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The /r/hockey Trade Deadline Game - Day 2 Thread

NOTE: This is FAKE HOCKEY. To talk about actual hockey, go to the latest Daily Discussion thread
Trade Deadline Tonight will continue TONIGHT!
The /hockey Trade Deadline Game is back for day 2! Starting today at 8:00 AM MT trading is officially open again. Trading will run until Thursday, January 30th at 6:00 PM MT.
You are not late! You can still sign up at http://www.tdgdb.com
When you are traded, change your flair on hockey-related subreddits and spend the week from January 31st through February 7th cheering for your new team.
Here are this year's reporters, the people who will make things up break news of trade negotiations:
But remember

NO TRADE IS OFFICIAL UNTIL POSTED IN THIS THREAD!

It's not too late to sign up to be a player The sign-up form is still active and will remain open until Wednesday night. You can find that here
For TDG-related shenanigans, go here [WARNING: some NSFW Language]
Happy trading!
coloradoavalanche receives xelrano from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives illwill18 from coloradoavalanche
Detroit receives a 3 of the Rocky Mountains, Breckenridge Brewery.
Colorado receives Windsor Ontario.
coloradoavalanche receives Muckerofbin from edmontonoilers
coloradoavalanche receives SCwinningJultz from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives asswaffle420 from coloradoavalanche
edmontonoilers receives CloutWaffle from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receive a used oil derrick, straight from the prairies.
canucks receives TheOlDickTwister from detroitredwings
canucks receives SevenStringGod from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives JordanTheLobster from canucks
detroitredwings receives BlueLegs32 from canucks
Detroit receives Storm Brewery.
Vancouver receives the naming rights to Lake Superior
predators receives tonuch4963 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives TRed7894 from predators
Detroit receives Yazoo Brewery, and a choked on peanut.
Nashville receives the helmet from Robocop.
penguins receives thewinterzodiac from edmontonoilers
penguins receives nextfanatic from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives DontPanic_4242 from penguins
edmontonoilers receives shirleyxx from penguins
penguins receive a barrel of the finest Albertan oil.
penguins receives StonedArcticPenguin from rangers
rangers receives ArchaicTriad from penguins
Pittsburgh Cheesesteak has been removed from the menu from Parmanti Bro's
anaheimducks receives Efficient-Sentence from winnipegjets
anaheimducks receives ItsaMe_Fish from winnipegjets
winnipegjets receives dunkan799 from anaheimducks
anaheimducks Front Office will have food delivered to the Front Office of Winnipegjets
stlouisblues receives otterHooligan from flyers
stlouisblues receives DelcoScum from flyers
stlouisblues receives agswanlek from flyers
flyers receives OtterInAustin from stlouisblues
flyers receives lawnicus18 from stlouisblues
flyers receives Rhymes_withOrange from stlouisblues
stlouisblues receives The Jacks NYB from Philadelphia in exchange for one hour alone with the Stanley Cup for Gritty.
rangers receives Asscheese124 from floridapanthers
rangers receives BearHands00 from floridapanthers
rangers receives MiamiDolphinsFan13 from floridapanthers
floridapanthers receives MentalCorruption from rangers
The New York Rangers also receive naming rights to the city of Miami, renaming it New Brooklyn, and naming rights to the Florida Keys, renaming them the Brooklyn Keys
flyers receives leadorlead from bluejackets
bluejackets receives puckcrisis11 from flyers
To bluejackets - a supply of Scrapple
To flyers - a gift card to La Crema in Hamilton
bluejackets receives NorthHighBears from coloradoavalanche
bluejackets receives RaiderGoalie from coloradoavalanche
bluejackets receives FuzzyTheKiller from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives Highlander253 from bluejackets
coloradoavalanche receives HockeyHydralisk from bluejackets
Columbus Blue Jackets to receive a case of Marylands finest rot gut, DuClaw Brewery's Sweet Baby Jesus Chocolate Peanut Butter Porter.
Colorado Avalanche to receive assurances that HockeyHydralisk will shitpost memes at least twice, spending more than ten minutes in GIMP and not just making text on a white background.
detroitredwings receives docksmur from bluejackets
detroitredwings receives Demonox01 from bluejackets
bluejackets receives TheFlanderer from detroitredwings
bluejackets receives InSwedenWeTrust from detroitredwings
bluejackets may dress the Spirit of Detroit in a Blue Jackets jersey for one week
detroitredwings receives the Columbus Brewing Company
flyers receives Sulfoniclol from coloradoavalanche
flyers receives doodlescout from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives TheGlaceon78 from flyers
coloradoavalanche receives wh1zzer from flyers
Colorado Avalanche to receive the township of Cherry Hill, NJ.
canes receives sneakytinkerspirits from canes
VGK receives a single In-n-Out fry. Not even animal style. Plain.
devils receives OhneBremse_OhneLicht from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives woodbot96 from devils
sanjosesharks receives SnowyPuzzle from devils
sanjosesharks receives HopelessEsq from devils
sanjosesharks receives CTLepore from devils
hawks receives themagicman1343 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Xenofon713 from hawks
detroitredwings receives Goose Island Brewery, but will still distribute to Chicago. hawks gets to rename 8 mile, 88 mile and a picture of Patrick Kane will be put on the sign.
hawks receives hockeyenthusiast from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives NimihseeL from hawks
Chicago will send some cold weather to the Bay Area. The Sharks will use this to host the Blackhawks in the Winter Classic.
canes receives StephDoesntCamp from flyers
flyers receives SheepLovesFinns from canes
flyers receives SarahCiv from canes
flyers receives IAMA_Dumba55_Fan from canes
canes receives the Rocky statue and promises to teach Steph how to properly appreciate Rod the Bod
dallasstars receives kethryvis from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives talkinmyface from dallasstars
sanjosesharks receives doihavetowearabra from dallasstars
Sharks receive three bags of hockey pucks.
detroitredwings receives OcelotWolf from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives swim846 from detroitredwings
sanjosesharks receives GreatCanadian_ from detroitredwings
sanjosesharks receives ts1234666 from detroitredwings
Detroit receives ownership of the Hapas Brewing Company.
newyorkislanders receives Dildo_Baggins_6969 from hawks
newyorkislanders receives bwhyte1123 from hawks
hawks receives Deathwing_Dragonlord from newyorkislanders
hawks receives commsmatt from newyorkislanders
Isles to provide Hawks with Brooklyn pie.
Hawks to provide Isles with deep dish pizza.
detroitredwings receives CutLinkOfficial from rangers
rangers receives nik_mkay from detroitredwings
/detroitredwings get Genesee Brewing Company.
/rangers get to rename Dayton, MI to New New York, MI
devils receives osoblanco234 from goldenknights
devils receives Bigcheecho from goldenknights
devils receives rubix08 from goldenknights
devils receives mmowry98 from goldenknights
devils receives CapHillFlash from goldenknights
goldenknights receives JSav7 from devils
goldenknights receives timotomat0 from devils
goldenknights receives Pastatrees from devils
goldenknights receives Palmsfan21 from devils
goldenknights receives faze_chair from devils
New Jersey Devils acquire Bryce Harper's tears
Vegas Golden Knights acquire a Nikita Gusev Jersey
devils receives Hobpobkibblebob from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives HeadHighSauce26 from devils
tampabaylightning receives diego-fuego from devils
TB receives: Louis Domingue NJ receives: some real Florida beach sand and a 12 pack of a Tampa Bay beer to be named later
canes receives Awab25 from hawks
hawks receives shadownet97 from canes
Canes will receive 1 pie from Pequod's.
leafs receives Cynova055 from bluejackets
bluejackets receives haIifax from leafs
To leafs - a signed LeBron James poster
To bluejackets - a Stan Rogers vinyl
coloradoavalanche receives ksheiny from newyorkislanders
coloradoavalanche receives zxpzflik from newyorkislanders
coloradoavalanche receives QuantumDrake from newyorkislanders
newyorkislanders receives littleneerd from coloradoavalanche
newyorkislanders receives bluestooge from coloradoavalanche
newyorkislanders receives usiakcameron from coloradoavalanche
/ColoradoAvalanche receive a cup holder stolen from the Barclays center
both teams sign a joint statement saying the Barclays Center sucks for hockey
rangers receives _RocketGrunt_ from coloradoavalanche
rangers receives stormylullabye from coloradoavalanche
rangers receives Thebush121 from coloradoavalanche
rangers receives taylorrae33 from coloradoavalanche
rangers receives camco105 from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives MEGAMATTEOMAN from rangers
coloradoavalanche receives Robtachi from rangers
New York Rangers to receive New Mountain York.
detroitredwings receives guccigatana from newyorkislanders
newyorkislanders receives DeadWithMyFriends from detroitredwings
/NewYorkIslanders receive a girder from the old Joe Louis Arena
/DetroitRedWings receive the Southern Tier Brewing Company
tampabaylightning receives MooseKingdom from leafs
stlouisblues receives Ezflow from tampabaylightning
stlouisblues receives Bryce_Dead19 from tampabaylightning
stlouisblues receives Euroranger from stlouisblues
leafs receives Jimmers1231 from stlouisblues
leafs receives Bcakd5 from stlouisblues
bluejackets receives dylanr18 from bluejackets
bluejackets receives TheDanAplan from bluejackets
stlouisblues receives thecbjfan from bluejackets
leafs receives an official expression of gratitude from stlouisblues for Toronto's release of Tyler Bozak
hawks receives OleMissGoalie37 from coloradoavalanche
hawks receives HeelJopy from coloradoavalanche
hawks receives silentrenegade8 from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives Bragisson from hawks
Chicago to receive Rhein Haus.
stlouisblues receives wingsfan64 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives ContrastingWords from stlouisblues
/detroitredwings receive 2 clydesdales
/stlouisblues receive 2 Fiats.
flyers receives WhoaItsAFactorial from losangeleskings
losangeleskings receives SplendaMan from flyers
losangeleskings receives crafbicycle from flyers
flyers receives a bag of Mike Richards finest nose candy
losangeleskings receives Gritty's dealer's phone number
losangeleskings receives kenlane from newyorkislanders
losangeleskings receives auniqueusername1001 from newyorkislanders
newyorkislanders receives Branzilla91 from losangeleskings
newyorkislanders receives WhyAreYouGey from losangeleskings
newyorkislanders receives trippy2219 from losangeleskings
/NewYorkIslanders receive a Pau Gasol jersey
/LosAngelesKings receive a jug of that good Brooklyn Water
flyers receives RealmoftheRedWiings from detroitredwings
flyers receives RedWingFan5 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives carp_boy from flyers
detroitredwings receives KFC_Gaming from flyers
/detroitredwings receive Yuengling Brewery
/flyers receive otters Kalee and Sparky from the Detroit Zoo
coyotes receives JimmyRadRad from tampabaylightning
coyotes receives sdubz11 from tampabaylightning
coyotes receives vinnyv91 from tampabaylightning
coyotes receives PinHill from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives bonzaijoe from coyotes
TB receives: Some desert sand from Arizona + 1 live coyote
ARI receives: Some beach sand from Florida
predators receives m4xdc from coloradoavalanche
coloradoavalanche receives Forny008 from predators
Colorado Avalanche to receive Carrie "Carrie Underwood" Fisher at one home game.
Nashville Predators to receive two free Chevrolet Avalanches to smash as they see fit during the Stanley Cup Playoffs.
stlouisblues receives christinaann6 from penguins
penguins receives a promise that u/professorwhat won't make another edgy joke on stream
losangeleskings receives PhelpsTheory from canes
losangeleskings receives AStelthyNinja from canes
canes receives LABoston from losangeleskings
In addition, CAR receives a dozen Randy's donuts and a taco truck. LAK receives one storm surge wavier.
coloradoavalanche receives YouGot2BeKiddingMe from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives feedfatso1607 from coloradoavalanche
tampabaylightning receives Leumas_lheir from coloradoavalanche
tampabaylightning receives putinsukraine from coloradoavalanche
tampabaylightning receives stubborn11 from coloradoavalanche
COL receives: A jar of lightning that can be controlled and used to kill enemies
TB receives: An avalanche machine that trigger an avalanche wherever I want, once
bluejackets receives Something_319 from stlouisblues
bluejackets receives Euroranger from stlouisblues
stlouisblues receives TheDanAplan from bluejackets
stlouisblues receives dylanr18 from bluejackets
stlouisblues receives the entire The Drew Carey Show on Blu-Ray.
bluejackets receive the body of General William T. Sherman. At last reunited with Grant, acquired in an earlier trade, Ohio's great God-Kings shall be reinterred beneath Nationwide Arena, henceforth to watch over this city, this state, and this hockey team in eternal glory.
