported more than three battlecruisers. I then used this time to order the aforementioned fried chicken and make friends with the locals while my foxes concocted their next plan.

STAGE 2: It's Free Real Estate

Within only minutes of placing the order of fried chicken for Teddy Gbyc and I, there was more action to be had. Our token Russian, comrade Alexey Mamontov, had found us a lovely little Astrahus coming out of final timer at 21:00. "Marvellous" said I, and tasked the Foxes with finding me a new entrance to our chain.
Skipping forward by about two hours, three chicken fillets, and some chips, we started forming for what looked to be a relatively routine structure bash. Our only major concern was the potential for P A R A B E L L U M to turn up and push our collective face in. With bombers on grid in the target red giant six jumps down-chain and Parabellum between us, it was definitely something to be worried about. Regardless, I picked our trusty RR Dreks up once again and headed down to face our fears.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3agIp8HUhW8
We were apparently wrong to worry because the maximum form of the Russians this time of night looked to be one Leshak. To make himself easier to kill, he delightfully warped to a frig hole to die instead of going home. Thanks Mr Leshak, you can watch your death in this video (sadly no comms). Other than the mysterious Manticore who flew into my Sabre we didn't hear any more from them for the rest of the night.
The rest of the bash went about as well as you can expect and you can watch the whole thing if you like. Don't know who would want to do that to themselves, though. The most interesting highlight of our bash was a trio of Hecates who are yet to learn that we fly with jump drives. We do this a lot.
Total loot from the Astra was way more than you'd expect to find in a random C3. The structure itself was unremarkable, but after swatting away the TDSIN loot flies we got away with something in the region of ten billion ISK. That's nothing for many groups, but since we don't really tend to earn ISK as a corp this is a fortune in what will eventually become fuel blocks and SRP. These numbers were bolstered even more when a gang of cloaky bullshit tried to stop us going home with 1.2b ISK Proteus's. Of course they cloaked and ran away as they always do. They (or their friends?) ended up rolling out a Praxis afterwards which we gleefully scanned down and popped.
The bigger bounty from all this in my opinion is the massive collection of corpses that we now own. The citadel owners were even nice enough to provide a handy dandy Mastodon to scoop them with. Not that it really helped since there we OVER 1,500 OF THE FUCKERS. Since I've discovered that multiple corpses can be jettisoned at once you can bet your bottom dollar that I'm going to use them like squid ink. Our Mar5hy's will blot out the sun.
Let me know if you want to buy any! This is half...

STAGE 3: We Can Tank Supers

After much jubilation and my final glass of Prosecco it was nearing time for bed for us EU folks. To round the evening out my corp member Xaoxinn wanted to roll the null and poke around a bit. You might remember him from such tales as 'Outfoxing a Jump Freighter'; he's a great hunter and delivered once again with a platter of Rorquals and Procurers. I'd already had my fried chicken but felt like it was worth going in with bombers at least. Our first bombing run was actually unsuccessful due to their large tanks.
Fortunately for us, nullsec spodbrains are very smart people and stayed still a second bombing run which was a little bit more effective. They were actually so smart that they delivered us a free unfit Skiff to kill, too. Note the name Robert Seawolf here friends. He's an important character in our story and he has already lost a few ships.
Drekavacs!
To understand what happened next you need to know that we fly microjumping, microwarping, remote repping, self-linking, nano Drekavacs. It's an entirely T2 fit for 280m ISK a pop and they're hella fun. Our plan was to generate content by sitting on the Encounter Surveillance System and waiting for the fun to arrive. After five minutes of combat probes, carriers, and T3s warping around our wish was granted as a lonely Phobos slid onto grid to tackle our seven Drekavacs. Of course a cyno went up just before my inhibitor and the games began.
First up comes a Nyx and a Thanatos; the latter of which is piloted by our good friend Robert Seawolf. This seemed pretty tankable and we stayed on grid for a few seconds until the second Nyx appeared. Deciding this was probably too much I jumped us out to reset and rep each other up on the wormhole. Before long, however, we were aligned and warping back in to try our luck with 7 battlecruisers against some supers.
As you can tell from the title, this went surprisingly well with our Dreks managing to just barely hold on against way too much DPS. Our general tactic here was to prop away from fighters while zapping Dromis and Sirens and putting ECM drones on damage fighters. Once 'tackle' was cleared enough we'd fly back in and tank while trying to crack a target. This worked for the Phobos and we must have cost them a fortune in T2 fighters but all good things must end. After a full ten minutes of tanking 2 supers and 1, then 2, then 3 carriers, they dropped the hammer. In this case that was a total fielding of Thanny x4, Nyx x2, Nidhoggur, Revelation x2, and a Naglfar to fight seven T2 fit battlecruisers.
Needless to say, we jumped the fuck out of there and by golly we almost all escaped, leaving behind just comrade Alexey and my poor cyno inhib. At this point we all thought it was over. We warped home to chat about the event and actually go to bed. This was, of course, cut short by shouts of "There's a Goon Arazu! I think something is going to happen!" from someone on comms.
Why yes, it turned out that something was about to go down. Goons delivered a dreadbomb directly onto the Nyxes that had previously been trying to chew on our Dreks. Pandemic Horde responded with about what you'd expect and down came the second, much bigger hammer.
You can check out the BR and gallery below, but by the time everything had landed on grid, NC/PL/Horde had 23 titans, 22 supers, 4 dreads, 9 carriers 4 FAXes, and some change. In contrast, the Goon side consisted of a 16-man dreadbomb plus Stuka fleet. Neither of these fleets would have been here if it weren't for us causing trouble around the ESS so I'm pretty happy about that. Horde and friends were the clear victors in this engagement and held grid easily with their titan fleet. We tried our hardest to cause some trouble with bombers but it was mostly a case of watching and chanting "holy shit holy shit what did we cause". Didn't stop me from bombing myself, though...
So what was that I said about Robert Seawolf before? Turns out that he messaged me and wanted some advice. He was originally very salty at us for fighting him and wanted us gone so he could mine. Right now he just wants to know how we did it though.
He was really very curious so I told him about our fit and how we tanked him. He didn't seem to understand the concept of remote repping though unfortunately.
Robert Seawolf > each one of those an tank 2 carriers and 1 supper? [We're remote rep] Robert Seawolf > which means? drones on fighters? how possible fighters much faster no?
I almost feel bad for the guy. This is what happens when a nullseccer gets infected with spodbrain. They rush into carriers and supers and have no idea what some basic concepts of EVE are... I suppose he won't be around long though since apparently our antics have pushed him away from EVE Online.
Robert Seawolf > will be quiting eve after this
Another victim of the nullsec blob machine :(
Final Battle Report tl;dr: Killed some lowsec bullshit, killed some wormhole bullshit, caused a ton of nullsec bullshit