sabres receives TheConeOfShame805 from penguins
penguins receives NumberJ5 from sabres
sabres receives the Monongahela River and a grilled cheese sandwhich that the Penguins promise is actually a Philly cheesesteak
penguins also gives NumberJ5 his own personal bidet
goldenknights receives needuhlife19 from detroitredwings
goldenknights receives D3troiit from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives cookbacondrunknaked from goldenknights
/detroitredwings receive Ellis Island Hotel Casino & Brewery.
/goldenknights receive Tom Selleck's mustache
bluejackets receives Sh1eldbearer from detroitredwings
goldenknights receives RCX42 from bluejackets
Vegas acquires some Lake Effect from Columbus to help pond hockey in the desert
tampabaylightning receives bay_sports from sanjosesharks
tampabaylightning receives DontSayNoToPills from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives bonzaijoe from tampabaylightning
sanjosesharks receives XanoJester from tampabaylightning
devils receives Troub313 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Flowseidon9 from devils
detroitredwings receives corso923 from devils
/detroitredwings receive the Anheuser-Busch facility located in Newark.
sanjosesharks receives adam3vergreen from bluejackets
bluejackets receives sjs48 from sanjosesharks
bluejackets receives eggs-dee123 from sanjosesharks
caps receives brycer16 from flyers
caps receives AgelessWonder67 from flyers
caps receives FlackBox from flyers
flyers receives koalabear9301 from caps
flyers receives NotShibs from caps
flyers receives _Ghost8_ from caps
Philadelphia sends Jeff Francoeur to DC.
habs receives MOLightningBro from tampabaylightning
habs receives RandomBoltsFan from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives Davel_Patsyuk from habs
tampabaylightning receives christiv7 from habs
tampabaylightning receives Lander-V from habs
MTL receives: A meeting with the Yakuza
TB receives: The best poutine Quebec has to offer
habs receives spyingformontreal from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Notopdelta from habs
/detroitredwings receive Molson Coors Brewing Company.
/Habs receive an unreleased Eminem mixtape
devils receives hnglmkrnglbrry from bluejackets
bluejackets receives summervacationtoHoth from devils
bluejackets receives Danny_Devitos_Bitch from devils
bluejackets receives kingofthediamond from devils
bluejackets receives 4Bars_BlackFlag from devils
bluejackets receives Cyrus_Voltaire from devils
bluejackets receives Future Considerations and Snookie from devils
bluejackets acknowledges and endorses the Devils' famous Christmas Whites as the best in the Tri-State Area.
habs receives Angry_Walnut from goldenknights
goldenknights receives Instantcurry from habs
goldenknights receives killerb54 from habs
Vegas acquires Paccioretty's C
Montreal acquires Paccioretty's A
flyers receives JakeTheSnake0709 from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives NippleDickPussyBhole from flyers
flyers receives the Walterdale Bridge EdmontonOilers receive the opportunity to lick the Liberty Bell
caps receives Xenofon713 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives NKilmer6 from caps
/detroitredwings receive a bag of prison booze from The Central Detention Facility
sanjosesharks receives Softestpoop from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives infamousgenitals from sanjosesharks
edmontonoilers receives thegreatmomo14 from sanjosesharks
penguins receives ProjectPsion from bluejackets
penguins receives TheStigofKentucky from bluejackets
penguins receives Zebra_dan from bluejackets
bluejackets receives PenguinPride87 from penguins
bluejackets receives knucklepuck17 from penguins
bluejackets admits the Pirates will win another title before the Browns will
caps receives thatgoodmojo from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Xenofon713 from caps
/detroitredwings will be holding a press conference soon to honor Xenofon713 for coming back home...for good this time.
flyers receives safetide from losangeleskings
losangeleskings receives cdl5060 from flyers
flyers also receives a meeting with Snoop Dogg to explain what otters are to him
sanjosesharks receives plantedgreenfern from caps
sanjosesharks receives Roust_McGoust from caps
sanjosesharks receives SaxIsMyAxe1_ from caps
sanjosesharks receives Fireball827 from caps
sanjosesharks receives hokierange from caps
caps receives Sainthops from sanjosesharks
caps receives pachicola from sanjosesharks
caps receives bunnymcfoo from sanjosesharks
caps receives SurprisedCarlos from sanjosesharks
winnipegjets receives NarcoticTurkey from habs
habs receives finnishjetter from winnipegjets
Habs receive protection from finnishjetter sabotaging our hockey survivor plans for 2020
winnipegjets receives Spitfyre434 from sanjosesharks
winnipegjets receives lackingspoon from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives TrueNorthStrong1898 from winnipegjets
The Winnipeg Jets officially acknowledge that Northern California is better than Southern California.
winnipegjets receives Fixmy59bug from goldenknights
winnipegjets receives Hektorpascal from goldenknights
goldenknights receives biga204 from winnipegjets
goldenknights receives Kudgar from winnipegjets
stlouisblues receives Whydoesthisexist15 from canes
stlouisblues receives gene_scallop from canes
stlouisblues receives waltstrika from canes
stlouisblues receives canesfan556 from canes
stlouisblues receives fogger794 from canes
canes receives PM_Me_Things_Yo_Like from stlouisblues
canes receives TechDawg20 from stlouisblues
canes receives JazzPolice13 from stlouisblues
canes receives M_Shepard_89 from stlouisblues
canes receives jsmu2016 from stlouisblues
canes receives a buffet tray of T-Ravs, stlouisblues receives the Section 328 Podcast.
canucks receives DeathToHeretics from caps
hawks receives ainzooalg0wn from caps
caps receives thelaineranger from canucks
hawks receives jlennox__ from canucks
caps receives younggun92 from hawks
caps receives jamaicancovfefe from hawks
To Chicago: A pizza from We The Pizza (Toppings to be decided at a later date)
To DeathToHeretics: A Chicago Dog and Chicago Deep Dish Pizza to be taken with him to Vancouver
canucks receives ChronicBitRot from hawks
canucks receives ThirdTimesAnAlt from hawks
canucks receives SpeedyDolphin42 from hawks
hawks receives mephnick from canucks
winnipegjets receives darnfox from detroitredwings
winnipegjets receives akschreibs from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives PuckTheFreds from winnipegjets
/detroitredwings receive Half Pints Brewing Co.
/winnipegjets receive lockers from Joe Louis Arena, to be used as the overhead compartments
canucks receives jmorga33 from bluejackets
bluejackets receives offline_dude19 from canucks
canucks receives a bag of pucks from bluejackets , and promises to take them down to Seattle and use them to break Starbucks windows
losangeleskings receives sweetstrife from bluejackets
bluejackets receives Mootux from losangeleskings
bluejackets receives im_turning_into_moss from losangeleskings
bluejackets receives Bhelliom from losangeleskings
bluejackets receives Boii1209 from losangeleskings
bluejackets receives WorldRallyBlues from losangeleskings
The Rainbow Bar and Grill moved to Columbus. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame moved to Los Angeles. Harvey Weinstein lifetime banned from entering Ohio.
/sabres receives Mercpool87 from /penguins
/sabres receives DL757 from /penguins
/sabres receives armagev17 from /penguins
/penguins receives shadowzeak from /sabres
/penguins receives Uncle_Gazpacho from /sabres
penguins receives the city of Buffalo, and the Buffalo Bisons u/armagev17 receives a full NTC
hawks receives spicy-succ from newyorkislanders
hawks receives PracticallyCanadian7 from newyorkislanders
newyorkislanders receives IAmQueensBlvd31 from hawks
/NewYorkIslanders receive courtiebabe420's old Jay Cutler jersey
/Hawks receive TheBossJarhead's old John Tavares jersey
penguins receives cgreen727 from coyotes
coyotes receives BoBandy35 from penguins
coyotes receives TheStigofKentucky from penguins
coyotes receives brendan0305 from penguins
coyotes get Phil Kessel's old house for u/bonzaijoe
penguins get an old Phil Kessel hotdog wrapper for u/armagev17
coloradoavalanche receives Freaaak55 from sanjosesharks
sanjosesharks receives SlipperyInNet from coloradoavalanche
goldenknights receives AnAngryAnimal from wildhockey
goldenknights receives CommanderCorndog from wildhockey
wildhockey receives moosepile from goldenknights
Minnesota sends Mild hot sauce to Vegas. Vegas issues a written apology for having done it to GMCF so hard in the expansion draft
flyers receives pelliffe11 from devils
devils receives MrMeSeeds from flyers
Flyers also receive Apple Watch to log "fitness"
canucks receives thronelol from caps
canucks receives mataleon07 from caps
canucks receives camelCaseNoob from caps
caps receives IGotThisFromEbay from canucks
caps receives Crazymoney74 from canucks
caps receives spacppl from canucks
caps receives flyingsub from canucks
caps receives BraqAttack from canucks
bluejackets receives FewWatermelonlesson7 from wildhockey
wildhockey receives AntiPrince from bluejackets
Minnesota admits that they are not, in fact, Canadian. The Blue Jackets admit that the Cleveland Indians ownership is dumb and stupid.
goldenknights receives svartkonst from dallasstars
goldenknights receives scoutcjustice from dallasstars
goldenknights receives FuckItHaveAnUpvote from dallasstars
dallasstars receives Sumdood88 from goldenknights
And a promise to get Drokeep out of Philly
detroitredwings receives quantumking_ from wildhockey
detroitredwings receives Zushenko from wildhockey
wildhockey receives Detonation from detroitredwings
DET acquires: Burning Brothers Brewery
MIN acquires: 5 lbs of mackinac fudge
sabres receives TurtleWithATail from canucks
sabres receives MirandaGemini from canucks
canucks receives KEWLCactus from sabres
Vancouver receives both the American and Canadian sides of Niagara Falls.
Buffalo receives 2000 lbs of salmon (wild) and the rights to Seattle as a rival.
losangeleskings receives wyattgbert from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives Arelfel from losangeleskings
/detroitredwings receive Angel City Brewery
/losangeleskings receive a random parking lot attendant
penguins receives Dragarien from detroitredwings
penguins receives drock21023 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives byfugWIN from penguins
/detroitredwings receive Croakers Brewing
/penguins receive an old concession stand from Joe Louis Arena
detroitredwings receives Gamogi from edmontonoilers
detroitredwings receives LLbnjt99 from edmontonoilers
detroitredwings receives rdayrien from edmontonoilers
detroitredwings receives saltydingus from edmontonoilers
edmontonoilers receives Ohgodwhatisthisidont from detroitredwings
edmontonoilers receives iFuktUrMom from detroitredwings
edmontonoilers receives BylerTertuzzi from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives the Alley Kat Brewing Company.
habs receives NontransferableApe from bluejackets
bluejackets receives Toaster_Coaster from habs
bluejackets receives gryff_ from habs
hawks receives BoltsGoalieGirl from tampabaylightning
hawks receives DoinWhale from tampabaylightning
hawks receives xW52 from tampabaylightning
hawks receives KatWantsToBattle from tampabaylightning
hawks receives J_Mark13 from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives GRAIN_DIV_20 from hawks
tampabaylightning receives drmatt19 from hawks
tampabaylightning receives freezend from hawks
tampabaylightning receives burtsreynoldswrap from hawks
tampabaylightning receives keister_TM from hawks
TB receives: The best Chicago deep dish pizza for the staff + a shipment of Old Style
CHI receives: The best Cuban subs for the staff + a shipment of Yuengling
dallasstars receives Drokeep from flyers
flyers receives Sumdood88 from dallasstars
goldenknights agrees to renounce all present and future claims to Bryce Harper
dallasstars recieves Chance the Gila Monster from Vegas
tampabaylightning receives CluelessNuggetOfGold from detroitredwings
tampabaylightning receives canbehazardous from detroitredwings
tampabaylightning receives DarkRitNighthawk from detroitredwings
tampabaylightning receives SlenderSpenser from detroitredwings
tampabaylightning receives Datsyuk1998 from detroitredwings
detroitredwings receives westofvenus from tampabaylightning
detroitredwings receives SuperSniper4 from tampabaylightning
detroitredwings receives deeyaz from tampabaylightning
/detroitredwings receives Cigar City Brewing
/tampabaylightning receies a C8 Corvette in blue and a case of Vernors
goldenknights receives obelisk29 from tampabaylightning
goldenknights receives cm17cm17 from tampabaylightning
goldenknights receives MrTubzy from tampabaylightning
goldenknights receives justincase_2008 from tampabaylightning
goldenknights receives lorenzovonmaterhorn from tampabaylightning
tampabaylightning receives GhostlyPixel from goldenknights
tampabaylightning receives Hollywood_Zro from goldenknights
tampabaylightning receives WoomyNgyes from goldenknights
tampabaylightning receives Byers346 from goldenknights
tampabaylightning receives KelaSaar from goldenknights
TB receives: Tickets to a Vegas show to be named later
VGK receives: Future Considerations
submitted by DeadlineCommish to hockey [link] [comments]

Critic's Criticisms Part II: Canto Bight

This is the continuation of my series highlighting specific critic's criticisms of TLJ. Part I on Humor is here, which also details my reasoning for this mining operation. Here we are covering Canto Bight, and we have everything from run of the mill iodized stuff to hail-sized rock salt on display, so adjust your goggles accordingly.
Johnson overplays his hand occasionally — most notably an unnecessary sequence at the casino city of Canto Bight that goes straight from a political sermon into a plot hole
Ethan Sacks, New York Daily News - Fresh
The bad news is, this involves an unnecessary trip to a kind of casino planet that doesn’t really advance the story.
Bill Goodykoontz, Arizona Republic - Fresh
A scene in an opulent casino is easily the most painful yet in this new generation of Star Wars flicks, eliciting images of the green screen busy set pieces of the early-2000 franchise additions, enticing to the youngest members of the audience who need their stories overly padded with shiny spectacle.
Matt Oakes, Silver Screen Riot - Fresh
Boyega is a loveable hero, and his new compadre Rose (Kelly Marie Tran) is a nice addition. However, as much as it isn’t overbearing, their entire sub-plot is when the adventure loses steam. This moves the film away from where all the interest is – Luke. At this point, it becomes a little disjointed and unnecessary, never reaching a point of excitement required for a chunk of plot of this degree.
Cameron Frew, FrewFilm - Fresh
an extended digression with Finn and Rose that doesn’t end up counting for much plotwise
Bob Chipman, Moviebob Central - Fresh
Sadly, Boyega's Finn -- still an appealing character -- is saddled with a go-nowhere plot-line that has him and Resistance mechanic Rose show up at a space casino and cross paths with a rogue with a heart of a gold (or maybe just rogue?) played by Benicio Del Toro. There's the kernel of interesting idea there as we glimpse the socioeconomic underpinnings of this galaxy far, far away in a way we've never seen before, but it's a digression whose payoff doesn't warrant the build-up. And when you're already the longest Star Wars ever made (two and a half hours!), some snipping here and there might not have been a bad idea.
Zaki Hasan, Zaki's Corner - Fresh
I’m not a big fan of Finn and Rose’s side adventure, which has the air of a spinoff story being tacked onto the main narrative (probably to give Finn a purpose, since Rey is doing her own thing with Luke). Apart from showcasing the power of hope on a younger generation, it’s not as well integrated into the seams of the larger story as it could’ve been.
Tomas Trussow, The Lonely Film Critic - Fresh
It’s Finn’s mission which takes the film off on a diversion where it didn’t really need to go. There’s a lot of comedic hijinks involved in all of this which George Lucas would have excised from the first draft of anything he ever wrote.
Niall Browne, Movies in Focus - Fresh
Much of the Canto Bight sequence feels unnecessary
Molly Templeton, Eugene Weekly - Fresh
First, both prominent new characters Rose and DJ seemed shoe-horned in, and Rose especially doesn't seem to have a real place in this film nor does she add anything to be hopeful about in the future. And while both Rey and Poe fans will probably be pleased with where their characters go, Finn sort of takes a step back, as he is sent off on a side adventure that seems like second-tier Star Wars. It's a diversion that takes up a good portion of the film and really serves no purpose to the overall story...worse yet, it seems to contain some heavy-handed political messages not commonly found, at least not this blatantly, in the Star Wars universe. These are more than just quibbles too: Most fans will not be used to the slow, lumbering pace or the general unevenness of this film...especially coming on the heels of the action-packed pacing that JJ Abrams brought in Episode VII.
Tom Santilli, AXS.com - Fresh
There’s some stuff that feels extraneous (the whole Canto Bight sequence, which seems to exist to set up a new Lando-like character played by Benicio del Toro), and the cycle of attack and retreat — mostly retreat — gets a bit monotonous.
Rob Gonsalves, eFilmCritic.com - Fresh
Muchas de las situaciones se sienten forzadas e innecesarias (por ejemplo, la aventura de Finn y Rose, me parece innecesaria).
Ruben Peralta Rigaud, Cocalecas - Fresh
Their jaunt to the casino planet of Canto Bight serves little purpose besides introducing Del Toro, updating the cantina scene, and offering up a tired CGI chase scene that wouldn’t have looked out of place in Attack of the Clones. Kudos (maybe) to Johnson for introducing income inequality to the Star Wars universe, but the entire sequence feels rushed and shoehorned into an already long movie.
Pete Vonder Haar Houston Press - Fresh
The weakest of these is Finn's. It's briskly paced and full of action yes, but let's just say a casino is no cantina... Worse, it also sees him interacting with Prequel Trilogy levels of CGI critters.
Karl Puschmann, New Zealand Herald - Fresh
But the worst distraction “The Last Jedi” has to offer involves erstwhile Stormtrooper Finn (John Boyega) and a Resistance maintenance worker named Rose (Kelly Marie Tran), a subplot every bit as visually and narratively inept as Lucas’ prequels were taken as.
J. Olson, Cinemixtape - Rotten
Finn’s entire storyline could be cut and the film would be better off. As Finn was one of the driving-force leads of The Force Awakens and also a charming character, this is a disappointing development. His adventure is such a low point that it would not seem out of place in one of George Lucas’ efforts from between 1999 and 2005, and it serves little purpose to the film’s overall plot.
Alex Doenau, Trespass - Fresh
there’s too much going on in The Last Jedi, and a lot of it feels like filler. Besides the aforementioned, stalled-out space battle, there’s a clunky sequence in a casino that goes on far too long, a lot of distracting cameos, and new characters inhabited by Laura Dern and Benicio del Toro, who bring close to nothing to the proceedings.
Bob Grimm, Reno News and Review - Fresh
Finn and Rose (a new addition to the principal cast) distract the audience with an overlong and ultimately unnecessary side plot.
Richard Dove, International Business Times - Rotten
And this plotline feeds right into the absolutely unforgivably terrible subplot, which is the adventures of Finn (John Boyega) the cowardly ex-storm trooper, and Rose (Kelly Marie Tran), the class-conscious engineer, who go on a fetch quest that is every bit as pointless as the whole matter of the military nonsense, only even worse, because it hinges on terrible comedy, bad CGI, and a spectacularly horrible moment when Johnson stops the film in its tracks to provide a ruthlessly on-the-nose lesson about economic inequality and the military-industrial complex.
Tim Brayton, Alternate Ending - Rotten
Some of what happens on the casino planet — called Canto Bight, and sure to figure in the next film — is goofy on a level as cringe-inducing as things we saw in the prequel trilogy; like, Jar-Jar Binks–awful.
MaryAnn Johanson, Flick Filosopher - Fresh
Johnson does his best to hustle from one location to the next, but the narrative has a tendency from time to time to drag. The biggest example of this are the scenes on Canto Bight. Which is a shame, because a huge chunk of the film’s message is established on these scenes. But the very nature of the story, with its many moving parts, inadvertently makes this section of the film feel like a diversion.
Chris Evangelista, Slashfilm - Fresh
The humour is kind of sour in other places, too, such as the silly neo-cantina scene as Finn and Rose track the whereabouts of a mysterious encrypter, who might be the rebellion’s last hope, into a sort of galactic Monte Carlo. The abundance of slapstick there and in other parts of the film doesn’t click and feels forced.
Diva Velez, TheDivaReview.com - Fresh
In an unnecessary and quite frankly preposterous third subplot, Finn (John Boyega) and a new character, Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran), race against the clock to locate an underworld figure who can help them neutralise the First Order’s tracking device, thus allowing the diminished rebel fleet to escape.
Vicky Roach, Daily Telegraph (Australia) - Rotten
Weak points come with awkward humour that lacks comedic rhythm and an unnecessary casino escapade, where a disposable underworld character DJ (Benicio del Toro) is introduced, that subsequently soft lens into what is essentially a children's adventure tale about animals
Craig Takeuchi, Georgia Straight - Fresh
Unfortunately, we keep getting dragged away from the only emotionally resonant portion of the film to watch Finn and Rose engage in sub-prequel hijinks on the casino planet. Everything here is forced and awful, visually uninteresting and often dark to the point of unwatchability, lousy with mawkish little kids making bug eyes at the camera as we marvel at the horror of economic inequality, and drowned in an atrocious patina of truly terrible CGI. It calls to mind the droid factory in Attack of the Clones and the pre-podrace sequence in The Phantom Menace. Most offensively, the whole Finn/Rose diversion has absolutely no importance to the forward momentum of the plot—it's utterly irrelevant, even nonsensical.
Sonny Bunch, Washington Free Beacon - Rotten
Not everything in the film works: a few of the goofier comic moments fail to land and true to the legacy of Lucas there’s a fair amount of eye-wincing dialogue. More importantly, the second act bows under the weight of too many narrative strands; Finn’s away mission comes off as a bit superfluous, as does Laura Dern’s Vice Admiral Holdo, and both Rose and the beloved Chewbacca (Joonas Suotamo) are sadly underwritten. In a trade-off that brings scope and complexity, Johnson has sacrificed narrative efficiency.
Christopher Machell, CineVue - Fresh
I didn't like the sequence in a casino--a callback to the Star Wars Cantina, of course, but also a chance to discuss the evils of war profiteers and the 1%. There are creatures there, there's slapstick, there's a heist of sorts, and it all harks back to my favourite of Johnson's films, The Brothers Bloom, in the interplay between the characters, in the lightness and clarity of the scheme. But it's tonally disruptive, and it introduces a trio of children who seem like part of a different film.
Walter Chaw, Film Freak Central - Fresh
Finn and Rose’s trip to a gambling planet – basically a space Monaco – flits between light fun and on-the-nose political narrative.
Richard Whittaker, Austin Chronicle - Fresh
It also begs the question why the space casino sequence, arguably the least relevant to the core story, wasn’t dramatically trimmed back. Aside from a throwaway final shot, this section of the film is the weakest – designed to depict profiteering space-capitalism run rampant (ironically, also depicting a stable of space-horses also running rampant).
Patrick Kolan, Shotgun Cinema - Fresh
But as ingenious as this setup may be, it also gives rise to the film's most pointless subplot. After waking from his coma, Finn (John Boyega) contrives a means by which he can disable the New Order's tracking device, albeit one that requires him to sneak off the fleeing vessel, travel to a Monaco-styled casino planet, track down a master codebreaker and infiltrate the enemy's warship undetected. This enormous MacGuffin sees Boyega partnered with the charming Kelly Marie Tran as Rose Tico, a Resistance engineer low in status but high in pluck. The problem is that their side adventure does absolutely nothing to advance the actual story.
Tom Glasson, Concrete Playground - Fresh
Unfortunately, John Boyega’s Finn, Oscar Isaac’s Poe and Kelly Marie Tran—as Finn’s new partner-in-rebellion Rose—are given the equivalent of busywork while the rest of the cast moves the plot along.
Simon Miraudo, Student Edge - Fresh
A detour to a casino planet where Finn and a resistance mechanic named Rose (Kelly Marie Tran) search for a codebreaker to help them disrupt the First Order's tracking of the retreating resistance ships feels like a trip into another movie. The stakes here seem far lower than the live-or-die scenario facing Poe, General Leia Organa (the late Carrie Fisher) and the others trying to make their getaway.
Greg Maki Star-Democrat (Easton, MD) Fresh
The only characters not doing a huge amount of growing are Finn (John Boyega) and mechanic Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran), and not for nothing, their subplot opens up a momentum drain that is the only weakness in The Last Jedi. Boyega and Tran are perfectly enjoyable, and their subplot isn’t a complete waste of time, but you start to feel the length of The Last Jedi when it veers off with them, and Finn’s arc is a pale echo of Poe’s so it’s not like much is being accomplished.
Sarah Marrs Lainey Gossip Fresh
Rey’s journey toward learning the ways of the Jedi is far more entertaining than Finn’s convoluted (and ultimately pointless) storyline
Josh Bell Las Vegas Weekly Fresh
Rose’s character is front and center in the film’s weakest sequences. We’re diverted to a city where the worst of the worst frolic. No, not the usual hives of scum and villainy. It’s a casino where the very, very rich cavort. The evil One Percenters! If you’re not immediately yanked out of the story here you deserve a prize. The accompanying dialogue is equally clunky, as is the reason all these vapid souls gained their fortunes.
Christian Toto, HollywoodInToto.com - Rotten
Far less successful is the time spent with the rebels on the run from Hux and the First Order. Not only is it centered on the slowest space chase in sci-fi history, but subplots featuring Poe, Finn (John Boyega), and Rose (newcomer Kelly Marie Tran) go absolutely nowhere. Sure we get introduced to DJ (Benicio Del Toro) and Vice Admiral Holdo (Laura Dern), but it’s with actions that fail to connect either through sheer stupidity or the simple truth that their absence wouldn’t change the story in the slightest. They’re obvious filler, and as is the Disney way (witness their Marvel films) the studio’s never met a character that couldn’t be jammed into a movie for no reason other than the misguided belief that more is better. Finn and Rose’s adventure in particular offers some additional action beats and a visit to a casino — think the Mos Eisley Cantina scene from Star Wars, but for the 1% — but it is meaningless noise.
Rob Hunter, Film School Rejects - Fresh
Meanwhile, what feels too much like the “B plot” side adventure has Finn and Rose on a mission that takes them into another film entirely, a sort of intergalactic James Bond-meets-Free Willy. It’s hard not to feel that their entire subplot could be axed in order to make The Last Jedi stronger and tighter, which is unfortunate.
Kaila Hale-Stern, The Mary Sue - Fresh
There is a whole section that feels out of kilter and harks back to the CGI naffness of the prequels — and is also virtually pointless to the plot.
Jamie East, The Sun (UK) - Fresh
The film’s epic 150-minute runtime allows plenty of room for Johnson’s inventiveness, but there’s also a tiny bit of fat in the middle of the movie, specifically in the Canto Bight scenes with Finn and Rose. The casino city itself is gorgeous and has some crazy-cool characters, plus Finn and Rose’s presence there shines a light on some new, worthwhile themes for the Star Wars franchise. However, in terms of the overall story, the whole escapade feels a little pointless and small. It doesn’t help that Benicio del Toro’s new character, DJ, who is part of the same storyline, is largely insignificant.
Germain Lussier, io9.com - Fresh
Star Wars: The Last Jedi does have a clear weak spot -- specifically the side plot that develops between Finn (John Boyega) and newly-introduced Resistance member Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran). Following a genuinely funny meet-up between the two characters, they are given their own special mission searching for a codebreaker who can assist in the battle against the First Order. But this storyline never feels particularly inspired or impactful as everything else going down in the movie. While it is constructed to fit with the larger themes of the film, features its own interesting expectation-flipping turns, and does eventually have a key impact on the macro scale, it's also the only part of the feature that ever feels expendable, and not helping anything is that it features the weakest visual effects of the blockbuster (especially during a second-act chase sequence).
Eric Eisenberg, CinemaBlend - Fresh
Finn and Rose’s mission takes them to Canto Bight, a kind of Monte Carlo peopled by extras from Babylon 5, and feels like it is just ticking the Weird Alien Bar box started by the Cantina. A ride on space horses also feels like a needless diversion, as does Benicio Del Toro’s space rogue, whose strange, laconic presence never really makes its mark.
Ian Freer, Empire Magazine - Fresh
It’s a shame, then, that the righteousness of Finn and Rose’s place in the film is undermined slightly by the limpness of their mission. Perhaps feeling there had to be some kind of Mos Eisley–esque sequence in the film, Johnson sends the pair to a casino city full of all kinds of creatures. It’s fun, sure, but the whole operation ultimately turns out to be a red herring. At least there’s some nice musing on liberation during this stretch, reminding us of the real stakes of this long story—freedom is, after all, what the Empire denies and the Rebel Alliance promises. And in a gorgeous third-act sequence—which includes the film’s true Empire Strikes Back homage—Finn and Rose finally get the emboldened moments they deserve. I just wish they fit more integrally into the central thesis of the film, that they were just as special, in their way, as Rey is, glinting with messianic power as she ascends.
Richard Lawson, Vanity Fair - Fresh
Of the three simultaneous plots, it’s Finn’s that sometimes drags down the energy, particularly with an introduction of a shady thief played by Benicio del Toro, the only new addition to the cast that doesn’t quite work; he seems to be acting in his own private movie, and it’s not as good as this one.
Will Leitch Paste Magazine - Fresh
Where the film struggles the most is on Canto Bight. Taken on her own, Rose isn’t a bad addition to the Star Wars mythos, and the movie definitely needs someone to play against Finn. Unfortunately, they lack the electric chemistry we saw between Finn and Rey in The Force Awakens, and their secret mission in a casino feels like it should be far more entertaining than it actually is.
Matt Goldberg, Collider - Fresh
Some action sequences are superfluous and unengaging. Benicio del Toro all but cameos as a sort of hobo hustler, while John Boyega’s Finn is sidelined, relegated to relatively inconsequential hi-jinx.
Alex Godfrey, GQ Magazine [UK] - Fresh
Finn (John Boyega) and newcomer Rose (Kelly Marie Tran) attempt an espionage mission that takes them to what is the Star Wars equivalent of the French Riviera. It’s a casino city named Canto Bight, and their adventures here push the Rick’s Café sensibilities from the original Star Wars’ cantina sequence to their limit. Nevertheless, this entire subplot amounts to a whole lot of padding while the real tough and revelatory decisions are made on Ahch-To.
David Crow, Den of Geek - Fresh
Plot-wise, I felt the entire side story at the casino world of Canto Bight was unnecessary. If you cut the entire sequence out of the film, it would have little impact on the core narrative.
Scott Chitwood ComingSoon.net - Fresh
Finn (John Boyega) wakes up, meets a admiring fan down in maintenance named Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran) and they head off on their own adventure, a detour that somehow combines the louche slickness of Cloud City and moralizing at its most Disney.
Joe Gross, Austin American-Statesman - Fresh
But The Last Jedi’s two-and-half-hour sprawl still includes an awful lot of clunky, derivative, and largely unnecessary incidents to wade through in order to get to its maverick last act. This is especially true when it comes to the plausibility-straining mission of stormtrooper turned Rebel Alliance fighter Finn (John Boyega) and puckish series newcomer Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran).
Sam C. Mac, Slant Magazine - Rotten
There are a couple of big names that fail to deliver much aside from, perhaps, realizing their childhood dreams of being in a “Star Wars” movie. A trip to a city that might as well be called Space Macau also fails to pay many dividends.
Christopher Lawrence, Las Vegas Review-Journal - Fresh
Case in point is the plot involving Finn (John Boyega) and new hero Rose's (Kelly Marie Tran) McGuffinesque mission to Canto Bight, which is of the ashtray-on-a-speederbike variety, and takes away from the tension cranked up elsewhere.
Harry Guerin, RTÉ (Ireland) - Fresh
The remaining 20% is made up of two different locales, one of which is entirely superfluous to the story. Essentially, there is a subplot that introduces Benicio del Toro’s mysterious work of eccentricity, except it doesn’t really do much of interest with him. Admittedly, it feels as if the character could be destined for bigger things in the final chapter, but I can only go off of what I watched, and well, the middle portion of The Last Jedi is stuck in the furthest setting from lightspeed. The journey expands to a space-Vegas full of various alien life forms and inhabitants, but it’s not as visually striking as previously explored planets. Additionally, by design, there seems to be filler injected simply because the other characters need things to do while Rey accomplishes what she needs to with Luke.
Robert Kojder, Flickering Myth - Fresh
The scenes on Canto Bight seemed like an unnecessary divert for Rose (a new character I actually really like) and Finn. This “casino planet” was like a scene right out of a low-budget Sy-Fy channel movie shot in Vancouver. It felt too familiar and earthbound to be a scene in an other-worldly scene in a Star Wars movie. The Rose/Finn alien horse race through the casino that ruined the galactic one-percenters good time and did some property damage was just ridiculous and should have been cut. Rose and Finn flopping around on the alien horse just looked like a bad theme park ride.
Chris Gore, Film Threat - Fresh
There’s a lengthy diversion to the casino planet of Canto Bight that feels pointless and tacked on just for the sake of giving us a cool new corner of the galaxy to feast our eyes on.
Chris Nashawaty, Entertainment Weekly - Fresh
And that's it for Part II. Happy Holidays to all my fellow fans and miners! Next week I will conclude with Part III, which will cover- well, let's just say it's the longest of this series by far. Heh.
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List of Professional Critics' Criticisms of TLJ

Part 1/3: https://www.reddit.com/saltierthancrait/comments/a7tzug/critics_criticisms_part_i_humo
Part 2/3: https://www.reddit.com/saltierthancrait/comments/a91mnv/critics_criticisms_part_ii_canto_bight/
Part 3/3: https://www.reddit.com/saltierthancrait/comments/aahmu6/critics_criticisms_part_iii_length/

Part 1/3

Critic's Criticisms Part I: Humor

A few months ago I completed a read through of all ~400 TLJ reviews on RT(now up to ~415). It was painfully boring at times, but that's salt mining for you. I wanted to get a handle on the critical reception which is commonly cited as universal praise. While it's generally true that critics loved TLJ, they also had some criticisms that would be right at home here at STC, and these come from super experienced and intellectual film critics, so they have to be valid, right? After all, these people know so much more about film than a layperson. They can fully evaluate a film on countless criteria that average fans don't comprehend. /s, but you see where I'm going here: many TLJ fans have put critics on a pedestal, as if their opinion is somehow more valuable as a baseline for TLJ's quality. So what about when critics are echoing our own criticisms of TLJ?
Almost every criticism we have lobbed at this movie was shared by at least a few critics, but there were three main criticisms that stood out as the most common. I'll start this series with humor in TLJ.
Peter Debruge, Variety -Fresh
Luke is funnier than we’ve ever seen him — a personality change that betrays how “Star Wars” has been influenced by industry trends. Though the series has always been self-aware enough to crack jokes, it now gives in to the same winking self-parody that is poisoning other franchises of late, from the Marvel movies to “Pirates of the Caribbean.” But it begs the question: If movies can’t take themselves seriously, why should audiences?
Harrison Ford was a good enough actor, and Han Solo an aloof enough character, that he could get away with it, but here, the laughs feel forced — as does the appearance of cuddly critters on each new planet.
Todd McCarthy, Hollywood Reporter -Fresh
General Hux, who's goofily played by Domhnall Gleeson as if he were acting in a Monty Pythonesque parody
Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger -Fresh
humor is not only prevalent but often turned, mockingly, on the self-serious mythology of the whole saga. Sometimes there are too many jokes; certainly there's an overabundance of cutesy aliens.
Niall Browne, Movies in Focus -Fresh
It’s Finn’s mission which takes the film off on a diversion where it didn’t really need to go. There’s a lot of comedic hijinks involved in all of this which George Lucas would have excised from the first draft of anything he ever wrote.
There’s more humour in The Last Jedi than previous Star Wars movies; some of it hits, some of it doesn’t. The much publicised Porgs work for a moment or two, but they outstay their welcome. The film drew to a halt too many times to show-odd cute creatures. I didn’t care for the crystal wolves during the climatic battle and the aforementioned space Llamas feel like they belong in a Disney movie (wait, this is a Disney movie!)
Rendy Jones, Rendy Reviews -Fresh
"The Last Jedi" is a movie that follows elements of other Star Wars movies that works on its own but feels so similar to a Marvel film because the first half of this movie is a comedy. Seriously a lot of the first half of the movie has a silly vibe amongst all the death and destruction that surrounds it. It desperately tries to be a parody of itself by making serious situations comedic.
Ruben Rosario, MiamiArtZine -Fresh
Much has also been made of “Jedi's” jarring tonal shifts. Johnson inserts broad humor, then abruptly makes things serious, then back again to goofy content.
Christopher Llewellyn Reed, Film Festival Today -Fresh
[Kylo's] partner in evil, Domnhall Gleeson, as General Hux, is less fine, though much of the problem stems not so much from the actor as from the tonally strange, abusively co-dependent relationship between the two men; their jokey rapport feels like it belongs in a very different movie.
Alex Doenau, Trespass -Fresh
However, from the beginning there’s a discordant sense of humour that’s somewhat counter to the series’ ethos to date: rather than funny situations rising organically in the script, many of the characters openly seem to be making jokes. It’s how we introduce Poe this go-round, and it feels slightly off.
Owen Richards, The Arts Desk -Fresh
There’s a surprising amount of comedy in the film, quite a bit at the expense of beloved characters or series law; it’s funny, but not respectful.
Tim Brayton , Alternate Ending -Rotten
The Last Jedi has an impressively poor batting average for its jokes: it opens with a vengefully dumb "I have a bad phone connection" bit that put me on the movie's bad side basically as soon as it had a side to be on, and it's not exactly all uphill from there.
James Kendrick, Q Network Film Desk -Fresh
Sometimes, however, his proclivities come at the film’s expense, such as his penchant for inserting quippy humor, sarcasm, and sight gags at odd times, which often undercuts the drama or simply smacks of too much effort.
Craig Takeuchi, Georgia Straight -Fresh
Weak points come with awkward humour that lacks comedic rhythm and an unnecessary casino escapade, where a disposable underworld character DJ (Benicio del Toro) is introduced, that subsequently soft lens into what is essentially a children's adventure tale about animals.
Rob Dean, Bullz-Eye.com -Fresh
Further pushing the disconnect is that the script is far too self-aware, constantly making the sort of jokes that nerds have been making about “Star Wars” for decades, as if it’s too cool to purely accept itself on its own merits. The comedy works about half the time, but there are a ton of jokes in this film that underscore all of the overly serious talk of hope that populates the movie.
Sonny Bunch, Washington Free Beacon - Rotten
Johnson tries too hard on the humor front. Just one, brief, example: The whole opening sequences involves Poe doing conference call shtick while trolling Admiral Hux (Domhnall Gleeson). It's weirdly un-Star-Wars in the sense that it feels like something you could see on any dreadful sitcom here on planet Earth; this sequence is more fit for The Big Bang Theory than a supposedly dark entry in the Star Wars canon. The Star Wars movies have always been funny, of course, and there are moments when Johnson makes it work in a Star-Wars-sort-of-way. On the whole, though, it feels desperate and forced.
Avi Offer, NYC Movie Guru - Rotten
Johnson's screenplay awkwardly blend action and drama with comedy and little bit of tacked-on romance. One particular scene involving an image that's not what it initially appears to be comes out of nowhere and feels like it belongs in a parody of Star Wars even though it does generate laughter.
Tom Glasson, Concrete Playground -Fresh
With more gags, one-liners and quirky moments than all the other Star Wars films combined, The Last Jedi introduces a levity to the staid franchise in the vein of Roger Moore's turn as post-Connery Bond. At times it works, even to the point of guffaws, but ultimately the humour feels misplaced. In a story where loss abounds and crushing defeat looms large at every turn, the repeated cutaways to doe-eyed porgs purring like extras from a Pixar film distract more than they entertain. So, too, does Domhnall Gleeson, whose character General Hux plays more like a parody of a Star Wars villain. As a result, both the New Order and the film itself are robbed of their most enduring menace: the Empire.
Brian Orndorf, Blu-ray.com -Fresh
In “The Last Jedi,” we watch Poe poke at Hux, who’s been turned into a buffoon for the new film, teasing him by faking communication issues and sharing an opinion about his mother. It’s the first of many awkward attempts at humor from Johnson, who isn’t known for funny business
Kevin McCarthy, WTTG-TV -Fresh
The first act of the film features major pacing issues combined with unnecessary comedic moments that ultimately hurt the tone of the film. Unfortunately, a lot of this comes from Mark Hamill’s Luke Skywalker character.
Jonathan W. Hickman, Daily Film Fix -Fresh
I found myself frustrated that the tone was comedy and sometimes almost veered into parody.
Everything else is jokes and comedic references with a side of cheese. I found myself shaking my head more than laughing along.
Ray Greene, CineGods.com - Rotten
But it also doesn’t feel quite right — the language, the iconography, the weirdly campy humor at the beginning — it doesn’t feel a part of the Star Wars universe.
Josh Bell, Las Vegas Weekly -Fresh
The less said about the awkward attempts at comic relief, the better.
Matt Looker, TheShiznit.co.uk -Fresh
the comedy - and there is plenty of it - is spread out more evenly across the whole cast. In the case of Domhnall Gleeson's Hux, this becomes a good opportunity to poke fun at the horribly hammy performance he gave in The Force Awakens. But when he is playing those laughs off against his only foil - Kylo Ren - Johnson threatens to undermine their status as epic villains.
Christian Toto, HollywoodInToto.com - Rotten
Johnson drops plenty of cutesy comic moments into the mix, some of which would make even George Lucas blush. What was passable in 1977 no longer flies as easily today. And a franchise as esteemed as this one deserves richer comic relief.
Mark Hughes, Forbes -Fresh
The first act's humor is the shakiest, with some gags seeming more like something out of a Star Wars satire. The tone and irreverence of it was out of place, and a couple of bits went on one or two beats too long.
Scott Menzel, We Live Entertainment -Fresh
Speaking of laughs, the jokes and humor just fall flat. The jokes seemed out of place or were just so “on the nose” that I couldn’t help but be annoyed by them. I feel like the modern day humor didn’t feel the tone of the story and yet Johnson kept trying to lighten the mood by adding in cheesy jokes that weren’t even remotely amusing but instead were rather cringe-worthy.
Kevin Jagernauth The Playlist -Fresh
In the pursuit of providing some buoyancy to the picture, Johnson wields comedy like a sword, but it’s unfortunately the weakest element of the film. “Star Wars” has always been home to plenty of cornball one liners, and comedic passages, but there’s a delicacy to how they’re employed and delivered that allows them to land….or simply fall flat. Far too often, it’s the latter outcome in this picture, with some of the laughs feeling underwritten or simply shoehorned in. There’s a distinct lack of cleverness to the wit employed here — think something as seemingly spontaneous as BB-8’s “thumbs up” in ‘The Force Awakens’ — and while the gags don’t grind the picture to a halt, there are certainly some awkward patches where the expected laughs don’t materialize.
Rob Hunter, Film School Rejects -Fresh
The film is a series of points both high and low, and it’s nowhere more clear than in the humor. Several beats work well to bring a smile, but others fall tone deaf to the carnage and pain surrounding them. From the very beginning Hux’s scenes are made to feel like lost reels from Mel Brooks’ Spaceballs, and poor Boyega can’t catch a break as Finn is saddled with lame one-liners at every turn.
Alex Godfrey, GQ Magazine [UK] -Fresh
It’s funny, though not always when you want it to be – perhaps fearing too much gravitas, Johnson undermines it a little too often.
Robert Kojder, Flickering Myth -Fresh
Rian Johnson has crafted an installment that largely defies saga standard narrative structure and tone. There is a quick comedic dialogue exchange in the beginning between Oscar Isaac’s fighter pilot Poe Dameron and Domhnall Gleeson’s First Order General Hux that falls in line with the brand of humor Disney and Marvel inject into that particular cinematic universe.
John Serba, MLive.com -Fresh
Some stabs at comedy feel overwrought and clunky, including a stint on a ritzy planet of war profiteers, an extended sequence of skillfully directed silliness destined to be beloved fodder for apologists only.
Up next is Part II: Canto Bight.

Part 2/3

Critic's Criticisms Part II: Canto Bight

This is the continuation of my series highlighting specific critic's criticisms of TLJ. Part I on Humor is here, which also details my reasoning for this mining operation. Here we are covering Canto Bight, and we have everything from run of the mill iodized stuff to hail-sized rock salt on display, so adjust your goggles accordingly.
Johnson overplays his hand occasionally — most notably an unnecessary sequence at the casino city of Canto Bight that goes straight from a political sermon into a plot hole
Ethan Sacks, New York Daily News - Fresh
The bad news is, this involves an unnecessary trip to a kind of casino planet that doesn’t really advance the story.
Bill Goodykoontz, Arizona Republic - Fresh
A scene in an opulent casino is easily the most painful yet in this new generation of Star Wars flicks, eliciting images of the green screen busy set pieces of the early-2000 franchise additions, enticing to the youngest members of the audience who need their stories overly padded with shiny spectacle.
Matt Oakes, Silver Screen Riot - Fresh
Boyega is a loveable hero, and his new compadre Rose (Kelly Marie Tran) is a nice addition. However, as much as it isn’t overbearing, their entire sub-plot is when the adventure loses steam. This moves the film away from where all the interest is – Luke. At this point, it becomes a little disjointed and unnecessary, never reaching a point of excitement required for a chunk of plot of this degree.
Cameron Frew, FrewFilm - Fresh
an extended digression with Finn and Rose that doesn’t end up counting for much plotwise
Bob Chipman, Moviebob Central - Fresh
Sadly, Boyega's Finn -- still an appealing character -- is saddled with a go-nowhere plot-line that has him and Resistance mechanic Rose show up at a space casino and cross paths with a rogue with a heart of a gold (or maybe just rogue?) played by Benicio Del Toro. There's the kernel of interesting idea there as we glimpse the socioeconomic underpinnings of this galaxy far, far away in a way we've never seen before, but it's a digression whose payoff doesn't warrant the build-up. And when you're already the longest Star Wars ever made (two and a half hours!), some snipping here and there might not have been a bad idea.
Zaki Hasan, Zaki's Corner - Fresh
I’m not a big fan of Finn and Rose’s side adventure, which has the air of a spinoff story being tacked onto the main narrative (probably to give Finn a purpose, since Rey is doing her own thing with Luke). Apart from showcasing the power of hope on a younger generation, it’s not as well integrated into the seams of the larger story as it could’ve been.
Tomas Trussow, The Lonely Film Critic - Fresh
It’s Finn’s mission which takes the film off on a diversion where it didn’t really need to go. There’s a lot of comedic hijinks involved in all of this which George Lucas would have excised from the first draft of anything he ever wrote.
Niall Browne, Movies in Focus - Fresh
Much of the Canto Bight sequence feels unnecessary
Molly Templeton, Eugene Weekly - Fresh
First, both prominent new characters Rose and DJ seemed shoe-horned in, and Rose especially doesn't seem to have a real place in this film nor does she add anything to be hopeful about in the future. And while both Rey and Poe fans will probably be pleased with where their characters go, Finn sort of takes a step back, as he is sent off on a side adventure that seems like second-tier Star Wars. It's a diversion that takes up a good portion of the film and really serves no purpose to the overall story...worse yet, it seems to contain some heavy-handed political messages not commonly found, at least not this blatantly, in the Star Wars universe. These are more than just quibbles too: Most fans will not be used to the slow, lumbering pace or the general unevenness of this film...especially coming on the heels of the action-packed pacing that JJ Abrams brought in Episode VII.
Tom Santilli, AXS.com - Fresh
There’s some stuff that feels extraneous (the whole Canto Bight sequence, which seems to exist to set up a new Lando-like character played by Benicio del Toro), and the cycle of attack and retreat — mostly retreat — gets a bit monotonous.
Rob Gonsalves, eFilmCritic.com - Fresh
Muchas de las situaciones se sienten forzadas e innecesarias (por ejemplo, la aventura de Finn y Rose, me parece innecesaria).
Ruben Peralta Rigaud, Cocalecas - Fresh
Their jaunt to the casino planet of Canto Bight serves little purpose besides introducing Del Toro, updating the cantina scene, and offering up a tired CGI chase scene that wouldn’t have looked out of place in Attack of the Clones. Kudos (maybe) to Johnson for introducing income inequality to the Star Wars universe, but the entire sequence feels rushed and shoehorned into an already long movie.
Pete Vonder Haar Houston Press - Fresh
The weakest of these is Finn's. It's briskly paced and full of action yes, but let's just say a casino is no cantina... Worse, it also sees him interacting with Prequel Trilogy levels of CGI critters.
Karl Puschmann, New Zealand Herald - Fresh
But the worst distraction “The Last Jedi” has to offer involves erstwhile Stormtrooper Finn (John Boyega) and a Resistance maintenance worker named Rose (Kelly Marie Tran), a subplot every bit as visually and narratively inept as Lucas’ prequels were taken as.
J. Olson, Cinemixtape - Rotten
Finn’s entire storyline could be cut and the film would be better off. As Finn was one of the driving-force leads of The Force Awakens and also a charming character, this is a disappointing development. His adventure is such a low point that it would not seem out of place in one of George Lucas’ efforts from between 1999 and 2005, and it serves little purpose to the film’s overall plot.
Alex Doenau, Trespass - Fresh
there’s too much going on in The Last Jedi, and a lot of it feels like filler. Besides the aforementioned, stalled-out space battle, there’s a clunky sequence in a casino that goes on far too long, a lot of distracting cameos, and new characters inhabited by Laura Dern and Benicio del Toro, who bring close to nothing to the proceedings.
Bob Grimm, Reno News and Review - Fresh
Finn and Rose (a new addition to the principal cast) distract the audience with an overlong and ultimately unnecessary side plot.
Richard Dove, International Business Times - Rotten
And this plotline feeds right into the absolutely unforgivably terrible subplot, which is the adventures of Finn (John Boyega) the cowardly ex-storm trooper, and Rose (Kelly Marie Tran), the class-conscious engineer, who go on a fetch quest that is every bit as pointless as the whole matter of the military nonsense, only even worse, because it hinges on terrible comedy, bad CGI, and a spectacularly horrible moment when Johnson stops the film in its tracks to provide a ruthlessly on-the-nose lesson about economic inequality and the military-industrial complex.
Tim Brayton, Alternate Ending - Rotten
Some of what happens on the casino planet — called Canto Bight, and sure to figure in the next film — is goofy on a level as cringe-inducing as things we saw in the prequel trilogy; like, Jar-Jar Binks–awful.
MaryAnn Johanson, Flick Filosopher - Fresh
Johnson does his best to hustle from one location to the next, but the narrative has a tendency from time to time to drag. The biggest example of this are the scenes on Canto Bight. Which is a shame, because a huge chunk of the film’s message is established on these scenes. But the very nature of the story, with its many moving parts, inadvertently makes this section of the film feel like a diversion.
Chris Evangelista, Slashfilm - Fresh
The humour is kind of sour in other places, too, such as the silly neo-cantina scene as Finn and Rose track the whereabouts of a mysterious encrypter, who might be the rebellion’s last hope, into a sort of galactic Monte Carlo. The abundance of slapstick there and in other parts of the film doesn’t click and feels forced.
Diva Velez, TheDivaReview.com - Fresh
In an unnecessary and quite frankly preposterous third subplot, Finn (John Boyega) and a new character, Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran), race against the clock to locate an underworld figure who can help them neutralise the First Order’s tracking device, thus allowing the diminished rebel fleet to escape.
Vicky Roach, Daily Telegraph (Australia) - Rotten
Weak points come with awkward humour that lacks comedic rhythm and an unnecessary casino escapade, where a disposable underworld character DJ (Benicio del Toro) is introduced, that subsequently soft lens into what is essentially a children's adventure tale about animals
Craig Takeuchi, Georgia Straight - Fresh
Unfortunately, we keep getting dragged away from the only emotionally resonant portion of the film to watch Finn and Rose engage in sub-prequel hijinks on the casino planet. Everything here is forced and awful, visually uninteresting and often dark to the point of unwatchability, lousy with mawkish little kids making bug eyes at the camera as we marvel at the horror of economic inequality, and drowned in an atrocious patina of truly terrible CGI. It calls to mind the droid factory in Attack of the Clones and the pre-podrace sequence in The Phantom Menace. Most offensively, the whole Finn/Rose diversion has absolutely no importance to the forward momentum of the plot—it's utterly irrelevant, even nonsensical.
Sonny Bunch, Washington Free Beacon - Rotten
Not everything in the film works: a few of the goofier comic moments fail to land and true to the legacy of Lucas there’s a fair amount of eye-wincing dialogue. More importantly, the second act bows under the weight of too many narrative strands; Finn’s away mission comes off as a bit superfluous, as does Laura Dern’s Vice Admiral Holdo, and both Rose and the beloved Chewbacca (Joonas Suotamo) are sadly underwritten. In a trade-off that brings scope and complexity, Johnson has sacrificed narrative efficiency.
Christopher Machell, CineVue - Fresh
I didn't like the sequence in a casino--a callback to the Star Wars Cantina, of course, but also a chance to discuss the evils of war profiteers and the 1%. There are creatures there, there's slapstick, there's a heist of sorts, and it all harks back to my favourite of Johnson's films, The Brothers Bloom, in the interplay between the characters, in the lightness and clarity of the scheme. But it's tonally disruptive, and it introduces a trio of children who seem like part of a different film.
Walter Chaw, Film Freak Central - Fresh
Finn and Rose’s trip to a gambling planet – basically a space Monaco – flits between light fun and on-the-nose political narrative.
Richard Whittaker, Austin Chronicle - Fresh
It also begs the question why the space casino sequence, arguably the least relevant to the core story, wasn’t dramatically trimmed back. Aside from a throwaway final shot, this section of the film is the weakest – designed to depict profiteering space-capitalism run rampant (ironically, also depicting a stable of space-horses also running rampant).
Patrick Kolan, Shotgun Cinema - Fresh
But as ingenious as this setup may be, it also gives rise to the film's most pointless subplot. After waking from his coma, Finn (John Boyega) contrives a means by which he can disable the New Order's tracking device, albeit one that requires him to sneak off the fleeing vessel, travel to a Monaco-styled casino planet, track down a master codebreaker and infiltrate the enemy's warship undetected. This enormous MacGuffin sees Boyega partnered with the charming Kelly Marie Tran as Rose Tico, a Resistance engineer low in status but high in pluck. The problem is that their side adventure does absolutely nothing to advance the actual story.
Tom Glasson, Concrete Playground - Fresh
Unfortunately, John Boyega’s Finn, Oscar Isaac’s Poe and Kelly Marie Tran—as Finn’s new partner-in-rebellion Rose—are given the equivalent of busywork while the rest of the cast moves the plot along.
Simon Miraudo, Student Edge - Fresh
A detour to a casino planet where Finn and a resistance mechanic named Rose (Kelly Marie Tran) search for a codebreaker to help them disrupt the First Order's tracking of the retreating resistance ships feels like a trip into another movie. The stakes here seem far lower than the live-or-die scenario facing Poe, General Leia Organa (the late Carrie Fisher) and the others trying to make their getaway.
Greg Maki Star-Democrat (Easton, MD) Fresh
The only characters not doing a huge amount of growing are Finn (John Boyega) and mechanic Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran), and not for nothing, their subplot opens up a momentum drain that is the only weakness in The Last Jedi. Boyega and Tran are perfectly enjoyable, and their subplot isn’t a complete waste of time, but you start to feel the length of The Last Jedi when it veers off with them, and Finn’s arc is a pale echo of Poe’s so it’s not like much is being accomplished.
Sarah Marrs Lainey Gossip Fresh
Rey’s journey toward learning the ways of the Jedi is far more entertaining than Finn’s convoluted (and ultimately pointless) storyline
Josh Bell Las Vegas Weekly Fresh
Rose’s character is front and center in the film’s weakest sequences. We’re diverted to a city where the worst of the worst frolic. No, not the usual hives of scum and villainy. It’s a casino where the very, very rich cavort. The evil One Percenters! If you’re not immediately yanked out of the story here you deserve a prize. The accompanying dialogue is equally clunky, as is the reason all these vapid souls gained their fortunes.
Christian Toto, HollywoodInToto.com - Rotten
Far less successful is the time spent with the rebels on the run from Hux and the First Order. Not only is it centered on the slowest space chase in sci-fi history, but subplots featuring Poe, Finn (John Boyega), and Rose (newcomer Kelly Marie Tran) go absolutely nowhere. Sure we get introduced to DJ (Benicio Del Toro) and Vice Admiral Holdo (Laura Dern), but it’s with actions that fail to connect either through sheer stupidity or the simple truth that their absence wouldn’t change the story in the slightest. They’re obvious filler, and as is the Disney way (witness their Marvel films) the studio’s never met a character that couldn’t be jammed into a movie for no reason other than the misguided belief that more is better. Finn and Rose’s adventure in particular offers some additional action beats and a visit to a casino — think the Mos Eisley Cantina scene from Star Wars, but for the 1% — but it is meaningless noise.
Rob Hunter, Film School Rejects - Fresh
Meanwhile, what feels too much like the “B plot” side adventure has Finn and Rose on a mission that takes them into another film entirely, a sort of intergalactic James Bond-meets-Free Willy. It’s hard not to feel that their entire subplot could be axed in order to make The Last Jedi stronger and tighter, which is unfortunate.
Kaila Hale-Stern, The Mary Sue - Fresh
There is a whole section that feels out of kilter and harks back to the CGI naffness of the prequels — and is also virtually pointless to the plot.
Jamie East, The Sun (UK) - Fresh
The film’s epic 150-minute runtime allows plenty of room for Johnson’s inventiveness, but there’s also a tiny bit of fat in the middle of the movie, specifically in the Canto Bight scenes with Finn and Rose. The casino city itself is gorgeous and has some crazy-cool characters, plus Finn and Rose’s presence there shines a light on some new, worthwhile themes for the Star Wars franchise. However, in terms of the overall story, the whole escapade feels a little pointless and small. It doesn’t help that Benicio del Toro’s new character, DJ, who is part of the same storyline, is largely insignificant.
Germain Lussier, io9.com - Fresh
Star Wars: The Last Jedi does have a clear weak spot -- specifically the side plot that develops between Finn (John Boyega) and newly-introduced Resistance member Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran). Following a genuinely funny meet-up between the two characters, they are given their own special mission searching for a codebreaker who can assist in the battle against the First Order. But this storyline never feels particularly inspired or impactful as everything else going down in the movie. While it is constructed to fit with the larger themes of the film, features its own interesting expectation-flipping turns, and does eventually have a key impact on the macro scale, it's also the only part of the feature that ever feels expendable, and not helping anything is that it features the weakest visual effects of the blockbuster (especially during a second-act chase sequence).
Eric Eisenberg, CinemaBlend - Fresh
Finn and Rose’s mission takes them to Canto Bight, a kind of Monte Carlo peopled by extras from Babylon 5, and feels like it is just ticking the Weird Alien Bar box started by the Cantina. A ride on space horses also feels like a needless diversion, as does Benicio Del Toro’s space rogue, whose strange, laconic presence never really makes its mark.
Ian Freer, Empire Magazine - Fresh
It’s a shame, then, that the righteousness of Finn and Rose’s place in the film is undermined slightly by the limpness of their mission. Perhaps feeling there had to be some kind of Mos Eisley–esque sequence in the film, Johnson sends the pair to a casino city full of all kinds of creatures. It’s fun, sure, but the whole operation ultimately turns out to be a red herring. At least there’s some nice musing on liberation during this stretch, reminding us of the real stakes of this long story—freedom is, after all, what the Empire denies and the Rebel Alliance promises. And in a gorgeous third-act sequence—which includes the film’s true Empire Strikes Back homage—Finn and Rose finally get the emboldened moments they deserve. I just wish they fit more integrally into the central thesis of the film, that they were just as special, in their way, as Rey is, glinting with messianic power as she ascends.
Richard Lawson, Vanity Fair - Fresh
Of the three simultaneous plots, it’s Finn’s that sometimes drags down the energy, particularly with an introduction of a shady thief played by Benicio del Toro, the only new addition to the cast that doesn’t quite work; he seems to be acting in his own private movie, and it’s not as good as this one.
Will Leitch Paste Magazine - Fresh
Where the film struggles the most is on Canto Bight. Taken on her own, Rose isn’t a bad addition to the Star Wars mythos, and the movie definitely needs someone to play against Finn. Unfortunately, they lack the electric chemistry we saw between Finn and Rey in The Force Awakens, and their secret mission in a casino feels like it should be far more entertaining than it actually is.
Matt Goldberg, Collider - Fresh
Some action sequences are superfluous and unengaging. Benicio del Toro all but cameos as a sort of hobo hustler, while John Boyega’s Finn is sidelined, relegated to relatively inconsequential hi-jinx.
Alex Godfrey, GQ Magazine [UK] - Fresh
Finn (John Boyega) and newcomer Rose (Kelly Marie Tran) attempt an espionage mission that takes them to what is the Star Wars equivalent of the French Riviera. It’s a casino city named Canto Bight, and their adventures here push the Rick’s Café sensibilities from the original Star Wars’ cantina sequence to their limit. Nevertheless, this entire subplot amounts to a whole lot of padding while the real tough and revelatory decisions are made on Ahch-To.
David Crow, Den of Geek - Fresh
Plot-wise, I felt the entire side story at the casino world of Canto Bight was unnecessary. If you cut the entire sequence out of the film, it would have little impact on the core narrative.
Scott Chitwood ComingSoon.net - Fresh
Finn (John Boyega) wakes up, meets a admiring fan down in maintenance named Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran) and they head off on their own adventure, a detour that somehow combines the louche slickness of Cloud City and moralizing at its most Disney.
Joe Gross, Austin American-Statesman - Fresh
But The Last Jedi’s two-and-half-hour sprawl still includes an awful lot of clunky, derivative, and largely unnecessary incidents to wade through in order to get to its maverick last act. This is especially true when it comes to the plausibility-straining mission of stormtrooper turned Rebel Alliance fighter Finn (John Boyega) and puckish series newcomer Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran).
Sam C. Mac, Slant Magazine - Rotten
There are a couple of big names that fail to deliver much aside from, perhaps, realizing their childhood dreams of being in a “Star Wars” movie. A trip to a city that might as well be called Space Macau also fails to pay many dividends.
Christopher Lawrence, Las Vegas Review-Journal - Fresh
Case in point is the plot involving Finn (John Boyega) and new hero Rose's (Kelly Marie Tran) McGuffinesque mission to Canto Bight, which is of the ashtray-on-a-speederbike variety, and takes away from the tension cranked up elsewhere.
Harry Guerin, RTÉ (Ireland) - Fresh
The remaining 20% is made up of two different locales, one of which is entirely superfluous to the story. Essentially, there is a subplot that introduces Benicio del Toro’s mysterious work of eccentricity, except it doesn’t really do much of interest with him. Admittedly, it feels as if the character could be destined for bigger things in the final chapter, but I can only go off of what I watched, and well, the middle portion of The Last Jedi is stuck in the furthest setting from lightspeed. The journey expands to a space-Vegas full of various alien life forms and inhabitants, but it’s not as visually striking as previously explored planets. Additionally, by design, there seems to be filler injected simply because the other characters need things to do while Rey accomplishes what she needs to with Luke.
Robert Kojder, Flickering Myth - Fresh
The scenes on Canto Bight seemed like an unnecessary divert for Rose (a new character I actually really like) and Finn. This “casino planet” was like a scene right out of a low-budget Sy-Fy channel movie shot in Vancouver. It felt too familiar and earthbound to be a scene in an other-worldly scene in a Star Wars movie. The Rose/Finn alien horse race through the casino that ruined the galactic one-percenters good time and did some property damage was just ridiculous and should have been cut. Rose and Finn flopping around on the alien horse just looked like a bad theme park ride.
Chris Gore, Film Threat - Fresh
There’s a lengthy diversion to the casino planet of Canto Bight that feels pointless and tacked on just for the sake of giving us a cool new corner of the galaxy to feast our eyes on.
Chris Nashawaty, Entertainment Weekly - Fresh
And that's it for Part II. Happy Holidays to all my fellow fans and miners! Next week I will conclude with Part III, which will cover- well, let's just say it's the longest of this series by far. Heh.
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Bands Playing in Vancouver from June 12th – June 18th

Hey /Vancouver,
It’s time for the new weekly concert listings, giving you the information you need this week on who is playing, where they’re playing, and why you should see them. The point of this thread is to help spread the music scene in Vancouver, find concert buddies, or hype up your concerts for the week. As always I may’ve missed a few bands but generally don’t include crappy cover bands playing in pubs, if I did miss a legitimate touring band please comment below. If you want to know who is playing today, look at last week’s thread.
PERDIN’S PICK OF THE WEEK: Tool with Crystal Method @ Rogers Arena. It’s sold out, and I actually bought my ticket for $150 (Upper Bowl) from a friend because she had her friend bail on her and obviously doesn’t read this thread and follow my CONCERT TIPS for buying tickets. I feel blah for buying it at that price . Maybe I’ll dance my guilt away at Descent on Sunday.
PERDIN’S CONCERT TIPS:
Monday
Hellyeah, Sons Of Texas, and Righteous Vendetta @ Commodore Ballroom – $29.50
Tuesday
Akon @ Harbour Event Centre – $50
Obey The Brave, Deez Nuts, Get The Shot, and Galactic Pegasus @ The Cobalt – $16
Jah9 @ Fortune Sound Club – $10
Wednesday
Hawthorne Heights @ Biltmore Cabaret – $20.50
CKY @ Rickshaw Theater – $25
Overcoats @ The Cobalt – $12
Beya Likhari @ The Vogue – $30
Thursday
Tool with Crystal Method @ Rogers Arena - $??? Ticket Master Bullshit – Try Stubhub.
Crystal Method @ Venue – $25
Blitzen Trapper @ Biltmore Cabaret – $20
Hurray for the Riff Raff with Making Movies @ The Imperial – $23.50
Annihilator with Mason and Mutank @ Rickshaw Theater – $30
Fleece & Wind-Up Birds @ 333 - $10 bucks at the door
Merkules @ Red Room Ultra Bar – $15
Friday
Bison @ Rickshaw – $15
Major Fantasy @ The Roxy - $13 @ the Door.
Fleece @ Fox Cabaret - $10 @ the Door
Jaloos City of Bhangra featuring Beya Likhari @ The Fortune Sound Club – $15
Goldstepz @ The Media Club - $13 @ The Door
Eros Taylor @ The Waldorf - $10 @ the Door
Saturday
Cut/Copy with Youngblood @ Red Truck Brewery – $35
Mono & Low @ The Imperial – $20
The Black Seeds @ The Rickshaw – $29.50
Eric Burdon & The Animals @ The Hard Rock Casino – $55 - $70
Dodge & Fuski @ Red Room Ultra Bar – $25
Technoboy @ Harbour Events Centre – $30
Sunday
Wolves in the Thorne Room, Marissa Nadler, and King Woman @ Venue – $20
The Skints @ The Rickshaw Theatre – $20
Tengger Cavalry$15
The Deslondes @ The Colbalt – $15
Car Free Day @ Red Cat Records – FREE!
Descent Sundays – “Summer of Goth” @ Red Room Ultra Bar – $5
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Our MEGA-REVIEW of this past weekend's Vegas Exchange

As lurkers who’ve benefited from the advice here in /swingers, we thought we’d share some of our own thoughts about the Vegas Exchange, a well-promoted annual hotel takeover.
Plus, we are upvote whores. ;-)
We were a little hesitant going at first, given that our requests on here for reviews or opinions solicited almost zero responses. And while the organizers have advertised the event here and on Facebook, etc., they seem to not respond to questions, which is disappointing.
But TL;DR, it was a real takeover, it was big, it was mostly fun, but the venue they chose this year was terrible and we probably won’t go back as a result.
----- CROWD -----
This event was Thursday daytime to Sunday morning. We found the crowd was a little older the first night (average age probably around 45-60) but the next two nights (they sold single-day options) brought out some younger people. On the last night, there was a healthy number of people from their late 20s to early 40s.
Like many lifestyle events, people were friendly when approached, and more willing to approach you after they’d had a few drinks. ;-) It’s always a more friendly crowd than a vanilla vacation, and this was no exception.
----- PLAYROOMS -----
Okay, we know this is the only paragraph you are actually reading, you dirty fuckers. ;-) There was only one playroom but it was big and quite well done. You had to change into either towels or nothing in an awkwardly well-lit little room outside the playroom before entering. You got a SLS-branded bag to keep your clothes in. We ended up with like four or five of them. They had lube at the entrance (from a sponsor, Swiss Navy — it was actually pretty good stuff).
They had low red lights glowing the place up, and lots of options for either group play or couples on their own with closable curtains (boo!). There was some nice up-tempo music going on. The single beds around the outside of the rooms had sheets, which was awesome, but oddly the group play beds (4-8 mattresses pushed up) were vinyl without sheets. One very nice touch, all the mattresses were on small cots so they were raised up just a little bit. :-)
The volunteer attendants were very quick to reset the bed after you were done — swooping in quietly with fresh sheets or a sanitizing wipedown.
But if you’ve been in big playrooms, this was one of them. Luckily, there wasn’t a lot of loud chatter and laughing, as can sometimes ruin other playrooms, and the only real downside was that the playroom didn’t open until midnight! We’ll say that again — the playroom didn’t open until midnight! (There was an hour in the afternoon but we don’t know if that was really used.)
----- INVITED VIP GUESTS -----
They had invited/paid a number of semi-famous people to participate, do seminars, hang out at the pool, etc. Our two highlights were:
— Dr Jessica Reilly (of Playboy TV’s Swing fame) who did a funny and surprisingly helpful session on oral techniques, then led a smaller group through play in the play room. We chatted with her at a party after and she’s really awesome. (Yes, she has an actual PhD. No, she probably won’t play with you.)
— The Dominatrix of Ditties, who you may have seen on lifestyle cruises and other events. She’s funny as hell and we had a great time getting to know her after her show.
— Some porn stars — there were some porn stars there, including Allie Haze (who was super-sweet and was pretty much ignored at the pool party because people were apparently intimidated by her — we had a good chat with her), a couple of others, some drunk older guy with really bad jokes, and Ron Jeremy because of course Ron Jeremy. He didn’t seem like he was in a very good mood. To be fair, the event didn’t really give them any place to set up or do anything or announce they’d be at a certain place at a certain time. I hope they sold some DVDs or had some fun in the playroom or something.
----- SEMINARS -----
We only went to a couple of the seminars and they were hit and miss. Dr Jess’s seminar was really good. It takes some level of guts to present “how to do oral sex better” to a room full of 500 swingers. The Allie Haze one (“behind the scenes in the porn industry”) was great when she was talking, and unbearable when her buddy (see “drunk older guy with really bad jokes,” above paragraph) would talk. We left early and hung out with her by the pool later for a few minutes.
----- POOL -----
There were actually three pools at this place but only one was really used. It was always packed and there was NO shade (i.e., ZERO) until about 6:30pm. There were two cabana thingies which seemed to be reserved for VIPs, and the only chair areas with umbrellas were camped on from 10am onward.
As for pool entertainment, it was about what you’d expect — a pretty good DJ, and a guy occasionally shouting things into the microphone “Come up! Get up! Yeeeeah! Party people! Yeah baby! Hands in the air! She’s so sexy!!” and so on. They had a few Hedo-style games like “Who has the hottest ass” and so on.
----- ENTERTAINMENT and THEMES PARTIES -----
There were some good parties with an “80s glow” theme and a “dress to impress” theme — basically a big dance floor and some standing tables scattered around. These themes were a little muddled.. there wasn’t really any communication from the organizers about what the themes meant (for instance, the dress-to-impress was listed as “Fire and Ice”) so it made packing tough. And I’m sure many of you in here know that swinger party outfits can be performance art!
But the highlight of our trip was the last night. They moved the party up to the rooftop and had brought in a circle-like group of acrobats and dancers. It wasn’t actually a stop-what-you’re-doing-and-watch show, it was more just something to look at when you were wandering around, but it was beautiful on the roof, in the warmth, with all the sexy people around.
Also, since it was the last night, everyone seemed a bit more keen to finally nail that couple they had their eye on... ;-) More people drunk and way more flirting/kissing. We are not saying this was a bad thing. ;-)
----- TRADE FLOOR -----
There was a pretty good sized trade floor that was open a lot — jewelry, sex toys (we bought a stainless steel prostate massager — gulp!), booths for lifestyle travel companies, a booth for Oasis in Toronto, some booths for the porn starlets (who never went to the booths, apparently)... and even a guy who was selling marijuana-laced lollipops. He wasn’t there after the first night. Coincidentally, I’m sure, that was the night the cops started patrolling. ;-)
----- SAFETY AND SECURITY -----
They really did have their shit together on this front. There were, of course wristbands, but also a small crew of volunteer security people checking up, tossing people out, giving warnings, etc. We didn’t get to hear much of the drama but with the porn stars tweeting out where they were that weekend, apparently they tossed something like about 40 people (read: single guys) out each night.
One of the volunteer security ladies said they caught one couple either selling or giving their wristbands to people on the outside.
Also, said security lady was really hot. Also, if said security lady is reading this, PM us. We have unfinished business with you. ;-)
----- VENUE -----
This year, it was held at the Alexis Park All-Suite hotel, about a 30-min walk off the strip. It was within easier walking distance to a CVS, Subway, a nearby hotel (Rumors), and the Hard Rock casino. Which was a good thing. Because the food at this place was T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E. More on that in a moment.
The venue itself was clean, nice and cool, and seemed to be fairly well cared for. It has a small gift shop with stupid little tourist trinkets, instead of things you, you know, might need.
The Internet was free but spotty. There was one network for inside your room, and another for the public areas. Both would drop out completely if you weren’t using it for more than a few minutes. So don’t count on reliably getting messages, notifications, and the likes unless you manually reconnect the network several times an hour.
----- FOOD -----
They only had one restaurant (it looks like two, but it’s just two different doors with different decor and the same menu). The “chicken quesadilla” came with, literally, no chicken on it and it was a gooey mess of oil, cheese, and tortilla. We were still charged for a “chicken quesadilla.” The appetizer nachos was HUGE and had 7Eleven-style nacho cheese poured on it. Both servers we were served by seemed confused by what was on the menu.
There was no food included with the takeover, except for boxes and boxes of pizza that arrived on the pool deck every night at midnight. The hotel staff kept claiming there was a taco buffet, but we never saw one.
There is no coffee option at this hotel either, other than walking into, essentially, the kitchen wait-staff area and interrupting them. And that coffee was really bad. And there’s nowhere even nearby to get a decent cup.
----- ROOMS -----
The rooms were basic but clean, not at all “run down” as we’d seen on some review boards. The mattresses and pillows were comfortable, though it was a little scant on the bedding options.
There are no rooms in the main building — this resort has about 15 smaller two-storey buildings, so if you are in a building quite far from the main building you’ll be walking a lot (and in 100-degree weather).
This is an all-suites hotel, and each room has a kitchenette, but there are no utensils, no bowls, no plates. All you really get is a microwave and a counter. And a cheap coffee machine.
Worst of all, there was no cold water in our room. At all. All the water that came from the taps was scalding (literally scalding) hot. The best the hotel could offer was to tell us to run all the taps for 15 minutes and flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. (Which I’m sure is a totally sensible thing to do in a desert.) Even so, the water never even got lower than lukewarm.
----- IN SUMMARY -----
So there you go, fellow Reddit pervs, it wasn’t bad. Some of the entertainment was pretty fun, as was most of the crowd. The playrooms were well set up, other than the group beds being vinyl only. The food, though, was terrible and limited, and the rooms really weren’t set up well.
We’ll keep going to lifestyle takeovers, but probably not this one again unless they find a better venue with actual food — and maybe hosted it in a cooler time of year.
So hope that helps people next year who, like us this year, were searching this subreddit for information about the Vegas Exchange.
We are happy to answer any questions you have about it — and if you were there with us, say hi!!! :-)
And PM us if you want our handles on SLS, ITL, Kik, etc.
Especially if you live in Vancouver and you're hot. Just sayin'.
submitted by lisaandscott to Swingers [link] [comments]

2 [HIRING] Hard Rock Casino Vancouver - Card Dealers - Fully Paid Training - $17.50 and up + benefits

Are you ready to take the stage and start your professional career as a Card Dealer in Training?
Our Hiring team is currently looking for guest service driven individuals who have the ability to engage our guests, producing fun-filled experiences that will leave our guests coming back for more! No previous Card Dealing experience is necessary as training is provided for successful candidates.
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We're hosting CAREER FAIRS on Wednesday September 13th from 1:00pm to 4:00pm and Thursday September 14th from 5pm to 8pm at the Hard Rock Casino Vancouver at 2080 United Boulevard (Please enter through our main Casino entrance and inform Guest Services that you are there for our Casting Call .
Stop by anytime during our Casting Calls with your resume and introduce yourself to our Hiring team.
Potential candidates must successfully complete a two week paid training course starting from September 30th to October 15th from 8pm to 4am 100% attendance for the entire course, as well as additional study at home is crucial in order to successfully complete the course. Passing the course is a condition of on-going employment as a Dealer with Great Canadian.
For more information on the Card Dealer in Training position and course dates, please visit our Careers page: http://www.hardrockcasinovancouver.com/careers/
submitted by HardRockCasinoV to VancouverJobs [link] [comments]

[HIRING] Card Dealers in Training, Hard Rock Casino Vancouver, $17.50 to start or more!

Are you ready to take the stage and start your professional career as a Card Dealer in Training?
Our Hiring team is currently looking for guest service driven individuals who have the ability to engage our guests, producing fun-filled experiences that will leave our guests coming back for more! No previous Card Dealing experience is necessary as training is provided for successful candidates.
Earn $17.50 an hour or more!
We're hosting CAREER FAIRS on Thursday April 13th from 5:00pm to 8:00pm and Monday April 17th from 5pm to 8pm at the Hard Rock Casino Vancouver at 2080 United Boulevard (Please enter through our main Casino entrance and inform Guest Services that you are there for our Casting Call.
Stop by anytime during our Casting Calls with your resume and introduce yourself to our Hiring team. Potential candidates must successfully complete a two week paid training course starting from April 30th to May 15th from 8pm to 4am 100% attendance for the entire course, as well as additional study at home is crucial in order to successfully complete the course. Passing the course is a condition of on-going employment as a Dealer with Great Canadian.
For more information on the Card Dealer in Training position and course dates, please visit our
Careers page: http://www.hardrockcasinovancouver.com/careers/
submitted by HardRockCasinoV to VancouverJobs [link] [comments]

[HIRING] Hard Rock Casino Vancouver Career Fair (May 11th 5pm to 8pm), All F&B and Culinary Positions Needed!!

SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM THE REST. Looking for a place to rock out and work (or should we say play) for one of the most legendary international brands out there? Then you've come to the right place.
To fit in at the Hard Rock Casino Vancouver you'll need to bring out your inner Rock Star! You'll be part of a large, diverse and wickedly cool family! A family which expects you to be energetic, expressive, approachable, friendly & most of all FUN. Oh. . .and while you're at it you'll be delivering wicked awesome service that can be dressed up for any occasion
Our team members 'make things happen' -- whether they're behind-the-scenes, in the spotlight or getting plugged in to our community.
https://www.hardrockcasinovancouver.com/careers/
We're hosting Casting Calls (Career Fair for all positions) on:
Thursday May 11th from 5pm to 8pm at Asylum at the Hard Rock Casino Vancouver on 2080 United Boulevard (Please enter through the main entrance of the Hard Rock Casino Vancouver and check in with a member of the HR Team)
Bring your current resume and the contact information of 2 professional references.
Let us know what position you're interested in and why (see job postings / descriptions, on our Careers page).
https://www.hardrockcasinovancouver.com/careers/
Be prepared - interviews may be conducted on site!
Since the party never stops at Hard Rock Casino Vancouver, candidates must be ready and willing to work a flexible schedule, including evenings, weekends, holidays and graveyards. The hours of work will be based on guest and business needs.
Positions Available: - Commis Chefs/Demi Chefs/Line Cooks/Dishwashers - Bussers/Food Runners - Buffet Servers - Host - F&B Cashiers
submitted by HardRockCasinoV to VancouverJobs [link] [comments]

[HIRING] Hard Rock Casino Vancouver Career Fair (April 13th 5pm to 9pm), All F&B and Culinary Positions Needed!!

SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM THE REST. Looking for a place to rock out and work (or should we say play) for one of the most legendary international brands out there? Then you've come to the right place.
To fit in at the Hard Rock Casino Vancouver you'll need to bring out your inner Rock Star! You'll be part of a large, diverse and wickedly cool family! A family which expects you to be energetic, expressive, approachable, friendly & most of all FUN. Oh. . .and while you're at it you'll be delivering wicked awesome service that can be dressed up for any occasion
Our team members 'make things happen' -- whether they're behind-the-scenes, in the spotlight or getting plugged in to our community.
https://www.hardrockcasinovancouver.com/careers/
We're hosting Casting Calls (Career Fair for all positions) on:
Thursday May11th from 5pm to 8pm at Asylum at the Hard Rock Casino Vancouver on 2080 United Boulevard (Please enter through the main entrance of the Hard Rock Casino Vancouver and check in with a member of the HR Team)
Bring your current resume and the contact information of 2 professional references.
Let us know what position you're interested in and why (see job postings / descriptions, on our Careers page).
https://www.hardrockcasinovancouver.com/careers/
Be prepared - interviews may be conducted on site!
Since the party never stops at Hard Rock Casino Vancouver, candidates must be ready and willing to work a flexible schedule, including evenings, weekends, holidays and graveyards. The hours of work will be based on guest and business needs.
Positions Available: - Commis Chefs/Demi Chefs/Line Cooks/Dishwashers - Bussers/Food Runners - Buffet Servers - Host - F&B Cashiers
submitted by HardRockCasinoV to VancouverJobs [link] [comments]

[HIRING] Hard Rock Casino Vancouver Career Fair (April 13th 5pm to 9pm), All Positions Needed!!

We're hosting Casting Calls (Career Fair for all positions) on:
Thursday April 13th from 5pm to 8pm at Asylum at the Hard Rock Casino Vancouver on 2080 United Boulevard (Please enter through the main entrance of the Hard Rock Casino Vancouver and check in with a member of the HR Team)
Bring your current resume and the contact information of 2 professional references.
Let us know what position you're interested in and why (see job postings / descriptions, on our Careers page).
https://www.hardrockcasinovancouver.com/careers/
Be prepared - interviews may be conducted on site!
Since the party never stops at Hard Rock Casino Vancouver, candidates must be ready and willing to work a flexible schedule, including evenings, weekends, holidays and graveyards. The hours of work will be based on guest and business needs.
Positions Available: - Commis Chefs/Demi Chefs/Line Cooks/Chef de Partie/Dishwashers - Bussers/Food Runners - Buffet Servers/Host - Ushers - Count Team - Guest Service Supervisors - Guest Service Rep. - Card Dealers - Storekeeper - Security Officers - F&B Shift Supervisor
submitted by HardRockCasinoV to VancouverJobs [link] [comments]

[Table] IAmA: I'm GM Hikaru Nakamura, #1 US chess player and top 10 in the world - AMA

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-02-26
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Hey Naka, I'm a huge fan. Thank you so much for doing this. How much does it actually matter which opening a player chooses? Openings matter only in so much as you are not worse or losing out of the opening!
I've always wondered, does a gm have to have a bajillion games mostly memorized? How big a part of your study is analyzing the games of others? Do you spend time analyzing the games of people worse than you or only of other super gms? In a game of high level chess, does aesthetic count more than a computer-good position sometimes? Like, would you rather have a slightly worse position but one that more suits your style than your opponent's? Various databases that I've seen show that d4 is a more successful opening than e4 but e4 is more popular. Why is this? Why do master players online play so much blitz? Why not lengthy games? Who are your favorite players throughout history and who do you think are the best players? Thanks again. Good luck in chess! I for one do not have a quadrillion games memorized. Mainly, it is more a matter of ideas/concepts combined with an understand of piece play and then of course tactics. But, because all professionals have studied and played chess for so many years, it is just inherently a part of our understanding. In this day and age, everyone is so good that being even slightly worse is too much! I will always take equality! I think in general, when you play chess on the internet its not serious competition, so the goal is to have a good time. Secondly, if I tried playing long games on the internet, I'd have trouble being motivated or keeping up the intensity.
Are there still aspects of chess that humans do better at than computers? How incredible does a computer have to be to beat the best humans? Could my Macbook or cell phone do it? If a computer disagrees with you, do you always think that the computer must be right? How do you think Fischer would do against top players like yourself, Carlsen, or Kasparov? How would Morphy do? What's your top goal in chess? Do you think you'll achieve it? 1.e4 is certainly NOT more popular at the top levels of chess today! I think in general because many of the great champions (Fischer and Kasparov specifically) opened with 1.e4, it remains very popular at the amateur level. The only two aspects of chess which humans are better at are: blocked positions where only one side has a break due to the long term concept and ideas which are beyond a computer horizon and secondly, pure attacks like in the Kings Indian. I am not sure if a computer on a cell phone could beat the top humans, but any laptop would be more than sufficient to trounce us pitiful humans into oblivion! Fischer would almost certainly lose to all of us, but this is due to the fact that the game has so fundamentally changed. If Fischer had a few years to use computers, I think he would probably be on the same level. I certainly hope to become World Champion, but it is a long process and I simply need to play good chess for now!
My favourite players are Kasparov, Fischer and Tal. Mainly because they were more tactical and aggressive which is how I tend to play.
When you visualize a chess position, such as during a blindfold game, or when going over a score without a board present, what do you see? Do you see a full board and pieces, just like you were actually looking at a real board, or do you have some kind of abstract representation in your mind (such as a list of pieces and key squares and their attack/defense relationships)? When I play 1 blindfold game or any amount, (I have done 15 on two separate occasions) I essentially see the whole board, but I very rarely calculate deep lines beyond 2-3 moves. In tournaments such as the Amber Blindfold and Rapid where it is 1 game against another top level play, I very often will calculate 2-3 lines of about 5-6 moves. I wish I could say that I am some sort of mathematical genius and I see a bunch of right triangles or some picasso style art lines, but that would be going too far! When I see the board, it is usually the blue board from the chess program chessbase with the white and black pieces. I suspect that for most modern day players, blindfold chess is a lot easier because of the endless hours we have all spent studying chess on computer screens.
On chess.com, there is a mysterious GM Phoenix who has a very high rating, with much speculation as to his identity. The main guess was that it was you. When you officially showed up on chess.com, Phoenix stopped showing up, furthering that speculation. Were you GM Phoenix? I will take the 5th on your question about GMPhoenix! :)
We played in Round 3 of the 1997 Super Nationals chess tournament in Knoxville. We were both 2-0 and played on the podium while your dad took pictures from below-you were white and played the scotch. You had this intimidating strategy of standing behind me while I was pondering my next move. I still wonder, were you just trying to see the board from a different perspective, or intentionally trying to psych me out?! :) I highly doubt that I could have come up with such a strategy at 9! :) I wish I could remember, but asking me to remember a game from 17?? years ago is too much!
Do you think there will ever be a time in the future when Chess960 is a serious competitive chess format? Do you feel it does a good job of shaking up the theory-heavy metagame for more "casual" observers? Great question, apetresc!
I think chess960 is great as it is simply pure intuition and understanding without theory or computers. In my opinion, a lot depends on the trends. For example, at the moment everyone is playing the Berlin Defense which has severely reduced the number of games with 1.e4 If this trend of attempting to "kill" the excitement continues, it is hard to believe 960 won't take over at some point. However, if we start seeing a lot of deep preparation and exciting games in in the Najdorf or Dragon, then I think the scope of normal chess will continue for a very long time.
Hey, I was wondering how big of a role computers play in your chess life. Hello Jack, your question is very pertinent not only to my chess career but the very future of chess as well. I would say that nowadays, when I study, computers comprise 90% overall.
Do you ever play against them as practice? I do not play against computers anymore because it is severely depressing to lose every game without ever even having a chance!
What do you think we can learn from computer chess and what can't we? I think mainly what can be learned from computers is a deeper understanding that almost all positions are ok with accurate play. In the past, many people assumed certain positions were automatically bad, but computers have shown that the rules and thought processes aren't always accurate!
So when do you decide a position is gone as in unplayable? A full minor down or just a lack of counterplay and a pawn or something? Thanks. In general, one gives up when either they are down too much material, mate is imminent or if there is little to no counterplay. If there is a chance of a swindle or a hope, then there is no reason to resign. Play till there are no chances left!
How often does the average top-ten chess player get laid? We aren't rock stars! :-D.
Is chess still fun, or does it just feel like a job now? Chess is certainly still enjoyable but it has taken on a more serious role as it is my full time career. It will always be fun, but it will never be the same as when I was 12-13-14 years old and just playing the game without any worries in the world.
Why do you play chess? I play chess because it pays the bills! ;) However, more importantly, I play because I enjoy the game! It is also really special having the opportunity to see lots of new and different cities and countries around the world!
How much does being a professional chess player pay? Being a professional chessplayer is not an easy profession, as you need to be in the top 30 to make a good living. Fortunately, I am amongst the top 30!
Who do you support for FIDE president? I do not particularly support one side over the other as both candidates have serious flaws. However, one must look at what the incumbent has done over the past 20 years. It does not seem as though chess has fundamentally moved forward in a new direction. At the same time, it remains to be seen whether the opposition leader will be able to bring in money and sponsors which he speaks of in his campaign.
Hello there, very nice to see you doing an AMA. I've been wondering if there are times or any major time in your life that you've found chess to be boring? Also if that has happened what have you done to change this, or have you changed yourself so that you understand it's work and do it despite it being boring to you? Thanks again :) I have tried to avoid being too philosophical, but I think in general, everything becomes boring after a while. Nothing is as fun as it was when you first started playing. The key is to stay motivated and just continue trying to learn more.
You are considered one of the best blitz players in the world, if not the best. You should comment some of your games and post them to YouTube, a la KingcrusheChessexplained/curtains. I would pay to see that! What do you think? To start, I have actually seen a few of Kingcrusher's videos on youtube and they are pretty good! At the moment, I am the #1 rated blitz player in the world, so I am certainly competitive. However, I do believe that because of my focus on becoming a better classical player over the last few years, I have gotten worse at blitz.
Do you think that, with perfect play, chess is a win for white, win for black, or draw? Will we ever be able to mathematically prove this, or find the hypothetical "perfect game of chess"? With perfect play, chess is and always will be a draw! Perhaps we will one day be able to prove the result of chess, but there will need to be a quantum leap in computing technology as well as storage capacity in order for this to be possible. I sincerely hope that this does not happen in my lifetime.
It seems that you are more in control of your emotions currently than has been the case in the past. Is this something you agree with and if so, is it something you consciously work on or do you feel it's something that has come with age? Hello Veritas, and thank you very much for your question which I will try to answer very truthfully! ;)
I'm not sure that I am ever really in control! I would never really say that I worked consciously to become calmer and more mellow, but I think that lifestyle plays a big roll. In my late teens and early 20s, I spent a lot of time out on the west coast (Vancouver in particular) and this really helped a lot. Although, I do think that with every passing year, I become more mellow!
Thank you so much for your response. I'm so happy that you answered. I lived in Vancouver for a couple of years myself. I am looking forward to watching you play your next tournament. Thanks again. You are very welcome! My next tournament will be in Azerbaijan from April 20-30.
I have been wondering about your Japanese heritage. How often do you visit and can you speak Japanese? I was born in Osaka, Japan to a Japanese father and am American mother. However, my parents separated and I moved back to the US when I was 2 years old. After that, I grew up with only English. I did take some Japanese lessons when I was about 10, and also took Japanese 101 during my 1 semester at Dickinson College.
However, at this point my Japanese is pretty mediocre and I wouldn't say I know more than 20 words. Sadly, it's probably my 4th best language :(
I went back to Japan about once every 3 years growing up until I was 18. While I saw my Japan dad, I never had the opportunity to meet my half-siblings.
EDIT: How do you view your fellow Top Ten players in the world relative to the greats of other time periods? I find that it is almost impossible to compare different generations of players. All of us are only as good as we are because of the greats who came before us.
II: When you're watching a super-tournament that you're not participating in (such as the Candidates this year) do you watch it as a fan or do you use it to size up the competition, examine others opening preparation and search for new ideas? As I mentioned above, the cycle for getting to a Candidates tournament, let alone winning it is a very long one and my next chance is 2 years away! Therefore, I can only focus on playing top level tournaments and trying to improve my overall results and game! When I am not competing, I watch the top level tournaments mainly to see what openings are popular and who is coming up with the best ideas.
What is a typical day like for you when you're not playing in a tournament? A typical day for me when I am not playing chess varies, but I will always study a few hours a day, (2-3) watch some of the BBC series, whether it is Frozen Planet, Planet Earth or one of the others, I will read some (I recently finished reading Titan: The Life of John D. Rockefeller by Chernow) and study about 1 hour of Italian! However, when tournaments are happening within the next week or two, I will be studying a lot more chess!
Favorite unorthodox opening? I would have to say that my favourite unorthodox opening has to be 1.b3! If it was good enough for Bent Larsen, then surely it is good enough for me!
I sometimes (just because) play 1.e3 and then follow that up with b3. Is there any particular reason to play b3,Bb2 first? It is chess! Be creative, and have fun! Your question is too deep and nuanced even for me! :)
Are you good at other strategy games, such as RISK or strategy computer games? Does chess translate to other types of strategy like that? The only other board game which I am pretty decent at besides chess is backgammon. As for computer games, I cannot really comment as I was pretty terrible at StarCraft!
What is the most common mistake new chess players make when trying to learn the game? What's a better way to get started on the path to improvement? I think the most common mistake new chess players make it that they are too impatient and want to know everything right away. Everything is a process and you need to not rush! Beyond that, I think just playing as much as you can, studying tactics and essentially trying to take in as much chess as you can, ESPECIALLY if you are young!
Hello Hikaru! Big fan here! In a time where the majority of elite players choose safe and dry positions I really appreciate your aggressive and entertaining style, constantly going for complications. Thanks for the compliment weasl! My general approach/philosophy is that we are all going to die, so might as well try to create some interesting games which will be remember 50-100 years from now!
Is it easy for you to switch off from chess completely, or do you pretty much think about or calculate positions in your head all the time? Unless I am thinking about chess, I find it quite easy to not think about it. For example, after my recent tournament in Zurich, I did not have a single though about chess during my 2 weeks of vacation!
You have been known to play non-mainstream openings at times. Is this mostly a tactic to throw off booked opponents, a trick to force a certain type of position, general curiosity, trolling, or something else? Thank you for the question LastChance!
For the most part, I tend to consider myself a creative person in almost any endeavour I am actively involved in whether its games like chess or tennis, I like to be creative. Therefore, when I play offbeat openings its more because I prefer the pure aspect of just playing moves and seeing fresh new positions. There is certainly a psychological aspect as well since most people tend to frown upon offbeat openings. However, I will always take creativity, new positions and playing the game over studying the Berlin Defense for 6 hours every day! :-D
What's going on in your head when you realize during the game that you are winning? Thank you for the question, ColoradoSheriff!
In general, I try not to think too much about outside factors during the game except for the position on the board. However, it does get difficult not to start wandering off and thinking about the future during especially critical games. Nevertheless, as with any other game or sport, focus focus FOCUS is the key!
– for you personally, what was the most fun tournament you ever participated in, and why? The first question has been asked many times, and there isn't one particular moment which stands out. It is more due to a special significant event. For example, winning the US Championship in 2005 will always be very special as it was my first US Championship! Just as, for example, the Turin Olympiad in 2006 was special since it was both my first Olympiad, and the first time I got a team medal (bronze)!
– do you still play poker? What was the 2011 WSOP experience like and do you plan to enter again someday? I do still play poker occasionally, but due to the ban on internet poker here in the US, it is rather inconvenient to have to drive a few hours to a casino. Therefore, while I still play occasionally, it isn't something which I spend much time.
Thanks so much! Looking forward to watching you shaking up Candidate’s this year! I did not qualify for the Candidate's tournament this year, but thank you for the compliment!
I am sad neither yourself nor Fabiano will be playing in it this year. In general, it seems to me that the entire system needs to be overhauled as you have 4 out of the top 10 players in the world not playing in the Candidates.
Do you often hang out with other professional Chess player's in non-chess contexts? Is there down-time at tournaments where you just socialize with one another? Most of my life has been spent around chess tournaments and chessplayers so it is only natural that many of my friends come from the chess world. However, I do not hang out with other "professional" players. We all are amiable, but at the end of the day it is a competition!
Thank you for the AMA! As a fellow Japanese American, you are one of my biggest inspirations in chess. Here are my questions: - who was the player that you looked up the most when you were a child? - what do you think are the major differences between chess in Japan and in the states? - what are some characteristics (both in and out of the games) that made some legendary chess players in the past (Kasparov, Fischer, etc)that you think made them so difficult to beat at the time? When I was a child, I looked up to Kasparov. He was both the best and most charismatic player as well as having an aggressive and exciting style. I think the main difference between chess in Japan and the US is that in Japan there is the Japanese version of chess (Shogi) which really limits the number of kids who are exposed to chess. This is why there are so few Japanese players, let alone masters.
I think with Kasparov and Fischer it was everything from their personality to their play which was very intimidating.
Will the sunglasses strategy ever return? I would love to wear sunglasses more often, but unfortunately due to concerns (unfortunately justified in this day and age) about cheating, I doubt I will be doing it very often.
I really like your aggressive style and that you play for wins. Elmobob, thanks for the question!
What do you do up in your hotel room after a particularly awful defeat? I usually watch some Breaking Bad!
What is your favorite part about being a Grandmaster? Travelling? Not having a '9 to 5' job? Thanks. My favorite part about being a professional chessplayer (not a Grandmaster as plenty of them do work normal 9-5 jobs) is that I am my own boss and make my own schedule.
What kind of board and pieces do you prefer playing with? Does the degree of simplicity/luxury have any impact on your level of enjoyment? For the most part, I just like a nice wooden board with weighted pieces. However, I have some antique sets which I thoroughly enjoy as well.
Which is the mountain peak you are the most proud of? I have done many day climbs, but I would have to say my two favorites are Sawtooth in the Sierra Nevadas and Black Tusk in Vancouver, British Columbia! Sometime in the future, I will go to Colorado and do a few 14ers! :-D.
Can you give an example of something new you have learned about chess within the last one or two years? Almost every day, I learn something new about chess from looking at old games or studying tactics!
Have you ever thought about producing any content for the community, perhaps live commentating some games on the ICC? I have considered doing content, and I will be doing some commentary on chess.com shortly!
Are you still technically the chess960 champion? What is the future of chess960 do you think? Would you be happy if all tournaments switched to 960? I am still currently the 960 champion, but as to the future who knows! I attempted to answer this question earlier response.
Are you playing in the US Championship this year, since it doesn't overlap with Norway? I have not decided on the US Championship, but I have chosen to play a tournament in Prague instead of Norway.
How high is your level on ChessTempo? Hello Dance,
I have never played chess on ChessTempo, but I will check it out. At the moment, I am playing on chess.com!
Are you familiar with Go at all? Any interest? Yes, see the link below! However, I am a terrible player!
Link to scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net
Who has been the most challenging opponent you've faced? And also who has surprised you the most in a match (someone you predicted wouldn't have a chance but came close/won)? Without a doubt, I am having the most problems with Aronian! I have lost something like 6 games in a row!
@GM Hikaru Nakamura are there any books that you feel after reading helped you improve? Recently, I have really taken a liking to the My Great Predecessors series by Kasparov.
I love Chess and hate it at the same time. What is the fastest game you have ever played? The longest? The fastest game I have ever played is maybe 20 minutes (I can't recall the shortest offhand). My longest game would have to be an 8 1/2 hour game I played with GM Meier in Dortmund back in 2011.
As a world class, how many hours do you focus on chess per week? Describe what the study plan for a GM is like. Like percentage do you work on opening prep, what percentage on going over past games, etc. What books/study plan would you recommend for a class A-B level player? I already gave a general response to a schedule during a week. As for specifics, I think it's probably 80% openings 10% endgames, 10% reviewing your games.
I was thinking that when Deep Blue beat Kasparov the problem was that the board is too small. A supercomputer can numbercrunch an 8 by 8 board. But a human could adapt to a board 100 times bigger more easily. What do you think? (For you it might be too late too change ;) ) There have been many proposed changes to the chess rules, but none of them have worked so far! I think the problem is that its hard to remain pure to the game without changing a major rule. Perhaps you are the person to introduce the new groundbreaking idea!
You're known to get quite emotionally invested in your games. Why is this? Do you feel it helps or hinders your game overall? When one plays a game or has a job, it seems natural to take pride and want to do your absolute best. This is probably why I give everything for the game of chess.
On chess improvement: what would you say is the best advice for amateurs to follow to help them get better? Best advice for amateurs is to try and play as much as you can, but also study your games and try to understand the mistakes and why you made them.
Can you comment on the psychological aspect of the game, and how much mental strength plays a role? It seems as if some players almost use a sort of sorcery to psych out their opponent. Does that aspect exist at the top levels? In terms of the psychological aspect, mental strength is crucial. If you do not have absolute confidence and belief in yourself or are feeling insecure in any way, there tend to be dire consequences on the chess board. This will tend to affect both your calculation and evaluation assessments.
Also, was this factor partially at play in your recent near defeat of Carlsen? Thanks. My recent game against Carlsen had nothing to do with the psychological aspect. I just had a 1 in 100 hallucination.
In most of your interviews I see you wearing a Barca jersey, what do you think their Chances are of winning the champions league this year? I think there chances are reasonable, and it will certainly be exciting. As long as Real Madrid doesn't ever win, I am happy! :)
Hello Hikaru. Thank you for doing this AMA. No problem, any time!
Do you ever get "tired" of chess and what do you do when/if it happens? I certainly have moments where I get sick of chess. Usually when this happens, I take a long break and look or do anything except chess.
Your games and playing styles have always been marked by a reckless, aggressive, attacking style which is usually decisive one way or another. How were you been able to reconcile your attacking instincts with the positional play that is necessary to succeed at a high level? What advice would you give to somebody who is enjoys dynamic, tactical games, but struggles in positional planning? I think the main way to learn is by playing those types of positions. So essentially, I think it is necessary to make a conscious effort to force yourself into those less tactical positions where you need to find different ways of playing instead of just tactics.
Hello, Hikaru. Thanks for the AMA. At the top levels of grandmaster play, how many moves are made that are either prepared, memorized, or from book before you are into unknown territories and playing strictly from the OTB position? I would say on average, someone will introduce a novelty or play a lesser known variation by about move 15. There will almost never be any surprises before move 10.
Howdy, thanks for doing this- I'm a huge fan that tries to follow all of your tournaments. Sheer-Luck, amusing question!
It seems like someone can't play chess for long without observing some unusual people and/or situations. What do you think is the most amusing chess anecdote you've picked up over the years that you'd be willing to share? There are way too many stories which I will save for my book of chess stories in 20 years! Nevertheless, I remember a game from a tournament quite a few years back, where someone got up went to the restroom then came back only to see someone else sitting in their spot having played 3-4 moves. Suffice to say it was a very confusing situation!
Mr. Nakamura, Nice to meet you, thank you for your contributions to the chess world and for doing this AMA. My question: How do you like your olives? Small and black and fleshy or are you the large green juicy type? Have a great day! I love olives! They are especially good with a nice vodka martini!
Here's a tough one. In the past, sometimes your tweets have rubbed some people the wrong way, e.g. after the Olympiad, "A sad fact of team competitions, you're only as strong as your teammates." (I'm paraphrasing.) How do those statements affect your relationship with colleagues and other players? My teammates understood perfectly well that it was not intended at them. It was a simple statement, but sometimes people choose to see extra hidden meaning.
Gata and I will always be the bruisers for Team USA.
You also follow Napoli FC, a football club in the city of Naples, whose manager ideologically believes that the game is similar to chess in the aspect of exerting control from the center. How did you actually end up following the club though, which I believe is not an automatic choice for mainstream followers of the game? Buona sera, aravindreds!
My fiancée is Italian and lives in Naples. Therefore, I have been spending quite a lot of time there in the past year and a half. One day, I hope to meet Rafael Benitez!
What other "board games" do you play? Baccarat? Primarily backgammon. I have never learned enough about games like craps or baccarat.
I've always wondered how the top players treat each other outside of the playing rooms. Do you guys ever grab a beer together or something? From tournament streams it just seems like the relationships between players are purely respectful and professional. I would say that in the past 60s 70s 80s even the 90s, chess was a lot more fun and enjoyable with everyone being good friends. Nowadays, there is quite a bit of separation and we all do our own thing.
Last updated: 2014-03-02 14:21 UTC
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